We’re here to help! Ring us at 226-647-6000.

What’s Your Bliss? Episode 1 with Valentina

Welcome to What’s your Bliss – a podcast on what’s coming up in gender, sex and relationships, directly from our couch! Each episode our therapists will share stories, ideas, theories, perspectives and questions, intended to feed your curiosity about what brings you Bliss!

For our first episode, Valentina Messier describes how she uses Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) in relationship and sex therapy! Considering multiple perspectives and the situation, anchoring yourself, and knowing your individual and relational values can be helpful tools that support your communication and the level of intimacy you share in your partnerships.

LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODE:

 

FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:

Jess: Hey there! I’m Jess and this is What’s Your Bliss.

[Intro Music]

Jess: Welcome everyone to our very first episode of What’s Your Bliss, hosted by yours truly and on behalf of Bliss Counselling + Psychotherapy in Uptown Waterloo. What’s your Bliss is a podcast on what’s trending in sex and relationships, directly from our couch. I’ll go ahead and disclose right away that I am not a therapist, however I am a sex educator and activist and I have been working for Bliss for about 3 years now.

When I started at Bliss, I was a Client Service Team member. I would sit at the front desk and chat quite a bit with our clients and then of course, our therapists. In probably about a minute or less I would learn so much about each of our therapists, who they are personally and professionally. I was then able to share some of these ideas with our clients calling in, which helped so much when they were looking for a therapist who could be a really great fit. At the time, when I first started working for Bliss, we probably only had about 8 therapists on our team. But, over the past few years we have grown into a roaster of about 30.

Despite the challenges that COVID brought, our team somehow still has the same, if not deeper sense of intimacy that comes with being a small clinic. And now that there is more of us and we have so many more opportunities to connect (which I’ve got to say I am so grateful for!), there’s also a lot more ideas to share.

I hear you asking, “Why am I not doing what I was doing before, why start a podcast and bring all of you into it.” Well, I’m no longer on the front desk. We’ve actually hired some new and wonderful people who are now flourishing and making that a role of their own. And while, I am still connecting with our therapists regularly to witness and to learn so many valuable insights from them – like a true educator or maybe even a really oddly proud parent, I have this idea or this need to share with all of you the stories, ideas, theories, perspectives and questions about sex and relationships that I hear in a day.

So keep in mind that these are super informal conversations. We are not doing therapy here! But, our chats are intended to support your connection and to feed your curiosity about what might be your bliss. However, if you might like to speak to one of our therapists, give our office a shout! Those wonderful folks that I was mentioning before they would be super happy to help you out with finding someone on our team who could be a really great fit.

So I guess with all that being said and out of the way with – are you ready for our first episode? Because I sure am! I have been waiting on this for a few months now. So let’s get this thing started with our very own Valentina to learn more about her bliss, which is the use of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy as a therapeutic tool or approach. So Valentina, maybe we could kick this thing off with you telling us a little bit about you first. Aside from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy what else is your bliss?

Valentina: Yeah, so I can tell you about myself. I guess the obvious is that I am a Registered Psychotherapist here at Bliss. Um, but outside of work, I am also a cat-mom, I am a mom to be and I consider myself, creative. So I love like incorporating that in almost everything that I do. Whether it’s like cooking or um, doing some creative writing. Uh yeah…

Jess: I didn’t know you got into creative writing.

Valentina: I do yeah, it’s more just for myself as a means of expression, it’s not really anything I share with other people, but…

Jess: Totally! So we’ll edit this out, you’re like, “Do not talk about my creative writing.” But that’s so cool. Like, what kind of things do you write about though? Just out of curiosity, I’m just being nosey now.

Valentina: Yeah, so for me a lot of it is poetry. I like the word play component and…

Jess: Yeah.

Valentina: I usually try to draw from like feelings. So…

Jess: Cancer right?

Valentina: Yeah! 

Jess: Yes! This is um my partner, she like absolutely loves poetry and I feel this for anyone who either writes poetry or like really loves reading poetry is that they get like such higher, I don’t know how to say this, it’s like this higher vibration of thoughts. And she just gets so intentional with the words, like even with song lyrics and everything too, like…It’s so incredible.

Valentina: Yeah, that’s like the first thing I pay attention to when I hear new music is like the lyrics and what story is being told. So.

Jess: Yeah

Valentina: That’s interesting

Jess: And I’m sure that’s really like the perfect segue too because I’m sure that’s a lot of the skill that you bring into your therapy sessions.

Valentina It is! It is and I think that in general, I have a curiosity about people and their stories and I try to bring that into our therapy sessions and I like to have a person centred approach and a strengths based approach when working with people. But, I also love to explore thoughts and feelings and get to know more of the context around a person and their life. So…

Jess: And is that like… is that what drew you to ACT as well or? Like how does that fit in?

Valentina: Definitely! It is something that has drawn me to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Um, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy looks a lot at context. Um sometimes the things that we do in one situation might not be appropriate in another situation or the thoughts that we have during one period of our life may not be the same thoughts that we have later in life. And so, I just love looking at the big picture and how everything fits into that um … and looking at which factors in our lives motivate us. Whether it’s the feelings, whether it’s life circumstances and what that motivation leads to as far as what action we’re taking. And how that fits into the life that we want to create for ourselves.

Jess: Yeah, if I’m understanding correctly, just like, ACT can help somebody almost not to think so black and white maybe.

Valentina: Definitely! I think a lot of times when we find ourselves thinking black and white, we miss a lot of what’s actually happening. So I do encourage people to kind of explore that grey area, in between the black and white and ask questions like, “Well, what purpose does this thought have in my life or this behaviour have in my life?”; “How is it serving me?”; “What about my situation right now is leading me to feel the way I am feeling or act the way I am acting?” 

Jess: Mhmm. So you can really hear that piece around the values coming in, like “What are my values and is that actually in line with my values?”

Valentina: Exactly. 

Jess: Umm… Is this something that you feel as though comes up with like premarital sessions that you do? 

Valentina: One thing I notice with couples, when it comes to communication, I catch people having these mental rules. Um, sometimes one partner feels things have to be run a certain way or be done a certain way and the other partner has a completely different mental rule for themselves and for how things need to be taken care of. Um, so it can be so useful to come back to values and ask what is the shared vision for the future of this relationship and what are the shared values that you both have and is sticking to these rules or clinging tightly to them, serving that shared vision, serving the relationship. Once we build awareness around our own thinking or these mental rules, it’s a little bit easier to let go of them and realize “Okay you know what, maybe I have these rules because of my own upbringing and the things I was exposed to myself. My partner has different rules because of their upbringing, their context and we don’t have to let that divide us. We can connect over something that is more meaningful and more important for us.

Jess: I suppose though, I am curious if it, if ACT comes up with sex, but I also don’t know if that’s been coming into your sessions at all.

Valentina: So I think that ACT can play a role with regards to issues around sex, I think a lot of times we get caught up in our head and that can take away from being fully present when we’re trying to sexually engage with a partner. Sometimes building awareness around our own thinking and realizing we might be having thoughts like, “My partner should be the one initiating” or “I don’t feel attractive” um, then we can better understand like what our barriers are and what’s getting in the way. And with ACT a big component is actually mindfulness practice. So learning to detach from some of those thoughts a little bit and shift your focus with some flexibility more towards the experience in the moment and one way of kind of detaching from those thoughts that might not be serving you in the moment when you’re trying to be sexually intimate with a partner is simply noticing and naming – which seems pretty um I guess simplest, but by saying I’m noticing my mind is having the thought that I’m not attractive or I’m noticing my mind is making a judgment about my partner. Even that moment of time where you’ve stepped back and noticed your thinking, that provides you with an opportunity where you can be conscious about what happens next. So if we bring it back to values, if sex is important to you because you value that connection with your partner, then you can ask “Is buying into this thought or buying into this judgment bringing me closer to that?” Or should I give myself permission to let go of that and try to focus in on what will actually bring me closer.

Jess: And so what would you say could be the differences I suppose between ACT, CBT, DBT.

Valentina: Yeah, that’s a really good question. With ACT, CBT, and DBT, there are some similarities. Like all of these approaches examine behaviours, thoughts, feelings but there are some differences. Um, one of the most notable differences between ACT and CBT is the way that we approach our thinking. So in CBT a lot of times what we are encouraged to do is challenge the content of the thoughts we have. So, I”ll give an example, if you have a thought, “I’m not good enough” and I think that’s a pretty common thought most people can relate to. CBT might encourage you to look for evidence that you are good enough and to try to counter that thought or to change that thought into something different. Um, whereas with ACT the aim is rather than assessing the content of the thought, we look at the function of the thought. So for some people, CBT can be helpful they’re able to kind of disprove their thought and they feel better but sometimes that’s not enough and they still find themselves feeling not good enough. With ACT if you’re looking at function rather than asking if this thought is true or is this thought false, what you’re doing is asking, “Is this thought helpful for me?”; “Is this serving me?”; “Is this bringing me closer to who I want to be or the life I want to have?” Regardless of whether or not it’s true or false. 

Jess: Yeah, yeah, I can absolutely see that and especially in the examples you have given now. If I’m feeling like, maybe that low self-esteem, body kind of feeling and I’m judging myself I might try to change my thought pattern to be like, “Well, I can see my partner is really enjoying this, so it’s okay!”

Valentina: Exactly! So you’re looking for evidence like, “My thought is false clearly, like my partner is liking this so they must be attracted to me.” And so those are instances where CBT can be helpful but sometimes though it has its limits, where even when somebody is recognizing that the brain is pretty powerful and will say, “Well that doesn’t mean that your attractive.” It will kind of mess with you a bit.

Jess: Exactly! That’s what I was going to say, it’s almost like there’s a lack of validation in it of being like, that thought is also okay, right? 

Valentina: Right!

Jess: But does it actually serve what I’m trying to do here or the goal that I’m trying to achieve, essentially. So is that where ACT gets its name from…? Like Acceptance and–

Valentina: Commitment Therapy. It is related to that. ACT is a third wave cognitive behaviour therapy. The first wave of cognitive behaviour therapy was the behaviour component and then the second wave was the cognitive component and now this third wave focuses on acceptance. So we shift away from trying to get rid of unwanted feelings and broaden our focus to incorporating more meaningful action and accepting those feelings in our life and I want to clarify that a lot of people don’t like hearing accepting unwanted feelings, but what I mean by accepting is acknowledging that they are part of our reality not necessarily approving of them. Like clearly, they are unwanted- you’re not approving of them but recognizing when we have no control of that. Most of us might wish we had like a delete button in our brain where we could just get rid of thoughts we don’t want or get rid of feelings that are bothersome to us, but we don’t have that power. So a lot of our control actually lies within our actions which is part of why we call it ACT and um, part of letting go of that struggle is accepting, the acceptance part, um what the reality is and then we commit to values guided action. So it is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. 

Jess: Yeah! Um. Who do you think could benefit from ACT? You know? Like I know we’ve talked about um folks in relationships or doing premarital counselling or folks who it sounds like, may be having some challenges with sex and intimacy with their partner. Uh…who else could be like a really good fit for ACT?

Valentina: Yeah so, I may be biased because I love this approach, but I think that most people would benefit from ACT. And the reason why I think this is because so much is based on function. Like all of us have the capacity to ask ourselves how things are working in our lives. Um, and we all have the capacity to explore our personal values and those things that add a sense of meaning to our lives. Um, sometimes when we utilize like a thinking sort of approach where we’re sort of examining our thoughts we might get the feedback that, that sort of top-down, using the tops of our brains and trying to move down approach doesn’t work for people who are experiencing trauma or trying to get through post traumatic stress. However, with ACT there is this experiential component as well, which is that mindfulness piece where we get in touch with the sensations of the body. Um, so I think even for those individuals, ACT can be effective. So it’s kind of both a top-down and a bottom-up approach. 

Jess: Yeah.

Valentina: I love using it, when I am working with individuals who have anxiety or depressive symptoms. I also find it helpful when someone’s had like a big transition in their life or if they’re trying to make a decision like, “Do I stay in this relationship, do I leave?”or “Do I stay in this job or do I look for something else?” Um, I think if you’re feeling like you’re struggling to kind of have your actions align with where you want to be in life then ACT would be a great approach for you. 

Jess: Yeah, so anyone who is basically feeling kind of stuck – a little stuck right now.

Valentina: Yeah, it’s great for that for sure. 

Jess: Oh, well I can buy into that! Um.. Oh actually that was something, when you were mentioning the piece around um it either being like top-bottom or bottom-up or bottom to top, and that there’s like an ability for like using ACT to regulate emotions, is that… was I understanding that correctly?

Valentina: Mhmm. Yes.

Jess: Okay, so something that I think heard a lot with ACT is dropping Anchor!

Valentina: Yes, yes. I love this concept of dropping anchor. It’s also known as grounding, but I like calling it dropping anchor too because it kind of conjures up this image of a storm, like an emotional storm and you are dropping anchor to steady yourself. You’re not getting rid of the storm, you’re just dropping anchor to keep yourself steady. You’re not getting rid of unwanted things, but you’re able to manage in that context and so dropping anchor is essentially is getting in touch with your senses. So it might involve on the movement in your body as you’re breathing it could involve sounds around you or visually what is surrounding you. I love focusing on points of contact or like the feeling of my feet against the floor or my back against the chair. The reason why we focus on these things is because they are all happening in the here and now and they’re easily accessible. So it can really be something that is useful when we find ourselves in a storm and uh, there is research behind mindfulness as well with regards to changing brain structures. So, actually if you practice dropping anchor with some consistency you can reduce the size of the amygdala in your brain, and that’s kind of that survival response centre.

Jess: Yeah!

Valentina: So that results in less intense anxiety experiences for people. 

Jess: Absolutely – I had no idea that it could reduce the size of the amygdala! That in and of itself is really incredible. Holy!

Valentina: Yes, I love incorporating dropping anchor and any sort of mindfulness practice for that reason.

Jess: I bet and that was the thing… what appealed to me with this dropping anchor idea is that it’s one of those handy tools where you can take it anywhere with you.

Valentina: Yes!

Jess: You know, what I mean? I’ve heard of folks who um, use it line at the cash and they are starting to feel impatient or frustrated in that moment and then they’re like, “Okay, this is a moment when I need to drop anchor.”

Valentina: Oh yeah! Or when you’re like stuck in traffic and finding yourself frustrated,

Jess: Oh God yeah, I could have used an anchor today. Absolutely! You know I’ve heard of, I’ve heard of ACT being used as you’re saying like we’ve gone through individual and now we’ve talked about relationship sessions – it’s also been used in groups right? 

Valentina: It has been! And I actually co-facilitate a group with one of my colleagues. Um, and there are some unique benefits of group work versus individual. So of course in an individual setting when you’re using ACT with a therapist, you get that full hour of air time, you get to explore on a deep level some of your own life experiences and your personal values, which is wonderful. Uh. A group setting however, has a lot of benefits that you don’t necessarily get in the individual group. When you’re working with a group you have this gift of different perspectives so it allows you to more easily see things in a new light. At the same time, hearing from other people, you start to recognize that you have a shared experience. Where before you might have felt alone in your experience now there are these other people who are sharing with the group that they also resonate with those same feelings so it can be a really validating experience to be working with a group. I think it’s also the preference for some people who don’t necessarily feel comfortable having all of the air time, they’d rather be a listener at times and then share when they feel comfortable, um, so that’s another perk of working in a group. There are some differences as well with the group, my colleague and I, we have an agenda for each week and there’s a psychoeducation component. We do start each session with a mindfulness exercise and then we allow for some various exercises around values and some discussion so it’s a little bit more structured than what you might find individually. Ideally, doing both would probably cover all the bases and be great. 

Jess: That’s incredible! And does anybody need anything to prepare for the group? Is there any homework they should do before jumping into a group setting? 

Valentina: So we usually have a 15 minute consult with people who are interested, where we talk about what to expect with the group. There’s not really any homework that needs to be done, Sheila and I – my colleague and I, we’re pretty prepared and we guide people through it so there’s nothing really to be afraid of.

Jess: Oh that’s incredible, so me, if I don’t know my values and I’m feeling stuck – I’m all set to go? I can jump right into this course?

Valentina: Right! We’ve got some tools to help identify values.

Jess: Amazing! Well thanks so much Valentina for doing this with me!

Valentina: Yeah, thanks so much for having me!

Jess: And thank you all so much for joining us and for listening to our first episode here with Valentina. Like I said at the very beginning if you are looking to book an appointment either with Valentina or with another one of our therapists here at Bliss or to join in on some of our group therapy sessions that we’ve got going on, please give us a call at the office or send us an email. I hope that you all have a blissful rest of your days!

[Outro Music]

DID YOU ENJOY THE SHOW? LET US KNOW! 

Share your feedback with the author of the show, Jess Boulé (jess@blisscounselling.ca) or leave us a review on LibSyn!

Different Therapeutic Approaches Used for Alcohol Addiction Treatment

Alcohol use is marked by an uncontrolled and compulsive need to drink. We may seek treatment regarding alcohol use, if we; feel a compulsion to drink, feel we no longer have control over how much we’re drinking, feel uncomfortable when we are unable to drink. Not having an alcoholic drink may lead to challenges in managing emotions and day to day responsibilities.

When seeking treatment for alcohol use, the first step may be to speak with a doctor and to create recovery goals. From this assessment, the doctor will advise the next step, which could include: a treatment centre (inpatient or outpatient), therapy (biofeedback, cognitive behaviour therapy, psychotherapy, family behaviour therapy, or holistic therapy) and/or a support group.

 

Types of Alcohol Addiction Treatment

 

i) Inpatient Rehab

Inpatient alcohol rehabilitation offers structured treatment to address multiple facets of a person’s addiction. During this treatment, the patient must live in a substance-free facility where they get round-the-clock support and medical care. Inpatient rehab is good for anyone with chronic addiction and those with co-occurring/behavioural disorders.

ii) Outpatient Rehab

An outpatient rehab program offers the same level of care, treatment, and therapies as an inpatient one. The only difference is that with the former, the person gets to live at their residence.  Outpatient rehabs allow for the individual to continue their daily routines such as: managing jobs, careers, and families.

This type of rehabilitation approach may be more appealing to those wanting to maintain their day to day routine. The challenges associated with having access to our home and the surrounding environments (e.g., LCBO, beer store, parties, etc.) could be triggering or create difficulties in maintaining sobriety. Having access to such things can create triggers and a challenge around maintaining sobriety.

Therefore, outpatient programs are best suited for those with mild addiction and have a strong support system around them.

Therapeutic Approaches Used for Alcohol Addiction Treatment

 

i) Biofeedback Therapy

Biofeedback therapy has been researched for over 25 years and has shown to be an effective treatment. The treatment process assists and teaches the client to produce more normal EEG patterns. Biofeedback therapy is a computer based, brain-training technique used to help with developing more control over brainwave activity resulting in improved life functioning.

During a typical treatment, sensors are placed on the scalp of a client to measure brainwaves through a computer software system. Each session ranges between 20-60 minutes and it is recommended that a person attend two to three sessions per week. 

These electronic sensors monitor the ongoing brain activity which is recorded as brain wave patterns. Once the therapist reviews the results, a conversation is had with the client to discuss and recommend additional psychological techniques for working through the addiction.

 

ii) Cognitive Behavioural Therapy

Studies tell us that Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is a highly effective method for working through alcohol addiction. The therapist works towards identifying negative and destructive thought patterns and behaviours. The therapist uses CBT to work towards replacing the negative thoughts and behaviours with positive ones.

The success of CBT relies on the conversation between a therapist and the client. It is a solution-based therapy that relies more on constructive actions rather than the medical diagnosis itself. Common elements of CBT are – challenging and confronting fears, harmful beliefs, ways to improve social interaction, and coping skills to manage cravings.

 

 iii) Psychotherapy

During a psychotherapy session, the client discusses their personal challenges and difficult experiences with a registered social worker, registered psychotherapist and/or psychologist. This therapeutic approach can be used in individual, group and family settings.

The therapist uses the information collected to analyze a person’s long-standing issues, daily challenges, past traumas, fears, and personal difficulties. If the client wishes to see a psychologist, they would be able to receive a diagnosis and prescribed medication.

 

iv) Family Behaviour Therapy

Addiction has multiple facets. It affects not only the individual suffering with the addiction but those closest to the person such as family and friends. There are several cases where family members are unknowingly enabling the individual’s addiction. Family behaviour therapy addresses all these things.

During a therapy session in an addiction rehab centre, families work on setting goals, and learning behavioural techniques. The idea is to improve family dynamics and make it more conducive to encouraging recovery and healthy living. In doing this, it encourages healthy communication between family members. To foster recovery, family members are encouraged to work on their roles and partake in effective boundary setting moving forward.

Family behaviour therapy is highly effective in getting families to work as a cohesive unit. They learn to support and help each other to achieve sobriety goals. This type of therapy is typically conducted at a later stage of treatment, after alcohol detox is completed.

 

v) Holistic Therapy

Holistic alcohol addiction treatment focuses on healing a person’s mind, body, and soul. It takes into account the overall well-being of a person. This is achieved through managing physical withdrawal symptoms as well. 

Holistic therapies include:

  • Guided meditation
  • Mindfulness practices
  • Breathwork
  • Yoga
  • Acupuncture and acupressure
  • Massage therapy 
  • Sound therapy
  • Aromatherapy
  • Reiki

 

Finding Support Groups

 

After an individual has completed a rehabilitation program for their addiction it is suggested that they seek support through external groups. Being part of an external group support system assists in the transition from rehabilitation centre to navigating their new sober life.

Support groups are instrumental in encouraging long-term recovery and care both during and after rehab. They provide a safe place to speak with like minded individuals and seek a sponsor. Support groups such as some outlined below are easily accessible to those in all communities and offered at various times each week.

 

12-Step Programs

These are highly popular programs that are considered to be standard for sustainable recovery post-rehab. The program follows a 12-step model and 12 traditions that the participants complete. Each step allows the person to adapt to their surroundings and meet personal goals.

Narcotics Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous are the two most well-regarded 12-steps programs in the US and Canada.

 

Alcoholics Anonymous

Alcoholics Anonymous meetings offer a common ground for individuals to get together and share their stories with others who have lived very similar stories.Those who join AA meetings appreciate that they are able to relate and draw inspiration from others in the group through storytelling.

During group sessions many conversations are had around how recovery both impacted and improved the person’s life. AA meetings are held daily in community and/or church buildings allowing for those in recovery to attend as frequently as needed.

There are two types of meetings – open and closed. The former invites loved ones and family members to attend while the latter is solely for recovering individuals.

 

Narcotics Anonymous

Inspired by Alcoholics Anonymous, NA meetings create a sense of community for recovering addicts. Members get to meet and motivate one another by sharing their success stories and anecdotes. It helps each other to stay committed to living a drug-free life and avoid relapses. 

 

Conclusion

 

Alcohol addiction is one of the most common forms of addiction. It is highly treatable and there is plenty of help and resources available to achieve sustainable, life-long sobriety.

 

 

Written By:

Holly a freelance writer who loves to help those struggling with addiction. Holly’s own personal experience has inspired her to share resources and be part of others’ recovery journey. Holly has been sober for five years and counting. Holly is a frequent contributor to many addiction-related blogs and organizations such as the Addiction Treatment Division and Inpatient-Rehab.org.

 

References:

https://www.webmd.com/pain-management/biofeedback-therapy-uses-benefits

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2897895/

https://www.yorkregiontherapy.com/biofeedback/

 

How Cognitive and Dialectical Behavior Therapy Works in Recovery

CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) and DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) are similar forms of talk therapy, also known as psychotherapy. 

Both forms of therapy will help you to more effectively communicate, and both forms of therapy can help you discover more about the condition you’re using psychotherapy to address. 

Both cognitive behavioral therapy and dialectical behavior therapy are evidence-based, meaning a battery of hard data proves the effectiveness of both forms of talk therapy. 

These psychotherapies are proven effective for treating: 

  • Alcohol use disorder
  • GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) 
  • Insomnia 
  • Major depressive disorder 
  • Panic disorders 
  • Phobias 
  • PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) 
  • Substance use disorder 

NAMI shows that roughly 10% of adults in the US will develop a substance use disorder in any given year, with around 20% of American adults also experiencing some kind of mental health condition during that same year. Both substance use disorders and mental health disorders are commonplace, then, and they also frequently co-occur in a dual diagnosis. 

With both of these conditions so prevalent, drug and alcohol rehab centers use therapies like CBT and DBT in combination with medication-assisted treatment to deliver holistic treatment that’s proven effective for treating a range of conditions. 

CBT 101 

Cognitive behavioral therapy is a highly adaptable form of therapy applicable to many conditions from depression and anxiety to substance use disorder and alcohol use disorder. Once you master the basics, you’ll feel capable of more effectively controlling your emotions and your recovery. 

CBT sessions are delivered individually or in a group setting as appropriate. 

Whether one-to-one or as part of a group, you’ll work with a therapist to explore the close and interrelated nature of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. 

Cognitive behavioral therapy can help you view things more objectively, and you’ll also discover that you don’t need to allow how you think and feel to govern your behavior. 

CBT is a goal-oriented and skills-based form of therapy with a grounding on logic and reasoning. As you pursue a course of cognitive behavioral therapy, you’ll examine how your thoughts and feelings can influence your behaviors. This is especially valuable in the case of destructive or harmful behaviors.  

Beyond this, CBT will also help you to isolate the people, places, or things that trigger you to engage in self-defeating behaviors.   

Equipped with the ability to identify these triggers, you’ll then create healthier coping strategies for stressors. When triggered in a real-world situation outside the therapy session, you can implement these strategies rather than being guided by the automatic thoughts that can lead to poor behaviors if unchecked. This is perhaps the most powerful way in which CBT can minimize the chance of relapse in recovery.  

DBT 101 

Marsha Linehan created DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) to treat patients with BPD (borderline personality disorder) when working as a psychologist at University of Washington. 

DBT has been used since the 1980s to treat a variety of mental health conditions, including: 

  • Bipolar disorder 
  • Depression 
  • Dual diagnosis 
  • Self-harm 
  • Substance use disorder 
  • Suicidal ideation 
  • Trauma caused by sexual assault 

 When you engage with dialectical behavior therapy, you’ll learn to acknowledge discomfort or pain while still feeling “normal”. By equipping yourself with the skills to cope with life’s stressors, even in hostile environments, you’ll minimize your chances of engaging in negative or destructive behaviors. 

DBT sessions are delivered in a module-based format. 

You’ll empower yourself and your recovery by mastering the following techniques: 

  • Distress tolerance: DBT will teach you to better tolerate stressful situations and to more comfortably deal with volatile emotional issues without relapsing or experiencing symptoms of depression or anxiety 
  • Emotion regulation: Through DBT, you’ll gain a more thorough understanding of your emotions, and you’ll become more capable of resisting the impulsive and emotion-driven behavior you’re trying to eliminate 
  • Interpersonal effectiveness: Dialectical behavior therapy can help you to sharpen your communication skills, improving your interpersonal relationships at the same time 
  • Mindfulness: Instead of getting bogged down in the past or anxious about the future, DBT will help you to focus fully on the present with a mindfulness component to therapy applicable to many conditions 

How CBT and DBT Work for Recovery 

Your treatment provider will advise you whether CBT or DBT is most suitable for treating your condition. 

In the case of a personality disorder, for instance, DBT in combination with medication-assisted treatment is likely the most effective approach to treatment.  

Substance use disorder or alcohol use disorder, on the other hand, often respond best to treatment with cognitive behavioral therapy. 

The core focus of CBT is the interconnected nature of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. DBT acknowledges this interconnection, but focuses on mindfulness, acceptance, and emotion regulation. 

CBT is proven effective for treating: 

  • Anxiety disorder 
  • Depression 
  • Panic disorder 
  • PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) 
  • Sleep disorder 

DBT was created for the treatment of BPD, and is still commonly used in this area. There is also robust research on the effectiveness of DBT for treating: 

  • Anxiety disorder
  • BPD with substance use disorder 
  • Depressive disorder 
  • Eating disorders 
  • PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) 

CBT vs DBT for Treating Alcohol Use Disorder and Substance Use Disorder 

CBT and DBT can both be effectively used to treat alcohol use disorder and substance use disorder. 

A simple course of CBT will help you to pinpoint your triggers for substance use. You’ll also learn to implement coping strategies that don’t involve a chemical crutch. 

With DBT, you’ll dive deeper, examining the core issue. The mindfulness component of DBT can help many people with substance use disorder to better navigate the emotional imbalances confronting them. 

 DBT vs CBT for Treating Co-Occurring Disorder 

DBT is proven effective for treating a variety of mental health conditions, from anxiety and depression to PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) and ADHD (attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder). These mental health disorders often co-occur with alcohol use disorder and substance use disorder.  

When DBT is used to treat a dual diagnosis like this, you can address both issues simultaneously through this form of therapy. 

CBB is used even more often for the treatment of dual diagnosis, delivered in combination with medication-assisted treatment if appropriate. There is a strong empirical evidence base demonstrating the effectiveness of cognitive behavioral therapy for treating substance use disorders. 

CBT vs DBT for Treating Anxiety 

Data indicates that CBT is more effective than CBT for treating anxiety. It’s also more effective for treating depressive disorders, phobias. 

CBT has also been shown to alleviate the symptoms of anxiety associated with PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) and OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) in this meta-analysis of studies. 

CBT vs DBT for Treating Bipolar 

Bipolar disorder typically requires integrated treatment combining psychopharmacology with adjunctive psychotherapy. 

 Both forms of psychotherapy are effective for treating bipolar disorder. 

With CBT interventions, you can manage unhelpful thought processes while establishing a relapse prevention strategy for episodes of mania and depression. 

With DBT interventions, you’ll learn to sharpen your focus, improve communication and social functioning, decrease negative, self-defeating behaviors, and more effectively cope with emotional pain. 

 Final Thoughts 

Both CBT and DBT can be effective for treating substance use disorder, alcohol use disorder and a broad spectrum of mental health conditions. 

CBT can help you to recognise the triggers for poor behaviors with the aim of avoiding them, while DBT will empower you with superior emotional regulation and enhanced mindfulness. 

 

___________________________________________

This is a guest post written by Joe Gilmore, a creator on behalf of Renaissance Recovery. Renaissance Recovery is a drug and alcohol rehab in Orange County dedicated to helping clients kick their substance abuse habit and establish long-lasting sobriety. You can view their website at the following link: https://www.renaissancerecovery.com/

 

Chronic Wounds and Mental Health – An Overlooked Connection?

When we think about our health, what often comes to mind are physical health issues like cancer, diabetes, and cardiovascular disease. These conditions do deserve significant attention, and certainly do pose a risk to our health. However, along with many of these conditions, there is another complication that does not garner as much attention, although it does significantly affect our health: our mental health.

Chronic wounds are those wounds that do not heal in the expected time frame and do not follow the normal healing process. The result is an ongoing battle to overcome the wound and return to an active lifestyle. 

Coping with a chronic wound can feel like an uphill battle with no end in sight. This is also why chronic wounds can affect our mental health so dramatically – because they seem like injuries that cannot be overcome.   

What Is Mental Health?

Mental health can simply be defined as the absence of mental illness. However, mental health deserves a much broader definition and more widespread recognition than it is given. It can be the difference between functioning at a satisfactory level and truly embracing and enjoying our lives, especially when it comes to chronic wound care

The World Health Organization defines mental health as “subjective well-being, perceived self-efficacy, autonomy, competence, intergenerational dependence, and self-actualization of one’s intellectual and emotional potential, among others.” Ultimately, our well-being includes the realization of our abilities, coping with normal stresses of life, productive work, and contribution to our community. 

Our mental health also affects how we think, how we perceive the world, the actions we take, and how we feel on a day-to-day basis. It can also contribute to how we handle life’s stresses, setbacks and failures, and our relationships. All in all, mental health encompasses just about everything we experience as humans, which is why it’s so important.

According to the Centers for Disease Control, nearly one in five U.S. adults live with a mental illness (46.6 million in 2017), with an estimated 11.2 million adults aged 18 or older in the United States with what can be classified as a Serious Mental Illness. This means 4.5% of all U.S. adults cope with some form of mental illness.

Many factors contribute to our ability to maintain our own mental health. These include any biological problems we may have, our life experiences, our family history, and any health conditions we are coping with – such as chronic wounds.

 

How Do Chronic Wounds Affect Mental Health?

According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), the presence of chronic conditions can increase the risk for mental illness. For example, conditions like Parkinson’s disease and stroke cause changes in the brain, which may trigger symptoms of depression. 

Depression is also common in people who have chronic illnesses such as cancer, coronary heart disease, diabetes, Alzheimer’s disease, HIV/AIDS, rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, and epilepsy, among others.

Chronic illness can also cause feelings of illness-related anxiety and stress related to coping with  wounds. Moreover, when depression and anxiety are present, the symptoms, as well as those of the chronic health condition, tend to be more severe.

The NIMH also says people with depression are at higher risk for other medical conditions. As an example, people with depression have an increased risk of cardiovascular disease, diabetes, stroke, Alzheimer’s disease, and osteoporosis.

One explanation for this is that mental illness may interfere with the ability to cope with chronic health conditions. For example, with mental illness present, a person may find it more difficult to seek care, take prescribed medication, eat well, and exercise.

Lastly, preliminary research suggests that symptoms of depression and anxiety can cause signs of increased inflammation, changes in the control of blood circulation and heart rate, increased stress hormones, and metabolic changes that increase the risk of diabetes – all of which impact our health and our ability to cope with chronic health conditions.

 

How Can Mental Health Be Improved While Coping with Chronic Wounds?

The process of wound healing comes in four stages and it’s imperative to maintain mental health throughout each of them. While the most common treatment strategies for mental illness include cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), medication, such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, (SSRIs), and, in the most severe cases, electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), there are many lifestyle changes that we can incorporate every day to improve our mental health. 

Psychology Today suggests the following nine, all of which apply especially to chronic wound care patients:

  1. Be positive.

While it is easy to overlook the automatic thoughts that run through our heads, when combined, they can add up to a negative outlook. When we see life through a negative lens, we tend to focus more on the things that confirm that belief. On the other hand, when we incorporate positive thoughts, these often lead to positive interpretations. For example, rather than saying, “I can’t do anything right,” try saying, “It didn’t work out this time, but I will try again.”

 

  1. Be grateful and write it down.

It’s now clear that feelings of gratitude do significantly affect our mental health. When we can find things in our lives to be grateful for, not only do we feel differently, we also act differently – in ways that often lead to additional mental health benefits. One quick way to start is to keep a gratitude journal, or better yet, try practicing three acts of gratitude every day.

 

  1. Focus on what we can control, and be in the moment. 

Both ruminating about the past and forecasting the future can cause feelings of regret, depression, and anxiety. We can’t do anything about the past or the future. However, what we can do is stop and choose to focus on what we can control – our actions in the present moment. One easy way to do this is to simply pay attention to your routine activities and the thoughts that accompany them.

 

  1. Get active.

Exercise is one of the most palpable ways to gain a sense of control. When you exercise, despite what else is happening in your life, you remind yourself that you can do something positive for your mind and body. Further, exercise increases stress relieving and mood lifting hormones, which have both an immediate and ongoing effect. Exercise can be incorporated in 30-minute blocks, or you can simply look for small ways to increase your activity level, like taking the stairs, going for a walk, or playing with your dog.

 

  1. Eat right. 

What we eat provides our brain with the ingredients to function well and improve our mood. Carbohydrates increase serotonin, which makes you happy, while protein-rich foods increase norepinephrine, dopamine, and tyrosine, which help keep you alert. Fruits and vegetables provide nutrients that feed every cell in the body, including mood-regulating brain chemicals. Lastly, foods with Omega-3 polyunsaturated fatty acids (found in fish, nuts, and flaxseed) can improve both our cognitive function and our mood.

 

  1. Open up.

When we bottle emotions up, we don’t give ourselves an opportunity to cope  and find creative solutions. We also dampen our ability to recognize our own habits, which may be contributing to how we feel. On the other hand, when we open up to someone else, we can pinpoint the positive aspects in other people (such as feeling valued or experiencing a sense of trust) and overcome our own biases.

 

  1. Do something for someone else. 

Like acts of gratitude, being helpful to others has a beneficial effect on how we feel about ourselves. Moreover, being helpful helps us feel valued, which contributes to positive self-esteem and helps us find a sense of meaning in our lives.

 

  1. Chill out. 

Sometimes in moments of high stress what we really need to do is step away. Often by simply slowing down, we can gain a greater perspective on what is going on, and in the process, find a positive solution. You can start with focusing on something that brings you positive feelings, such as a person that you love, an experience you enjoy, or something you are grateful for. You can also talk a walk, spend a moment in nature, or close your eyes and visualize yourself feeling calm and at peace.

 

  1. Get a good night’s rest. 

Sleep deprivation has a significantly negative effect on our mood, and sadly many of us don’t get enough sleep. Sleep can be improved with a few daily habits such as going to bed at a regular time each night, avoiding caffeinated beverages for a few hours before sleep, shutting off screens before bed, or incorporating relaxing activities before bed.

 

There are many powerful components of mental health, like enjoying our lives, feeling as if we are striving toward something important, utilizing our skills, and seeking to reach our full potential, to name a few. And while chronic health conditions are often an overlooked deterrent to mental health, incorporating daily habits -i.e. replacing automatic negative thoughts with positive ones, performing acts of gratitude, staying in the moment, exercising, eating well, opening up, being helpful, taking time out, getting enough sleep, etc. – we can combat mental illness even amidst difficult chronic health conditions.


Written By: Claire Nana

Claire Nana, LMFT, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in post-traumatic growth, optimal performance, and wellness. She’s written over thirty continuing education courses on a variety of topics from Nutrition and Fitness, Mental Health, Wound Care, Post-Traumatic Growth, Motivation, Stigma.

HOW TO TALK TO A LOVED ONE ABOUT THEIR MENTAL HEALTH

Being open about our mental health is not a given. Many people living with mental health concerns and emotional pains, or wounds, feel uncomfortable sharing their experience with those around them, and understandably so. Discussions around mental health may still be considered ‘taboo’ for some folks.

Despite mental health being a difficult conversation, the reality is that an estimated 1 billion people around the world have concerns about their mental health. During COVID, these conversations may be unavoidable, as families and households are spending more time together in close proximity. 

Why is Mental Health Taboo?


Mental health can be a difficult topic for people for a variety of reasons. Depending on our race, gender, upbringing, religious background, world views, many factors can affect how we relate to and view mental health.

I’m sure many can relate to the idea of men having to present as ‘macho’, as the ‘bread-winner’ and being ‘strong’, while women may relate to the stereotype of having to present as ‘vulnerable’ and ‘agreeable’ or ‘passive’.

These stereotypes impact the way society views and accept one another.

When we do not fit into some of these narrow views of how we “should” identify or present ourselves, it may make others feel uncomfortable, and we may end up feeling unaccepted, or unwanted.

Our mental health is affected by these societal values and standards, but some of the challenges we face can also be caused by them.

For example, many of us struggle with our mental health when we feel a loss of purpose, community, or understanding. As humans, we need purpose. It’s an evolutionary survival trait. We seek a community for the same reason. There is safety in numbers and we crave to be understood, accepted and welcomed in our groups.

When people hold cultural, religious, gender-related biases within their values, it can create a disconnect in our ability to feel understood and to feel as though we relate to those around us.

These biases, that to a certain degree, we all have, can make us feel uncomfortable when discussing certain topics, such as mental health.

If I was brought up by a family and community who value traditions in gender and hetero norms, and I was born as someone who was gay, for example, I may struggle to come to terms with who I am, but more so, those around me may not be willing to listen to or try to relate to who I am.

Essentially… mental health is taboo because we make it so.

How to Talk to Someone Struggling with their Mental Health


Before opening a dialogue with someone about their mental health, it’s worth taking a step back and asking ourselves these questions.

Can I put aside my opinions, which have been formed through my very unique life experiences, to try to approach this situation from a place of open understanding and empathy?

In other words, can I appreciate that my opinions and values have been shaped by my very unique experiences throughout life and that those experiences differ wildly from those around me? We are all individuals with very different lives. What may seem normal or a given to one person may be completely foreign to another.

Am I ready to listen and be there for this person regardless of my opinions around mental health?

How can we respond when someone shares something with us that we cannot relate to or understand? When we can’t relate to an experience, it can be really difficult to listen with intent. If someone is approaching us sharing a hardship, and we don’t recognize the situation as a hardship, that doesn’t mean it isn’t difficult for the person in question.

For example, if someone loses their pen and has a panic attack, someone who has never experienced this feeling may consider that person is ‘over-exaggerating’ or ‘crazy’. However, for this person, they may be experiencing obsessive-compulsive symptoms. Their perspective may be that they’ve just lost the item that made them feel safe and in control of their anxiety. Not everyone can relate to this feeling, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t real. And just like people with a herniated disk, people with obsessive-compulsive symptoms need to be given time and support to recover.

During COVID, it is particularly important to be mindful of respecting one’s personal space. Conversations can get heated, and living in close proximity to our loved ones can cause discussions to escalate without an escape or a break. If you notice a conversation becoming confrontational or unproductive, honour yourself and your loved one by taking a step back from the conversation, revisiting it at a time when the people involved are ready to speak calmly and listen with intent and empathy.

Am I Mentally Prepared to Listen about this Person’s Experience with Mental Health?

It’s important to check in with our own mental health before opening our hearts and ears to anyone else. It’s like the aeroplane safety videos say, put on your own safety equipment before helping others, because you won’t be much help if you don’t.

Simple Rules to Abide By


Listen. Many people with mental health concerns are in need of someone to share with. A lot of the time, talking things through and verbalizing our anxieties can put them into perspective. Take some of the pressure off of yourself, you don’t have to have any answers to fix your loved ones mental health. Offering your time and attention, showing you care and are there to support them, is enough.

Mirror their tone. It’s super common for people to use humour as a defence mechanism. If the person you’re talking to is laughing about their own mental health, it could be that they are doing it to cope through the conversation, in which case, if it comes naturally to you and you’re comfortable with the person, you can laugh too. If they aren’t laughing though, neither should you.

Be careful with recommendations. ‘Oh you have X? I’ve heard Y is the BEST for treating X!’ – If they’re talking to you about X, they’ve probably heard of Y. Heck, they may even have tried it already! Recommendations are fine and may be appreciated, but just recognize that the person hearing your suggestions may…

     Not be ready to hear it;
     Not be ready to take the information in;
     Already have tried it;
     Just want to talk and share their frustrations.

Unless you’re a healthcare provider with experience in the mental health space, you likely aren’t going to know enough to be able to recommend specific treatments. By all means, offer help in researching treatment plans, but you shouldn’t assume to know what is best for the individual unless you have had formal training.
Remember, we’re all different! What worked for a friend in a similar situation may not work for everyone. We all have unique reasons for our mental state, and we all have different responses to types of therapy, treatment and medication.

How to Access Support


If you’re doing research looking for suggestions for your loved one for treatment, here’s what you need to know.

Currently, worldwide, access to in-person therapy is limited due to COVID. In certain areas, in-person therapy may be an option. For the areas that it’s not, there are online treatment plans available.
Online therapy allows people to get help from the comfort of their homes, which for many, is incredibly convenient in 2020.

The best form of treatment known for folks who are experiencing obsessive-compulsive symptoms is a form of therapy known as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). This approach is available online as well as in-person.


There are also self-help practices that people with mental health concerns may wish to try, such as meditation or breathing exercises, but depending on the severity of the challenges or symptoms, seeking professional help may be more suited.

When speaking with a loved one about mental health, remember to approach the conversation with empathy and patience. Seeking help for our mental health is tough, and the person struggling may need time before they can ask for the help they may need. Discuss options with them in an open-minded way without expectations.

If your loved one has shared that they are planning to harm themselves or others, seek urgent support by calling 911, going to your nearest Emergency Department, or by reaching out to HERE 24/7.

_______

Written by: Gabie Lazareff

img_7993%25204_edited_edited.jpg


Gabie Lazareff is a certified health coach, yoga teacher and freelance nutrition & wellness writer. After years of navigating the messy waters of mental health, her mission is to share her experiences and advice with others.

How COVID-19 Can Make Us Feel Alone: 5 Ways To Help That

As the coronavirus pandemic continues, many of us are feeling lonely. Our usual routines of seeing friends, family, even colleagues, are no longer the norm and the social habits we used to adhere to have changed.

 

Consequently, loneliness is a genuine and growing problem. But there are ways to combat it yourself.

 

The lockdown has eased and social gatherings are now permitted, albeit with certain restrictions. But even then, some of us may not feel comfortable coming into contact with groups of people. We may still be shielding as a precaution and the thought of socializing after such a prolonged period in isolation might seem daunting.

 

If COVID-19 has left you feeling lonely, read on to discover a few ways that you can help it.

Live in the moment

If you’re feeling lonely, it can be tempting to think that this will last forever, especially with the world in such disarray. Indeed, with questions persisting of how long this ‘new normal’ will last, when the next spike will arrive, how to prepare for the future, and so on, you might be feeling physically and mentally exhausted.

 

If you are diabetic, for instance, you might be in a constant state of apprehension at the thought of shielding for the foreseeable future. Government programs that provide financial relief for self-isolating workers won’t last forever, and the question of whether to remain shielding or return will only amplify that further.

 

Trans people are also in a similar situation. With medical resources being diverted toward coronavirus, effective and inclusive treatments have become increasingly difficult to find. The uncertainty of when (or if) they will receive their required medication causes immense stress and apprehension, impacting their mental health as a result.

 

And there are doubtless many parents who relied on school or summer camps to help ease the burden of childcare.

 

For single parents, this will only be exacerbated — when your life is a balancing act of work and childcare, it leaves little time for socializing, amplifying feelings of loneliness as a result.

 

Consequently, it’s important to live in the moment as much as possible.

 

Enjoy the physical and sensual things around you. The smell of coffee, the sound of leaves rustling in the wind, the feel of the sun on your face — these are all simple pleasures that we often overlook while focusing on the what-ifs of the future.

 

Mindfulness is an especially effective technique for helping you achieve this. Focus on the situation around you and try to shut out other thoughts. You might find it helpful to use a mindfulness app such as Calm to help you achieve this.

Seek therapy where necessary

Loneliness is something virtually everyone experiences at some point in our lives. Even the most bubbly and vivacious people feel lonely at times. But in some cases, loneliness can be so debilitating that it requires professional, informed insight to help us work through our issues and find the answers within.

 

One can even feel lonely in relationships, even during the lockdown. Someone might be struggling with their mental health and retreat into themselves, even isolating from their partner, housemates, family, friends, colleagues, even their own children. Professional insight can give us a sense of perspective, helping us navigate these difficult and unusual times.

 

This applies whether you’re in a relationship or solo. Independent, informed exploration of your feelings gives you valuable insight into your relationships, both romantic and otherwise, so you can understand better how to love yourself on your own terms.

Start a project to distract the mind

Being alone isn’t necessarily a bad thing — it’s just how you deal with being alone that matters. Some people are quite comfortable being alone, while others struggle.

 

Introverted people, in particular, might find the new easing of restrictions actually exacerbates their loneliness. It can seem as though everyone else relishes the chance to meet and socialize again, with introverts feeling like the odd one out for not sharing that excitement.

 

Starting a project is a great way to distract your mind and help you enjoy your alone time.

 

A good project gives your mind something practical to focus on, other than ruminating on your loneliness. It forces your brain to think, challenging it to solve a problem.

 

Jigsaws are a good example of this. A complex puzzle requires the mind to think, and the final result makes one feel productive. Similarly, you might find painting a therapeutic project to fill your mind for the same reasons.

 

Whatever project you choose, remember to pour yourself into it. Let it fill your mind and give purpose to your solo time, distracting yourself from your negative thought cycle.

 

This is easier said than done, of course — some may have deeper traumas that are more difficult to manage. But a common CBT technique might prove useful for some here.

 

View your mind as a clear blue sky, and your thoughts as clouds. If an intrusive, negative thought drifts into your mind, don’t fixate on it. Instead, simply acknowledge it is there, and return your focus to the task at hand.

 

This helps you push past intrusive thoughts, giving you some degree of control, not over your thoughts themselves, but certainly how they manifest within your mind.

Make the most of video calls

During the lockdown, it’s easy to neglect the usual relationships we have. Unable to see friends, family, and loved ones in person, we can easily stay inside without talking to anyone for days, and it becomes a habit.

 

But it’s crucial that you take steps to pursue those connections. Video technology like Zoom or Houseparty makes it easy to stay in touch with loved ones.

 

You’ve likely played an online quiz with friends, family, loved ones, or colleagues, for instance. But some people have taken video calls to creative new heights — virtual picnics, virtual card games, even a virtual happy hour.

 

For introverts, these activities can still seem quite daunting, even with loved ones via a video call. Instead, something like Netflix Party offers a more subdued social activity that you can enjoy via video.

 

This is a particularly great option for parents too. Reach out to a fellow parent and stick on a film for the kids, while you can have a catch-up via video.

 

If you are LGBTQI2S+ and have suddenly found yourself living at home again, you might experience difficulties with your family members. Not all families are as inclusive, and video calls with fellow LGBTQI2S+ offer welcome relief.

 

It’s worth trawling LGBTQI2S+ Reddit communities here — reach out to others in the same situation and arrange a video call. Connecting with someone in the same situation can be a wonderful salve for loneliness.

 

Just as you might usually meet up with a colleague for a lunchtime coffee or have an evening walk with a friend, take those meetings online with a video hangout. Arrange to have an online quiz or game of cards — whatever it is, as long as you’re staying in touch, even virtually.

 

No, it’s not the same thing as meeting up with someone in real life. But it builds social habits that will tide you through these difficult times.

Make a plan for your day and beyond

A good plan is essential for staving off loneliness and building a positive mental mindset. This is particularly true during the lockdown, as our usual routines have been thrown into disarray.

 

Plan your day, week, and month so you know what to expect. Create a routine and wake, eat, exercise, and sleep at the same time every day (as much as possible). This builds good mental stability and prevents you from wallowing.

 

But this planning extends beyond your day ahead of you. It’s also worth planning what you want to do once the lockdown has lifted. Think about loved ones you want to visit and places you want to see — this gives you something to look forward to and buoys your spirits when you need it most.

 

Loneliness can happen to us all, and if left unmanaged, it can lead to serious mental health issues over time. Follow the tips above and take steps to help manage your loneliness and keep your head above water during the pandemic.

 

_______________

Written by Orion Talmay

 

Orion Talmay is a wellness expert and love coach. Through her integrative approach, Orion’s Method, she helps women awaken their inner goddess and nurture their feminine confidence. Orion is a graduate of Tony Robbins’ Mastery University and holds certifications with the AAPT, KBA, and AFFA.”

Inner Balance: Time for Yourself

Finding time for yourself is something we all struggle with, but it’s essential for peace of mind and mental wellbeing. If you want to know how those zen-like friends of yours do it, all you have to do is take a look at how they spend those precious few hours of spare time they get each week. It can be tempting to just pull out Facebook and see what everyone’s up to, but all that does is set your mind racing as you inundate yourself with information. Take a look at the following wise words and you’ll be able to enjoy every second of life as you restore your inner balance.

Take Some Time to Just Sit and Listen to the Birds

There’s a lot to be said for embracing boredom and leaving your phone in your pocket, so why not give it a try? It’s something we could all do with doing a little more often, and it’s a great way to start your day. Taking the time to make yourself a cup of coffee and sit outside in the garden is the ideal quiet start to what will likely prove to be a hectic day. It’s a chance to ground yourself, to relax, and to take in the simple things in life. If you do it every day for a week, it’ll become a key part of your daily routine that you can’t do without.

Head to a Clinic for a Pampering Session

Cosmetic clinics are the place to go to if you want to really pamper yourself. By having an expert use their skills to soothe your body and put your mind at ease you can get the best of both worlds. Ideal if you want to feel refreshed the moment you wake up the next morning. It’s also a great way to spend some time with the best friend you’ve been meaning to catch up with for ages now. Get together for some coffee beforehand, and then show each other the results of your latest beauty session. It won’t just help you love the way you look, it’ll also make you feel at home in your own skin as you centre yourself.

Take a Walk Late in the Evening

The evenings aren’t solely devoted to TV and social media if you don’t want them to be. Taking the dog for a walk as the sun goes down is a great way to let your hair down and enjoy one of the simple things in life. It’s a chance to get plenty of fresh air before bed, and the break from screens will give your eyes a chance to rest. Some people even leave their phone at home so they can totally disconnect for an hour so.

Binge Watch Your Favourite Shows

Despite what we just said in the last point, binge watching is one of the most fun ways to rest and relax. It allows you to immerse yourself in a whole new universe of entertainment, and to lose yourself in a story. If you find a series you’re hooked on, keep watching it. There’s nothing better than getting into a plot and picking out your favourite characters. Find a friend who’s watching the same show and you’ll have something to chat about when you meet up next week.

Join the Gym and Take Pride in Your Fitness

Joining the gym is a great way to restore your inner balance, and it’s easier to do than you might think. If you’re new to exercise it can feel intimidating going to a muscle bound gym, so why not go with a friend? You could avoid the peak hours straight after work, and go on the weekend morning for a little while as you build your confidence. One thing is for sure, once you start going and you see some gains, you’ll be hooked. It’ll give you confidence, balance, and something to focus on.

Start Baking Healthy Sweet Treats

Baking is a great mindful activity that will have you feeling at ease in no time at all. Pick a recipe you’ve been meaning to try, walk to the shop, and then get busy rustling up something amazing. It doesn’t even matter if you don’t nail it the first time — the key point is that you’ve got yourself moving and thinking about something new. Just by working with your hands you’ll be stimulating new parts of your brain that you don’t necessarily use during work hours.

Take your pick from the options above, think about how you can fit them into your daily routine, and then dive in feet first. It might sound easier said than done, but when you make a start you’ll find you really don’t want to stop. It’ll certainly be worth it when you wake up relaxed and refreshed every single morning.

 

About the Author:

Rebecca is a translator by day, and a traveler mostly at night. She is an expert on living with jet lag – and packing in tiny suitcases. You can read more of her exploits at RoughDraft.

5 Work/Life Balance Tips for Incredible Mompreneurs

 

Being a mom is never easy. Mom is also a nurse, a chef, and teacher. It brings immeasurable joy to the heart, but there’s no shame in admitting that sometimes things get really hard. When mom also has entrepreneurial ambitions, finding a work-life balance can be complicated because there’s her work on one side and her children on another. Add a significant other into the mix and things can get quite chaotic. Here are some tips on how to get work and life balance in order.

1.  Exercise

Sitting in the office all day can be a disaster for the back. Even if you work from home, chances are that you spend a lot of time sitting. It’s important to find some time off to work out. There are few ways to exercise: in a group, in pairs or individually. If time and money allow, go to a gym and find a personal trainer. In case that’s not possible, try working out at home or find a group of people to exercise with. Home workouts are also good since it lets you do it on your own terms.

2. Get organized

Knowing when to do something and at what time can be immensely helpful for organizing day-to-day activities. Using containers to make meals in advance and vacuum bags will help you arrange your food and clothes for the week. Learn how to multi-task efficiently. For work, using a good project management tool can significantly reduce work-related stress. There are countless other apps that can be helpful in managing professional and personal activities, and if you’re more of an old-school type, then get a quality notebook planner and keep it with you all the time.

3. Learn to relax

Doing laundry, cooking meals and reading bedtime stories is already exhausting, but when you add work deadlines and demanding clients, things get more difficult. That’s why it’s necessary to take some time off and loosen up a bit. Having a bath, reading, watching TV can be relaxing and energizing at the same time. Additionally, treating yourself for a professional massage experience can help you unwind and forget your daily worries, even only for a bit. Mental well-being is crucial to stay focused and thrive. Being alone can be beneficial for recollecting thoughts and decompressing. Also, having regular date nights with your spouse can help you two reconnect and add some zest to your marriage.

4. Know when to say no

Being a mompreneur can be very empowering, however, shuffling work duties, money management, family responsibilities, and personal care can put you under significant strain, but it can be done as long as there are set boundaries. Especially if you’re the type everyone relies on. Being needed can be stimulating sometimes, but one must learn how to say no. Prioritizing tasks is what separates successful people from those who do everything for everybody. Remember that your family and your health should always come first. Everything else is less important.

5. Ask for help

Having a great career or a business of your own is a notable achievement by itself. Adding a family to the mix can make things complete. But no matter how hard-working you are, there are times when you’ll feel tired. That’s fine and shouldn’t be treated as a failure. We all need a hand sometimes, even the mompreneurs. Asking for help is not something to be embarrassed about. Relying on your partner is much better and can help bring the family together. Also, being in touch with other mompreneurs can significantly help you learn and find support when you need it the most. After all, people who are similar to you can also understand you better and empathize with you on a deeper level.

 

Just remember that being a superwoman doesn’t mean doing everything by yourself. Asking for help is crucial if you want to thrive in all aspects of your life.

 

Written by: Sophia Smith

Sophia Smith is a beauty blogger, eco-lifestyle lover, graphic designer and food enthusiast.  She is focusing on minimalism and good quality. Her other hobbies center around her love for nature, well-being and living in balance. Sophia writes mostly about beauty-related topics in her blogs and articles. She has contributed to a number of publications including: Life Goals Mag, Savant Magazine, Secret Garden, Bonvita Style, Cause Artist and Book Meditation Retreats.
You can find out more about her writing by following her on:  Facebook  Twitter  Google +

3 Ways to Do Meditation: When You Feel Stress

 

Are you someone who feels stressed out a lot? Then you are not alone. The world is a stressful place, and it can often have a major impact on the way that we live our lives. We often find that our lives are pressure-filled and stressful to the point where it can make it quite hard for us to do things as we would normally have intended.

When you feel stressed, though, you can find it hard to get a solution. Some of us put our stress down to our diets and lifestyles, so we change how we eat and drink. We do what we can to stay hydrated, and we stop eating so many foods high in fats, sugars, and salts. However, when you feel like you aren’t making any progress through conventional lifestyle means, you might want to take a look at getting into a bout of meditation.

One of the main issues that we find with meditation is that many people do not appreciate just how powerful it is as a source of mental wellness. Our mind is often the biggest barrier that we need to overcome if we wish to live our happiest, healthiest quality of life. Mediation has been shown to have a serious impact on that: the bottom line is that meditation is great for both physical and mental rejuvenation.

Sound like a common problem? Then you should definitely look to the following three ways to do meditation. Alongside making other lifestyle changes like staying hydrated, cutting down on work hours, and being more productive in the hours we do work, the following forms of meditation are almost certain to help you live your happiest, healthiest life.

So, what matters when you wish to take on meditation? How can various forms of meditation help with stress?

1. Focus with Concentrative Meditation

Probably the best form of meditation to start with when you just need to find a focus is to start with some concentrative meditation. This means taking a single object, sound, mantra, whatever, and focusing on that entirely. Turning your thoughts to that entirely.

For example, do you have holiday time coming up and you know you just need to get through the next 2-3 weeks to get there? Then focus your mind on the beach where you are going to be staying. Think about the location, the sights, the sounds, the soothing of the sand on your skin. It gives you an immense sense of focus when you have something so specific to concentrate on.

A bit of focus and visualization can go a long, long way to making sure you can stay entirely focused on the task and journey at hand. Get used to doing that, and before long you will be in a much better place with regards to the quality and intensity of your ability to remain focused on the task at hand.

2. Rhythmic Movement and Mindful Exercise

Another good place to start with meditation is with some exercise mixed in with the meditation itself. While most of us don’t imagine going for a run, a swim, or a cycling session can be particularly calming for the mind, it can be very good for us in some ways. We recommend that you find an exercise that you can do with repetition: for example, riding a bicycle on a stationary surface will ensure that you can rest, relax, and get into your own frame of thinking whilst working the body at the same time.

Like many of us, though, you might find that you try to problem solve when you are working out. Instead, let yourself enjoy the repetition of the physical movement whilst letting your mind get a bit of a rest as well. Instead of thinking about what you will do in work tomorrow, think about all the things happening around you. Think about the feeling of your feet on the pedals, the picking up of the pace of your breathing, the way that your body adjusts and adapts to match and re-balance yourself.

Exercise becomes more soothing when we just let ourselves think of the feelings that the exercise creates in the first place. When you try to exercise and do a bit of life organizing all at once, you will be very much likely to find it hard to make enough of a difference. Instead, concentrate on the repetitive movement and the feelings those movements create nothing else. Before long, your workouts will produce both mental relaxation and physical improvement!

3. Muscle Relaxation

Lastly, one of the best ways to use meditation is to help make your muscles feel a bit more relaxed. Do you ever feel as if all of your muscles are tight and tense? That you cannot get any kind of relaxation in the arms and legs? Then you should look to try out using mediation to help with this. To do so, start working on each of the muscles that you feel needs help by simply tensing them up.

Honestly, just try it! Tensing up a muscle – holding it as tense as you can, while taking in slow, deep breaths – is excellent for then relaxing the muscle. Our body will start to immediately let a tense muscle relax, and you will feel an immediate sense of relief and comfort as soon as you do so.

By simply relaxing the muscles after tensing them up until the count of 10, you can start to feel a sense of total relief in a previously distressed muscle. Do this with one foot, then the other, then move up the body until you have tensed just about every muscle group that you can.

 

About the Author:

Jessica Max is the community manager at hydration calculator. She is a fitness writer. She uses her training to help other women struggling to get fit in mid-life. When not working, Jessica enjoys cycling and swimming.

 

 

Why You Should Consider Yoga and Meditation

 

It is estimated that one in five adults will experience a mental illness in any given year with anxiety disorders as the leading cause. Mental illness is recognized when an individual shows ongoing signs and symptoms of stress that affect their ability to function. Mental illness may impact a person’s mood, behavior, and capacity to think or concentrate.

While those suffering from mental illness may feel alone, lost, or incapacitated, research has shown that along with diet and exercise, mindfulness practices such as yoga and meditation can offer amazing benefits that may help some to reduce and/or manage symptoms of mental illness.

Benefits of Yoga

Yoga is one of the oldest body-and-mind practices in the world dating back nearly 5,000 years. Through the use of body positions and postures, breathing techniques, and mindful meditation, yoga provides several benefits to help manage your mental illness. Here are three.

Improves Heart Rate Variability

Heart Rate variability is based on how your heart rate varies when you inhale and exhale. A higher variability is an indicator of physical and mental resilience. Studies show that practicing yoga for as little as six weeks shows an improved heart rate variability as well as a lower resting heart rate; two indicators of a strong stress-response.

Cultivates Positive Thinking

Mental illness is often identified by chronic or frequent bouts of sadness, emptiness, and irritability that impacts a person’s ability to function. Studies have shown that the physical and mindfulness of yoga actually changes the long-term effects of how your brain responds to depression, in some ways acting as a natural antidepressant.

Creates Better Understanding of Self

The mindfulness and mental development promoted by yoga helps a person realize “shadow” qualities they did not know they possessed. Whether those qualities are empathy toward others, confidence, the ability to overcome obstacles, or greater control over mind and body, yoga can open profound possibility.

 

Benefits of Meditation

Meditation is the practice of achieving mental clarity and emotional calm through mindfulness and awareness techniques. The goal of meditation is to bring a person into the “now” while putting aside the stressors brought on by overthinking the past and future. Here are three ways meditation can benefit mental illness.

Improves Sleep

Insomnia is a leading cause of mental illness causing a disruption in your circadian rhythm and sleep patterns. Meditation helps to reduce insomnia and improve sleep quality by focusing your mind on the now rather than the past which cannot be changed and the future which is unpredictable. This awareness helps to place perspective on your surroundings and ease your mind of daily stress leading to a sounder sleep.

Reduces the Chemical Cytokines

Cytokines are inflammatory chemicals that your body releases in response to stress. They can have a negative impact on your mood and emotions. In fact, one scientific-based study on meditation showed significant measurable signs of positive thinking and optimism.

Can Control Pain

How you perceive pain has a direct connection to your state of mind. For people who experience mental illness, their perception of pain can be elevated while experiencing stressful conditions. Meditation has been shown to increase brain activity in areas that control pain. In fact, meditation is used to manage chronic pain for people with terminal illnesses such as cancer.

Yoga and meditation whether practiced independently or symbiotically have been shown to improve the negative effects of mental illness by creating mental and physical awareness, improving sleep, and directly impacting your body’s chemical imbalances to create a positive mental state of being. So, if you’re looking for a mindful way to manage mental illness, ten minutes of yoga or meditation is a great start.

 

About the Author:  Laurie is a writer based on the east coast who enjoys spending her days writing on health and wellness topics. In her free time, she loves doing anything that gets her outdoors breathing fresh air.

 

 

 

 

 

5 Mindfulness Practices from Powerful Women

 

Being stress-free in the 21stcentury is not all that easy. The pressure from work, family, exercise, studying and leaving some time to hang out with friends can be quite overwhelming. Our mind is constantly working, it has no pause, and the worst thing is that it is always creating different scenarios, making us feel anxious and depressed. It all sounds so negative and scary but with some tips on mindfulness, you can be one step closer to living a better life. 

There is a big difference between being lonely and alone

Loneliness is the number one reason behind depression, according to many people. Not having somebody to share your troubles with or simply talk can severely damage even our brain function in addition to making us depressed. However, keep in mind that being alone doesn’t necessarily mean you are lonely. In fact, research shows that it is good for us to spend some time alone. The philosophy behind this is that we will get to know ourselves better. We will be in touch with our needs and wishes. When It comes to relationships, we will be sure that we are a part of it because we want to be, not because we are lonely and in need of a companion. It might sound cheesy, but get to know and love yourself first, only then will you be able to have meaningful connections.

Don’t be too hard on yourself

Self-criticism can be a good thing if used correctly. You should look at everything you do objectively and you shouldn’t praise yourself if you have done something wrong. But there is a line that has to be drawn somewhere. A line where you will stop with negative thoughts and turn more towards self-support. Whatever the reason may be: you haven’t accomplished something you wanted to by a certain age or you feel like a failure in some way, always keep in mind that there is time. So, give it some time, pick yourself up, and start from where you left off. Simply by trying you will feel much better.

Overthinking is our biggest enemy

Rationalizing your problems, tasks, and everyday life is very effective. Thinking ahead also. However, overthinking is something you should step away from. By doing that we are creating additional problems that we don’t already have. As opposed to doing this, stay in the present. Think about what your current situation is, and, to put it simply, go with the flow. Learn to resolve your problems once they really do become a problem, not in advance. Take some burden off yourself and enjoy life day by day.

Pampering yourself is not a luxury

A connection exists between your mind and body, even scientists think so. Before thinking about taking care of your body, make some time for your mind as well. Simple things are quite effective, like reading a book, decorating, listening to music or being with people who inspire you. Once we have settled this, the body will follow, although it wouldn’t hurt to help a bit. Even if you think that you are indulging way too much if you book a spa treatment or get a manicure, the truth is that sometimes this kind of spoiling is exactly what you need.

In addition to being in touch with your nature and character, it is important to take care of your physical appearance in order to feel good. It doesn’t need to be anything luxurious as long as it is within natural product lines. Even better, something like cruelty free makeup lets you take care of your appearance while still feeling good about the products you use. And don’t worry, because there is a big market to choose from.  

Breathing exercises and mediation

If you are into meditation or yoga, practicing it is most certainly beneficial for both your physical and mental health. But don’t get too caught up in the traditional meaning of meditation. If you like lying on the bedroom floor and listening to music or cleaning to help with anxiety, then, by all means, do it. It can be your own version of mediation. The form is not important as long as it makes you feel better.

The whole concept of mindfulness is not to suppress our thoughts, but to enjoy experiences in life without overthinking.

 

Written by: Sophia Smith

Sophia Smith is a beauty blogger, eco-lifestyle lover, graphic designer and food enthusiast.  She is focusing on minimalism and good quality. Her other hobbies center around her love for nature, well-being and living in balance. Sophia writes mostly about beauty-related topics in her blogs and articles. She has contributed to a number of publications including: Life Goals Mag, Savant Magazine, Secret Garden, Bonvita Style, Cause Artist and Book Meditation Retreats.
You can find out more about her writing by following her on:  Facebook  Twitter  Google +

5 Tips to Feel More Grateful and Blissful

 

No one is immune to the stress of everyday life. The grind we face at work, the conflicts we encounter (and often cause) in personal relationships, the dissatisfaction with our selfhood – it all plays havoc with how aware we are of the true beauty that life holds. We miss the grateful smile of a waiter whom you tipped, the elderly couple celebrating their half-a-century of togetherness, and we’re blind to the beauty of an urban sunset, too busy rushing to catch our bus.

While it’s true that all of your troubles and their gravity can cause you emotional turmoil, we all have the ability and numerous opportunities every day to become more open to the wonders of life and feel genuinely grateful for them. It’s like finding your little safe haven of bliss in the eye of a storm: and here are the five ways to become more attuned to your inner child, one amazed and grateful for life even amidst chaos.

Find your words

Our mind is shaped by the words we use to describe ourselves. When you find yourself feeling guilty over a mistake you’ve made, you further exasperate the emotion and hurt your self-perception by “rubbing it in” with harsh language and self-deprecating thoughts. It becomes automatic, so we curse and complain and punish ourselves for the smallest of failings, no matter how human they are. We set impossible standards and expectations. And we always focus on our shortcomings, even when we do succeed.

Being more grateful should start within, by choosing a different language to describe yourself and your accomplishments. Would you ever use those stern words to comfort your friend for their recent failure? You wouldn’t even use the word failure in all likelihood. Start writing your words down, and start reshaping your self-descriptions with more love and more encouragement. It will ultimately help you perceive yourself as the worthy, imperfect, incredible person that you are. 

Nurture your closest bonds

As our lives develop, we spend so much of our time on distractions rather than our life’s substance and its deepest meaning. We’ll spend more time scrolling our Facebook feed than talking to our loved ones, or watching TV instead of visiting our family. Our parents are perfect examples of this digital abyss we’ve fallen into: they have helped us build our independence, and now we find ourselves mesmerized by the irrelevant, too busy to express our gratitude for such unspoken gifts.

While it’s true that holidays shouldn’t be the only time to show our gratitude for our family members, if you take the time to peruse through Mother’s Day gifts in order to find the perfect one for your mom, you’ll let your actions speak for you to express your gratitude. When it’s evident from the gift itself that you haven’t treated it as another chore, but as an opportunity to express your love, your family will know and appreciate the gesture. Remember, every day is Mother’s Day. So perhaps while we wait for May 12th, a phone call is in order?

Take a deep breath

The fact that some things go without saying, such as your mom’s love and affection, does not mean that we should take them for granted. Breathing, for instance, is a perfect example of something we take for granted that has an incredible ability to heal us. One of the best ways to nurture your mindfulness every day is to include breathing exercises paired with affirmations.

They will not only help you soothe your anxieties in the moment of practice, but they’ll also help you become more mindful of your every moment of every day. You’ll start noticing your stress triggers and you’ll have better control of your experience, you’ll learn how to let go of resentment and focus on the present moment.

Forgive yourself as well as others

While we’re on the topic of resentment, we spend too much of our time stressing over what we’ve done wrong or what was done to us in the past. The simple truth is that the only way you’ll ever have the chance to enjoy your present is if you let go of the past – it has already shaped you to an extent, we all have moments we regret, but they needn’t taint our present and our future as well.

Forgiveness is the only vessel we need to give ourselves a chance to fully enjoy our present, and the only vessel we need in order to outgrow our past self. If you let anger or regret permeate your entire life, you relinquish control to those negative emotions and the events that have caused them – forgiveness means taking back control over your life.

Make a difference

Finally, sometimes we need and should get a different perspective in order to fully grasp the value of our lives. Ask what you can do for others, how you can make a difference for others, and let your ego deflate a little bit – you and I are not the only creatures that matter in this universe. If you can do something to help others, whether it’s helping your elderly neighbor clean their garden or donate your clothes to those in need, you’ll quickly contribute to a valuable cause and give yourself a new vantage point, one of appreciation.

 

Life is indeed too short to spend it on resentments. Use these simple tips to help yourself feel more grateful, and you’ll unleash an avalanche of bliss into your life, no matter how many hardships you face in the future.

 

Written by: Sophia Smith

Sophia Smith is a beauty blogger, eco-lifestyle lover, graphic designer and food enthusiast.  She is focusing on minimalism and good quality. Her other hobbies center around her love for nature, well-being and living in balance. Sophia writes mostly about beauty-related topics in her blogs and articles. She has contributed to a number of publications including: Life Goals Mag, Savant Magazine, Secret Garden, Bonvita Style, Cause Artist and Book Meditation Retreats.
You can find out more about her writing by following her on:  Facebook  Twitter  Google +

Let us help you find your perfect match.

General Contact
Will you be submitting your receipts to your extended health benefits or insurance provider?