Getting to know Sheila & Acceptance and Commitment Therapy 16 February 2022 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Communication, Events, Individual Therapy, Inspiration, Relationship Therapy, Self Care, Therapy, Uncategorised, Workshops Sheila McDonough is one of our very own therapists at Bliss Counselling + Psychotherapy!. Sheila earned her undergraduate degree with a Major in Social Development Studies and a Certificate in Social Work from Renison University College at the University of Waterloo. Sheila is a Master of Social Work with a Degree from Wilfrid Laurier University in the individual, couple and family stream. Sheila specializes in individuals and relationships and is a Registered Social Worker and a member in good standing with the Ontario College of Social Worker and Social Service Workers and the Ontario Association of Social Workers. Where it all started: In her early 20s Sheila experienced delayed grief, which led her to engage in psychotherapy. Through this experience Sheila realized the value of psychotherapy. Following this experience, Sheila began her journey to become a psychotherapist. Sheila had been working in marketing and sales. Sheila realized her natural skills and talents were useful in developing the therapeutic alliance which is the curative factor in psychotherapy and in all helping professions. This shift in career focus has led Sheila to a very meaningful and satisfying career. She feels very honoured to walk with people as they reflect and work towards making meaningful changes in their lives. Sheila has worked as a Registered Social Worker for the past 15 years primarily in the areas of trauma and mental health. In those 15 years, Sheila has spent more than 10 years in a hospital setting providing outpatient mental health services, emergency mental health services and acute trauma treatment in the areas of sexual assault and domestic violence. In the last 2 years, Sheila has really enjoyed working more with couples. She loves helping couples improve their communication and create more loving and meaningful relationships. Sheila aims to hold each person in esteem, while challenging them to look at how they can change to improve the quality of their relationship. Sheila’s primary approach to working with individuals and couples focuses heavily on incorporating mindfulness. Sheila has studied and practiced mindfulness for more than 25 years. It is the cornerstone of the therapeutic approaches Sheila uses in her therapy sessions. Sheila is a lifelong learner and has postgraduate training in the areas of mindfulness, DBT (Dialectical Behavioural Therapy) and ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy). Sheila believes present moment awareness is essential to making meaningful changes in our lives. Sheila uses an eclectic approach in therapy. This is why she values the ACT model. ACT embodies the main elements Sheila uses in her sessions (i.e. mindfulness, DBT, and compassion). ACT provides a framework to help people ground themselves and increase psychological flexibility. The approach allows a person to recognize a choice point to work towards meaningful change in their life. What is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: ACT helps people open up and respond more effectively to difficult emotions and thoughts. ACT helps a person to recognize their personal values and to move toward more value based behaviours. When using ACT a client will be able to see how small subtle challenges in life can be traced to a conflict in their own value system. This increased awareness then helps the client with unhooking themselves from the negative cycle so that they may move toward who and what is important to them. Sheila loves the following quote and feels it embodies the essence of the ACT model: “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” – Viktor E. Frankl We wanted to unpack the positive impacts of using ACT as an effective and evidence-based approach to therapy, so we interviewed Sheila to learn more. Here’s what she shared: How is ACT used in a therapy session? People will often want to get rid of unwanted thoughts and emotions. But, that’s not entirely possible. Instead, in an ACT session, clients are encouraged to accept these unwanted thoughts and behaviours, to cultivate present moment awareness, to learn how to recognize cognitive distortions and work towards value based and committed actions. How many sessions will it take to notice a positive change? The number of sessions will depend on each individual. Typically clients benefit from 6-8 sessions. Some clients may wish to pursue while others may wish to receive ongoing sessions (16-24), over several months or years. Some clients will attend a few sessions, then return in the future to explore their life in greater depth. Who would benefit from ACT? People with a wide range of challenges may benefit from ACT treatment (i.e. depression, anxiety, Borderline Personality, post traumatic stress symptoms stress, substance use and chronic pain) How might ACT be incorporated into a person’s life outside of the session? Clients learn how to ground themselves, to become an observer of their thoughts and feelings and how to work on committed action so that they may move toward who and what is important to them. Goals are set at the end of each individual or group session. Does ACT sound like an approach that you might like to explore? Look no further. Find out how to join our upcoming ACT Group Therapy! Sheila McDonough (MSW, RSW) and fellow Bliss expert Valentina Messier (RP,) are hosting an upcoming Acceptance and Commitment Therapy workshop series. This workshop series will be held virtually from the comfort of your home via Zoom. Heal through the power of connection in a small group setting! Prepare yourself to engage in group activities and discussions for 120 minutes, once a week for five weeks starting Saturday, March 26th and ending April 30th (excluding Easter weekend Saturday, April 16th). Are you ready to join Bliss Counselling + Psychotherapy’s 5- week virtual ACT workshop? Click here to take the next step in securing a spot in this upcoming group or to be added to the waitlist for future groups. Written By: Sheila McDonough (MSW, RSW) Edited By: Candice Mason (Customer Care Specialist) & Jess Boule (Clinic Manager)
Getting to know Valentina and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy 23 December 2021 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Communication, Events, Inspiration, Self Care, Therapy, Workshops WHO IS VALENTINA: Valentina is one of our very own therapists at Bliss Counselling + Psychotherapy practicing individual therapy. For as long as Valentina can remember, people have felt comfortable opening up to her. She has frequently had strangers join her while sitting on a park bench or at a coffee shop. Valentina feels a sense of value in being able to give others a safe space to listen and to understand them and their story. One day, Valentina connected with a person experiencing Schizophrenia, who shared more with her about their life and the challenges they had been facing. This conversation sparked a curiosity within Valentina that led her to pursue Psychology as her major. Her curiosity to truly see, understand, and accept people as they are, continued to grow and ultimately, lended to her pursuit of a career in Psychotherapy. Valentina obtained her undergraduate and graduate degrees in the United States, at Marquette University and Cardinal Stritch University, respectively. In addition to being a Psychotherapist in Ontario, Canada, Valentina holds a License of Professional Counselling in the state of Wisconsin. During her Clinical Psychology Master’s program, Valentina co-facilitated a Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) group at Aurora Psychiatric Hospital in Wisconsin. This experience further stoked her interest in mindfulness and radical acceptance. She felt motivated to approach those around her with a sense of compassion in order to validate lived experiences and to support them in identifying their own strengths. After graduate school, Valentina began working with marginalized populations in Milwaukee, WI. As part of an interdisciplinary team piloting the CORE (Coordinated Opportunities for Recovery and Empowerment) Program, she actively supported those living with psychosis with the goal to improve the quality of their lives. Through a coordinated effort, Valentina was able to help foster independence for many young adults facing Schizophrenia. She and her colleagues approached hallucinations and delusions with acceptance, rather than dismissal or disapproval. With compassion, Valentina and her team validated their clients’ realities. She offered psychoeducation for families, created strength-based treatment and crisis plans, which incorporated both formal and informal support systems and strategies. Valentina hosted monthly meetings for each client and their circle of care, utilizing open communication and problem solving across the health care team to ensure that the client was well supported, and that ultimately their needs were prioritized. After a move to Canada, Valentina began providing psychotherapy online. It was during this time that she first heard of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Not knowing what it was, Valentina chose to dive into courses and literature. WHAT IS ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is an evidence-based approach to therapy that uses Mindfulness to build awareness of our thoughts, emotions, and behaviours. With this awareness, we are able to observe patterns in our behaviours and thoughts. This then gives us the information we need in order to reflect on whether how we are operating in the world is meaningful and working for us, as well as how we might be able to add value to our lives. Rather than reviewing the content of our thoughts and feelings, we analyze their usefulness. For example, we may encounter a situation where we think, “I’m not good enough.” Instead of asking ourselves, is this thought accurate, ACT encourages us to ask ourselves: Am I placing my focus on one particular thought and is this helping me in some way? By placing my focus on this particular thought, is it bringing me closer to who I want to be? Are my patterns of thoughts and behaviours working for me? Certain therapeutic approaches, such as Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT), ask us to seek out evidence for why we ARE good enough, that is, to consider alternative examples that could counter the negative thought pattern. For some, this is really effective. But, sometimes, there is no amount of evidence that can truly convince us that we are indeed good enough. This is why Valentina loves ACT; it looks at the function of thoughts and feelings rather than their accuracy. When we think, “I’m not good enough,” and then ask ourselves how that thought pattern is working for us, it’s easy to see that it isn’t. Our minds generally want to protect us from pain. Unfortunately, thoughts and feelings are often out of our control; there is no “Delete” button in the brain to get rid of them for good. So while it is important to acknowledge unwanted thoughts and feelings, expending too much of our energy analysing them will not actually change our lives for the better. Ultimately, we may not feel closer to achieving our goals or the life we want, so what could we do instead? Build self-awareness. When we are self-aware, we are able to acknowledge that something is not working. When we realize that something is not working, we can then begin letting go of the unhelpful thoughts and feelings that hook our attention. Mindfulness is incredibly useful for “unhooking” these thoughts. Not only does it bring us into the present moment, but it reminds us that we are not defined by our thinking or our emotions. We are simply observers of our experience. Through Mindfulness, we build flexible attention and foster acceptance of our experience. This approach is liberating and compassionate, it acknowledges and validates the painful experiences in our lives while at the same time giving us our power back. While it is natural for us to allow emotions to dictate our actions, we do not have to let them dominate our lives. Whether in the therapy room, or outside of it, we can approach life through this framework. We can practice mindful awareness in any setting and reflect on our values. The therapy room provides a safe, nonjudgmental space to open up about the painful experiences we encounter. As a Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) with almost a decade of experience and a fellow human, Valentina acknowledges everyone’s emotions as valid and offers understanding and compassionate support. We collaborate as a team to help take steps towards changing life for the better. Change can be intimidating, by having someone along for the journey, to offer encouragement, guidance and reminders of your strengths, can be incredibly helpful. Does ACT sound like an approach that you might like to explore? Then, join Valentina Messier (RP, Qualifying) and fellow Bliss expert Sheila McDonough (MSW, RSW) in our upcoming ACT Now For A New You In 2022 group workshop. The workshop will be held virtually from the comfort of your home via Zoom. Heal through the power of connections with up to ten other like minded individuals! Prepare yourself to engage in group discussions for 90 minutes, once a week for five weeks starting Saturday January 15th and ending February 12th. We’ve got all the information we need, we are interested so just click here to make the next step to booking into our group. Who is ready to join Bliss Counselling + Psychotherapy’s 5- week virtual ACT workshop? All the information is outlined and the interest has been sparked! Just click here to take the next step in securing a spot within the group. Written By: Valentina Messier Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) & Candice Mason, Client Services
Revolution from the Couch: Integrating Social Justice into Therapy Practices 19 October 2021 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Individual Therapy, Inspiration, Relationship Therapy, Relationships, Therapy, Uncategorised Therapy is envisioned as a safe, unbiased space. In the therapy office, clients are free to explore their past and future, free from judgement or contempt. Clients expect their therapists to provide impartial, supportive advice, without fear that their therapist will discriminate against them in any form. This is an important cornerstone of the practice of therapy. However, this concept can also be misconstrued to mean that therapy is an apolitical practice. Therapists are thought of as neutral actors, who remove themselves from politics in the therapy room. While this may be the case for some therapists, therapy as a whole is deeply involved in politics and social justice advocacy. Many of the early developers of therapy as we know it were involved in politics and justice, such as those involved in the settlement housing movement. Therapists today deal with oppressive structures first hand – either through themselves or through their clients. This is not to say that therapy has always been on the side of social justice. Practices like conversion therapy have caused damage to LGBTQ+ folks, setting back progress decades. So, how are therapy and social justice intertwined? Can therapy truly be apolitical, or is neutrality no longer an option? And how can therapists use their practice to further social justice, while honouring the needs of their clients? De-Centre the Self, Understand the Structure It is a well-known fact among clinicians that poverty is linked with higher rates of depression and other mental illnesses. Those with mental illness can face barriers in education and employment that can push them into poverty; while those living in chronic poverty are more likely to develop a mental illness. A lack of access to resources and support can worsen mental health outcomes for those living in poverty. Oppression also contributes to mental health conditions. Experiencing racism, for example, increases stress and affects mental health conditions such as PTSD, depression, and anxiety. Even just the fear of racism can heighten stress levels, according to multiple studies. So where do therapists fit in? Therapy is often recommended as the first line of treatment for mental health conditions like depression and anxiety. Therapy often focuses on an exploration of the self to facilitate healing. However, for those who are oppressed, discriminated against, or living in adverse conditions, healing may be inhibited by structural issues like poverty. Without an acknowledgement or understanding of how certain conditions or societal issues can impact mental health, therapy cannot be truly effective. If a therapist is unfamiliar with issues such as poverty, racism, dis/ableism, sexism, or capitalism, it is encouraged that they do research to understand the realities of these issues. Many clients who take part in therapy will have first hand experience with these issues, and may require support in that area. Therapist practices can offer support groups directly related to structural issues such as racism or poverty, to ensure that the needs of their clientele are being met. They can also host workshops for their therapists to fill in gaps in knowledge. Support Marginalized Voices, Professionally and Individually Another way therapy practices can pave the way for social change is by opening up opportunities for marginalized folks. Marginalized groups face barriers accessing care, often due to cost or proximity. Providing sliding scales is one way therapists can make space for marginalized folks. Accessibility is key to providing holistic care. There are many barriers to therapy – financial, physical, or logistical. Sliding scales and accessible features are one way practices can make their care more accessible. Hiring therapists who speak other languages can also provide a wider scope of care, as mental health care is in high demand for non-English speakers. Marginalized individuals also face barriers to employment; hence, making the active choice to hire individuals from marginalized backgrounds is a concrete way to affect change. Marginalized voices have historically been excluded from health discourse, but they are essential for providing comprehensive care. Many employers create a statement to hire BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and People of Colour) clinicians, which – when committed to – can make a difference in increasing diversity. Uplifting marginalized voices is also key within the therapy room. A principal concept of client-centred care is that humans are autonomous and have the right to determine their own path. This ensures that recovery in the therapy room is partly, or completely directed by the client, so that they can meet their needs. For marginalized folks, this may be difficult, as biases or blindspots in the therapist may impede their ability to self-direct. Non-BIPOC therapists must be mindful and allow clients to describe their experience of oppression in their own words. Their job is not to minimize oppression, but to understand it and help the client move towards healing. Giving marginalized voices a microphone, both in their healing and in their professional journey, contributes to the fight for social justice. It is just as important to listen to marginalized voices, as it is to speak up on their behalf. Go Beyond the Couch Care is not just about the individual, but also about the community. As we have discussed, many of the issues facing clients are structural – income inequality, discrimination, lack of affordable housing, etc. Some of these issues can’t be addressed in a therapy office, and must be taken to the streets. Some folks feel they cannot contribute to social change because they do not possess the required skills. The truth is that there are many ways to contribute to social justice. Perhaps you show up through protest or sign making; perhaps you write letters to political leaders or write social policy; perhaps you sell your crafts to fundraise for an issue close to your heart; or perhaps you provide home-cooked meals for those in need. Regardless, there are infinite ways to contribute to social change – and infinite reasons why. If you are a therapist, consider participating in community organizing. You will have a good idea of what issues are close to your clients’ hearts. Is it housing issues? Poverty? Hunger? Once you know, see how you can contribute to changing these issues. Showing up for your clients outside of the office is just as important as showing up for them in session. Justice = Mental Health Care Therapy is as much about changing an individual’s life as it is about changing the world. After all, creating self-reflexive, eternally curious individuals impacts the world in a positive way. However, therapists must go beyond the couch to provide authentic, socially just care. Show up for marginalized folks, professionally and individually. Uplift marginalized voices in your own life, in your community, and in your practice. Above all, keep in mind that social justice is more than a political movement; it is mental health care. Links: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/effects-of-racism#adults https://ontario.cmha.ca/documents/poverty-and-mental-illness/ https://www.counseling.org/docs/default-source/Government-Affairs/why_social_justice_is_a_counseling_concern-1.pdf?sfvrsn=2 https://www.utpjournals.press/doi/abs/10.3138/CHR.82.1.55 Written by: Catiyana Adam Catiyana, a music enthusiast, and avid writer. She has a keen interest in mental health, illness, and treatment, and is aspiring to be a therapist. Catiyana graduated from McMaster University in 2021 with a Honours Bachelor of Arts in Sociology. She focused on courses in health and illness, as well as families and feminist studies. She hopes to pursue a Master of Social Work at Wilfrid Laurier University next year.
You are Getting Very… Misinformed? The Truth About Clinical Hypnotherapy 27 August 2021 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Book Recommendations, Communication, Events, Grief, Individual Therapy, Inspiration, Life Coaching, Self Care, Therapy In your classic portrayal of hypnosis, you might find yourself staring intently at a swinging pendulum, and listening to a series of repetitive phrases until you are lulled into a state of suggestibility. In this state, a hypnotist could make you sing opera or cluck like a chicken. This isn’t a new idea – hypnotherapy has a long history of being falsely represented as a form of mind control. Clinical hypnotherapy, however, is quite different. Clinical hypnotherapists use hypnosis as a therapeutic tool. Hypnosis, a state of deep relaxation and heightened awareness, opens up the unconscious mind to suggestions. Unlike pop culture hypnosis portrayals, in clinical hypnotherapy, the client is always in control. The client’s brain is just more receptive to imagery, creativity, and new ideas. Clinical hypnotherapy can be a valuable tool for breaking habits, promoting relaxation, and even relieving pain. Hypnotherapy has a long history, and in the 1960s, it gained medical recognition as a legitimate form of treatment. Hypnotherapy is currently not regulated by a medical board, but most clinical hypnotherapists are well-trained and hold Master’s degrees or higher. I sat down with one of our practicing hypnotherapists, Stacey Fernandes (she/her/hers), who discussed with me the roots of clinical hypnotherapy, its applications, and misconceptions. What is Clinical Hypnotherapy? Like all legitimate therapeutic approaches, clinical hypnotherapy is grounded in scientific research. Clinical hypnotherapy has been proven to improve anxiety and depression, with or without adjunct treatment. It is thought to be most effective when combined with other talk therapy approaches such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). Hypnotherapy can be used in an individual or group setting. In both settings, hypnotherapy can be used to gain insight into one’s life, habits, and values. When hypnotherapy is done in an individual session, it is more tailored to the client, and parts can even be recorded and played back after the session is over. Often, participants in hypnotherapy groups will pursue individual hypnotherapy later. The typical trope of a client getting very sleepy before slipping into a trance is misguided and misinformed. In fact, Stacey notes that clients often feel re-energized following a session. Depending on the goals of the client, a clinical hypnotherapist can tailor the session to renew energy or restore peace. Each clinical hypnotherapist has their own style. Stacey shares that her own is very imagery- and nature-based, often involving meditations of forests, hammocks, or beaches. Some clinical hypnotherapists have more colour-based hypnotic scripts. Each hypnotic script is designed to evoke a feeling, action, or emotion. How Does One Become a Clinical Hypnotherapist? Stacey obtained her Master of Social Work degree before furthering her education as a hypnotherapist. It was through her college that she learned of a hypnotherapy training course in Costa Rica. The course was centred around “Breaking the Worry Trance” and was revelatory for Stacey. It was imagery-based, and has since informed Stacey’s own practice. To become a clinical hypnotherapist, Stacey did over one hundred hours of clinical training in Ericksonian hypnotherapy. Ericksonian hypnotherapy uses techniques such as metaphor and imagery to alter behavioural patterns. There are other types of hypnotherapy, which combine other therapeutic approaches, such as psychoanalysis or solution-focused therapy. How Does Clinical Hypnotherapy Work? Clinical hypnotherapy taps into our subconscious mind, moving us away from our analytical brain and into our receptive, creative mind. Often, our brain can meet new ideas with resistance or skepticism. Clinical hypnotherapists ask us not to ignore or avoid these feelings, rather to observe and normalize them. Stacey borrowed a metaphor from renowned hypnotherapist, Grace Smith, to describe how hypnotherapy works: “Picture a bouncer (conscious mind) at a nightclub (subconscious mind). Inside the club all the people are smoking cigarettes and a non smoker approaches the bouncer stating ‘I can help, I’ve read lots of books on wealth.’ The bouncer denies the request because they are unfamiliar, despite this person being safe and offering valuable information. Everyone in the club is very familiar with each other despite it being an unhealthy behaviour. Anything new gets blocked. The non smoker tries to tip the bouncer $100 and gets into the club. The person interacts with everyone by speaking on the microphone and engaging them to drink water instead and providing the benefits of hydration. Eventually everyone starts drinking water and feeling much healthier. Now if a person who smoked tried to get into the club the bouncer would deny them – they are unfamiliar!” This helpful metaphor illustrates how clinical hypnotherapy can be helpful for opening up and expanding our minds. Clinical hypnotherapy can be effective where other therapeutic approaches are not, and can be used to calm and alleviate anxiety. However, it is often met with resistance due to preconceived notions as well as unconscious biases. Yet, with an open mind and commitment to heal, clinical hypnotherapy can be incredibly effective. What Should I Know Before Seeking Clinical Hypnotherapy Treatment? I asked Stacey the question, “What would you tell someone who is thinking about starting clinical hypnotherapy?” and she had some great ideas. First of all, do your research. Since clinical hypnotherapy is not regulated the same way social work and psychotherapy services are, literally anyone can claim to be a hypnotherapist. You want to seek out someone who has other credentials, such as a Master’s Degree in Social Work, or Registered Psychotherapist status. Ask questions about your potential clinical hypnotherapist’s background, training, and experience. Many training courses have a required number of hours of practicing the craft; ask if your therapist has completed these, how many, and where. Inquire about their specialties, style, and interests. Book a consultation with the clinical hypnotherapist to see if you two are a good fit. Like any therapeutic relationship, you want to ensure you have similar styles, goals, and interests. If something feels off, or you don’t feel comfortable opening up to this person, consider looking elsewhere. Remember that clinical hypnotherapy is scientifically-backed, and evidence-based. Your clinical hypnotherapist should be adequately trained and qualified. Treat this like you are finding a new healthcare provider; you want to be confident that the provider has the skills and expertise you are looking for. If you are a beginner to clinical hypnotherapy, consider looking for a practitioner trained in Ericksonian hypnotherapy; this is listed as one of the therapeutic modalities in Ontario, along with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS). This means that it is recognized as effective by the regulatory board of Ontario for psychotherapy. Most importantly, approach clinical hypnotherapy with curiosity, open-mindedness, and willingness to learn. Embrace and question your skepticism, and move towards healing with patience and wonder. Interested in partaking in clinical hypnotherapy as part of your healing journey? Bliss is offering a virtual hypnotherapy group workshop this Fall, with the aim to Re-Charge and Re-Energize after a year and a half of pandemic life. Run by Bliss therapists, Stacey and Lindsay, it is an excellent opportunity to engage in clinical hypnotherapy. Are you interested in joining the workshop? Sign up today! . Contact community@blisscounselling.ca or call us at 226-647-6000. __________ Written by: Catiyana Adam and Stacey Fernandes Catiyana is Bliss Counselling’s Office Strategist, a music enthusiast, and avid writer. She has a keen interest in mental health, illness, and treatment, and is aspiring to be a therapist. Catiyana graduated from McMaster University in 2021 with a Honours Bachelor of Arts in Sociology. She focused on courses in health and illness, as well as families and feminist studies. She hopes to pursue a Master of Social Work at Wilfrid Laurier University next year. Stacey is a Registered Social Worker, traveller, and adventurer at heart. She is dedicated to learning and advancing her knowledge through workshops, courses, and travel. Stacey uses EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing) as well as Hypnotherapy and other therapeutic methods in her sessions. She believes in communication, reflection, and slowing down.
How Cognitive and Dialectical Behavior Therapy Works in Recovery 30 July 2021 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Communication, Grief, Guest Post, Individual Therapy, Inspiration, Self Care, Students, Therapy, Uncategorised CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) and DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) are similar forms of talk therapy, also known as psychotherapy. Both forms of therapy will help you to more effectively communicate, and both forms of therapy can help you discover more about the condition you’re using psychotherapy to address. Both cognitive behavioral therapy and dialectical behavior therapy are evidence-based, meaning a battery of hard data proves the effectiveness of both forms of talk therapy. These psychotherapies are proven effective for treating: Alcohol use disorder GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) Insomnia Major depressive disorder Panic disorders Phobias PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) Substance use disorder NAMI shows that roughly 10% of adults in the US will develop a substance use disorder in any given year, with around 20% of American adults also experiencing some kind of mental health condition during that same year. Both substance use disorders and mental health disorders are commonplace, then, and they also frequently co-occur in a dual diagnosis. With both of these conditions so prevalent, drug and alcohol rehab centers use therapies like CBT and DBT in combination with medication-assisted treatment to deliver holistic treatment that’s proven effective for treating a range of conditions. CBT 101 Cognitive behavioral therapy is a highly adaptable form of therapy applicable to many conditions from depression and anxiety to substance use disorder and alcohol use disorder. Once you master the basics, you’ll feel capable of more effectively controlling your emotions and your recovery. CBT sessions are delivered individually or in a group setting as appropriate. Whether one-to-one or as part of a group, you’ll work with a therapist to explore the close and interrelated nature of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Cognitive behavioral therapy can help you view things more objectively, and you’ll also discover that you don’t need to allow how you think and feel to govern your behavior. CBT is a goal-oriented and skills-based form of therapy with a grounding on logic and reasoning. As you pursue a course of cognitive behavioral therapy, you’ll examine how your thoughts and feelings can influence your behaviors. This is especially valuable in the case of destructive or harmful behaviors. Beyond this, CBT will also help you to isolate the people, places, or things that trigger you to engage in self-defeating behaviors. Equipped with the ability to identify these triggers, you’ll then create healthier coping strategies for stressors. When triggered in a real-world situation outside the therapy session, you can implement these strategies rather than being guided by the automatic thoughts that can lead to poor behaviors if unchecked. This is perhaps the most powerful way in which CBT can minimize the chance of relapse in recovery. DBT 101 Marsha Linehan created DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) to treat patients with BPD (borderline personality disorder) when working as a psychologist at University of Washington. DBT has been used since the 1980s to treat a variety of mental health conditions, including: Bipolar disorder Depression Dual diagnosis Self-harm Substance use disorder Suicidal ideation Trauma caused by sexual assault When you engage with dialectical behavior therapy, you’ll learn to acknowledge discomfort or pain while still feeling “normal”. By equipping yourself with the skills to cope with life’s stressors, even in hostile environments, you’ll minimize your chances of engaging in negative or destructive behaviors. DBT sessions are delivered in a module-based format. You’ll empower yourself and your recovery by mastering the following techniques: Distress tolerance: DBT will teach you to better tolerate stressful situations and to more comfortably deal with volatile emotional issues without relapsing or experiencing symptoms of depression or anxiety Emotion regulation: Through DBT, you’ll gain a more thorough understanding of your emotions, and you’ll become more capable of resisting the impulsive and emotion-driven behavior you’re trying to eliminate Interpersonal effectiveness: Dialectical behavior therapy can help you to sharpen your communication skills, improving your interpersonal relationships at the same time Mindfulness: Instead of getting bogged down in the past or anxious about the future, DBT will help you to focus fully on the present with a mindfulness component to therapy applicable to many conditions How CBT and DBT Work for Recovery Your treatment provider will advise you whether CBT or DBT is most suitable for treating your condition. In the case of a personality disorder, for instance, DBT in combination with medication-assisted treatment is likely the most effective approach to treatment. Substance use disorder or alcohol use disorder, on the other hand, often respond best to treatment with cognitive behavioral therapy. The core focus of CBT is the interconnected nature of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. DBT acknowledges this interconnection, but focuses on mindfulness, acceptance, and emotion regulation. CBT is proven effective for treating: Anxiety disorder Depression Panic disorder PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) Sleep disorder DBT was created for the treatment of BPD, and is still commonly used in this area. There is also robust research on the effectiveness of DBT for treating: Anxiety disorder BPD with substance use disorder Depressive disorder Eating disorders PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) CBT vs DBT for Treating Alcohol Use Disorder and Substance Use Disorder CBT and DBT can both be effectively used to treat alcohol use disorder and substance use disorder. A simple course of CBT will help you to pinpoint your triggers for substance use. You’ll also learn to implement coping strategies that don’t involve a chemical crutch. With DBT, you’ll dive deeper, examining the core issue. The mindfulness component of DBT can help many people with substance use disorder to better navigate the emotional imbalances confronting them. DBT vs CBT for Treating Co-Occurring Disorder DBT is proven effective for treating a variety of mental health conditions, from anxiety and depression to PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) and ADHD (attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder). These mental health disorders often co-occur with alcohol use disorder and substance use disorder. When DBT is used to treat a dual diagnosis like this, you can address both issues simultaneously through this form of therapy. CBB is used even more often for the treatment of dual diagnosis, delivered in combination with medication-assisted treatment if appropriate. There is a strong empirical evidence base demonstrating the effectiveness of cognitive behavioral therapy for treating substance use disorders. CBT vs DBT for Treating Anxiety Data indicates that CBT is more effective than CBT for treating anxiety. It’s also more effective for treating depressive disorders, phobias. CBT has also been shown to alleviate the symptoms of anxiety associated with PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) and OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) in this meta-analysis of studies. CBT vs DBT for Treating Bipolar Bipolar disorder typically requires integrated treatment combining psychopharmacology with adjunctive psychotherapy. Both forms of psychotherapy are effective for treating bipolar disorder. With CBT interventions, you can manage unhelpful thought processes while establishing a relapse prevention strategy for episodes of mania and depression. With DBT interventions, you’ll learn to sharpen your focus, improve communication and social functioning, decrease negative, self-defeating behaviors, and more effectively cope with emotional pain. Final Thoughts Both CBT and DBT can be effective for treating substance use disorder, alcohol use disorder and a broad spectrum of mental health conditions. CBT can help you to recognise the triggers for poor behaviors with the aim of avoiding them, while DBT will empower you with superior emotional regulation and enhanced mindfulness. ___________________________________________ This is a guest post written by Joe Gilmore, a creator on behalf of Renaissance Recovery. Renaissance Recovery is a drug and alcohol rehab in Orange County dedicated to helping clients kick their substance abuse habit and establish long-lasting sobriety. You can view their website at the following link: https://www.renaissancerecovery.com/
Inner Balance: Time for Yourself 30 July 2019 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Fitness, Guest Post, Inspiration, Life Coaching, Self Care Finding time for yourself is something we all struggle with, but it’s essential for peace of mind and mental wellbeing. If you want to know how those zen-like friends of yours do it, all you have to do is take a look at how they spend those precious few hours of spare time they get each week. It can be tempting to just pull out Facebook and see what everyone’s up to, but all that does is set your mind racing as you inundate yourself with information. Take a look at the following wise words and you’ll be able to enjoy every second of life as you restore your inner balance. Take Some Time to Just Sit and Listen to the Birds There’s a lot to be said for embracing boredom and leaving your phone in your pocket, so why not give it a try? It’s something we could all do with doing a little more often, and it’s a great way to start your day. Taking the time to make yourself a cup of coffee and sit outside in the garden is the ideal quiet start to what will likely prove to be a hectic day. It’s a chance to ground yourself, to relax, and to take in the simple things in life. If you do it every day for a week, it’ll become a key part of your daily routine that you can’t do without. Head to a Clinic for a Pampering Session Cosmetic clinics are the place to go to if you want to really pamper yourself. By having an expert use their skills to soothe your body and put your mind at ease you can get the best of both worlds. Ideal if you want to feel refreshed the moment you wake up the next morning. It’s also a great way to spend some time with the best friend you’ve been meaning to catch up with for ages now. Get together for some coffee beforehand, and then show each other the results of your latest beauty session. It won’t just help you love the way you look, it’ll also make you feel at home in your own skin as you centre yourself. Take a Walk Late in the Evening The evenings aren’t solely devoted to TV and social media if you don’t want them to be. Taking the dog for a walk as the sun goes down is a great way to let your hair down and enjoy one of the simple things in life. It’s a chance to get plenty of fresh air before bed, and the break from screens will give your eyes a chance to rest. Some people even leave their phone at home so they can totally disconnect for an hour so. Binge Watch Your Favourite Shows Despite what we just said in the last point, binge watching is one of the most fun ways to rest and relax. It allows you to immerse yourself in a whole new universe of entertainment, and to lose yourself in a story. If you find a series you’re hooked on, keep watching it. There’s nothing better than getting into a plot and picking out your favourite characters. Find a friend who’s watching the same show and you’ll have something to chat about when you meet up next week. Join the Gym and Take Pride in Your Fitness Joining the gym is a great way to restore your inner balance, and it’s easier to do than you might think. If you’re new to exercise it can feel intimidating going to a muscle bound gym, so why not go with a friend? You could avoid the peak hours straight after work, and go on the weekend morning for a little while as you build your confidence. One thing is for sure, once you start going and you see some gains, you’ll be hooked. It’ll give you confidence, balance, and something to focus on. Start Baking Healthy Sweet Treats Baking is a great mindful activity that will have you feeling at ease in no time at all. Pick a recipe you’ve been meaning to try, walk to the shop, and then get busy rustling up something amazing. It doesn’t even matter if you don’t nail it the first time — the key point is that you’ve got yourself moving and thinking about something new. Just by working with your hands you’ll be stimulating new parts of your brain that you don’t necessarily use during work hours. Take your pick from the options above, think about how you can fit them into your daily routine, and then dive in feet first. It might sound easier said than done, but when you make a start you’ll find you really don’t want to stop. It’ll certainly be worth it when you wake up relaxed and refreshed every single morning. About the Author: Rebecca is a translator by day, and a traveler mostly at night. She is an expert on living with jet lag – and packing in tiny suitcases. You can read more of her exploits at RoughDraft.
5 Work/Life Balance Tips for Incredible Mompreneurs 2 July 2019 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Guest Post, Inspiration, Life Coaching, Self Care, Uncategorised Being a mom is never easy. Mom is also a nurse, a chef, and teacher. It brings immeasurable joy to the heart, but there’s no shame in admitting that sometimes things get really hard. When mom also has entrepreneurial ambitions, finding a work-life balance can be complicated because there’s her work on one side and her children on another. Add a significant other into the mix and things can get quite chaotic. Here are some tips on how to get work and life balance in order. 1. Exercise Sitting in the office all day can be a disaster for the back. Even if you work from home, chances are that you spend a lot of time sitting. It’s important to find some time off to work out. There are few ways to exercise: in a group, in pairs or individually. If time and money allow, go to a gym and find a personal trainer. In case that’s not possible, try working out at home or find a group of people to exercise with. Home workouts are also good since it lets you do it on your own terms. 2. Get organized Knowing when to do something and at what time can be immensely helpful for organizing day-to-day activities. Using containers to make meals in advance and vacuum bags will help you arrange your food and clothes for the week. Learn how to multi-task efficiently. For work, using a good project management tool can significantly reduce work-related stress. There are countless other apps that can be helpful in managing professional and personal activities, and if you’re more of an old-school type, then get a quality notebook planner and keep it with you all the time. 3. Learn to relax Doing laundry, cooking meals and reading bedtime stories is already exhausting, but when you add work deadlines and demanding clients, things get more difficult. That’s why it’s necessary to take some time off and loosen up a bit. Having a bath, reading, watching TV can be relaxing and energizing at the same time. Additionally, treating yourself for a professional massage experience can help you unwind and forget your daily worries, even only for a bit. Mental well-being is crucial to stay focused and thrive. Being alone can be beneficial for recollecting thoughts and decompressing. Also, having regular date nights with your spouse can help you two reconnect and add some zest to your marriage. 4. Know when to say no Being a mompreneur can be very empowering, however, shuffling work duties, money management, family responsibilities, and personal care can put you under significant strain, but it can be done as long as there are set boundaries. Especially if you’re the type everyone relies on. Being needed can be stimulating sometimes, but one must learn how to say no. Prioritizing tasks is what separates successful people from those who do everything for everybody. Remember that your family and your health should always come first. Everything else is less important. 5. Ask for help Having a great career or a business of your own is a notable achievement by itself. Adding a family to the mix can make things complete. But no matter how hard-working you are, there are times when you’ll feel tired. That’s fine and shouldn’t be treated as a failure. We all need a hand sometimes, even the mompreneurs. Asking for help is not something to be embarrassed about. Relying on your partner is much better and can help bring the family together. Also, being in touch with other mompreneurs can significantly help you learn and find support when you need it the most. After all, people who are similar to you can also understand you better and empathize with you on a deeper level. Just remember that being a superwoman doesn’t mean doing everything by yourself. Asking for help is crucial if you want to thrive in all aspects of your life. Written by: Sophia Smith Sophia Smith is a beauty blogger, eco-lifestyle lover, graphic designer and food enthusiast. She is focusing on minimalism and good quality. Her other hobbies center around her love for nature, well-being and living in balance. Sophia writes mostly about beauty-related topics in her blogs and articles. She has contributed to a number of publications including: Life Goals Mag, Savant Magazine, Secret Garden, Bonvita Style, Cause Artist and Book Meditation Retreats. You can find out more about her writing by following her on: Facebook Twitter Google +
Conquering Self-Doubt 3 June 2019 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Individual Therapy, Inspiration, Self Care, Therapy Self-doubt is that awful voice in our head that tells us we can’t do something, that we won’t be successful, or that we will fail. Self-doubt is something that builds over time, maybe it developed from a chaotic childhood, a parent we couldn’t please, a time we failed at something, a relationship that didn’t work out, a rejection from a job, or even a person or loved one. Most of us deal with a form of self-doubt at some point in our lives. It is amazing to me how quickly our brains can automatically turn to doubt. These automatic thoughts often leave us stuck and holding ourselves back from achieving goals, when we should be taking risks in either our jobs or relationships and enjoying a fulfilling life. So what do we do to conquer self-doubt? The process itself isn’t an easy one, but can be very rewarding if you are able to consciously make an effort to combat it. Here are some tips to help you conquer your own self doubt 1. Recognize it exists – recognition is the impetus for any change. We can’t change what we don’t acknowledge. When self-doubt rears its ugly head, pay attention to it. Acknowledge that it’s there, but work toward identifying that these negative thoughts aren’t facts. 2. Challenge the thought – if you went on a date with someone and they didn’t call you back, is your first assumption that the rejection was because of you? What if the person’s mother fell ill? Or their ex-partner contacted them and wanted to reconcile and give the relationship another chance. What if you got rejected for a job? Not because you weren’t qualified but because the company decided to take a different route due to budget cuts. There are many explanations that have absolutely no connection to you or your worth. 3. If your doubt is related to past mistakes, then acknowledge them, but remind yourself that the past is in the past. If we attempted something in the past and weren’t successful, it doesn’t mean that we won’t be successful now. We have grown since then, we have looked back on what didn’t work, and we have experienced some new learning since then. Instead of looming in your doubt, remind yourself of the things you did to overcome the failure from the past. 4. Think of some positive thoughts. Instead of looking at only what could go wrong, ask yourself what could go right. Give yourself some positive messages. Why are the negative ones the only ones you are allowing in? 5. DO NOT COMPARE. In the age of social media this is an important one. You have no idea what is happening in someone else’s life, they may have a great partner but hate their job, or may be dealing with a sick child or ailing parents. 6. Remember that we aren’t only our failures, we are also our successes. If you weren’t successful at something reflect on what you would do differently the next time. For example, if you don’t feel you did well at a job interview, how might you go about it differently next time. Could you practice with someone? Do more research about the position? Self doubt exists in all of us, maybe at different times and for different reasons, but all of us have it. The key is to work towards combating the things that are holding us back or keeping us stuck and causing us to beat ourselves up. If you continue to struggle, it may be best to speak with a therapist. They can provide you with additional tools to help you overcome self-doubt. Written by Bliss therapist Tammy Benwell. Learn more about Tammy and get her secret “Tips From the Couch” here. If you liked this article on self-doubt, you might enjoy these too: What Does it Mean to be Authentic? Others Will Treat You the Way You Let Them – 3 Keys to Boundary Setting Why we Need to Stop “Agreeing to Disagree” Are you ready to speak with a therapist about some of the self-doubt you’ve been experiencing? We’re happy to help! Get in touch with us here. If you’re interested in booking your first appointment at Bliss, you can do that here.
Why You Should Consider Yoga and Meditation 13 May 2019 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Fitness, Guest Post, Individual Therapy, Inspiration, Life Coaching, Self Care It is estimated that one in five adults will experience a mental illness in any given year with anxiety disorders as the leading cause. Mental illness is recognized when an individual shows ongoing signs and symptoms of stress that affect their ability to function. Mental illness may impact a person’s mood, behavior, and capacity to think or concentrate. While those suffering from mental illness may feel alone, lost, or incapacitated, research has shown that along with diet and exercise, mindfulness practices such as yoga and meditation can offer amazing benefits that may help some to reduce and/or manage symptoms of mental illness. Benefits of Yoga Yoga is one of the oldest body-and-mind practices in the world dating back nearly 5,000 years. Through the use of body positions and postures, breathing techniques, and mindful meditation, yoga provides several benefits to help manage your mental illness. Here are three. Improves Heart Rate Variability Heart Rate variability is based on how your heart rate varies when you inhale and exhale. A higher variability is an indicator of physical and mental resilience. Studies show that practicing yoga for as little as six weeks shows an improved heart rate variability as well as a lower resting heart rate; two indicators of a strong stress-response. Cultivates Positive Thinking Mental illness is often identified by chronic or frequent bouts of sadness, emptiness, and irritability that impacts a person’s ability to function. Studies have shown that the physical and mindfulness of yoga actually changes the long-term effects of how your brain responds to depression, in some ways acting as a natural antidepressant. Creates Better Understanding of Self The mindfulness and mental development promoted by yoga helps a person realize “shadow” qualities they did not know they possessed. Whether those qualities are empathy toward others, confidence, the ability to overcome obstacles, or greater control over mind and body, yoga can open profound possibility. Benefits of Meditation Meditation is the practice of achieving mental clarity and emotional calm through mindfulness and awareness techniques. The goal of meditation is to bring a person into the “now” while putting aside the stressors brought on by overthinking the past and future. Here are three ways meditation can benefit mental illness. Improves Sleep Insomnia is a leading cause of mental illness causing a disruption in your circadian rhythm and sleep patterns. Meditation helps to reduce insomnia and improve sleep quality by focusing your mind on the now rather than the past which cannot be changed and the future which is unpredictable. This awareness helps to place perspective on your surroundings and ease your mind of daily stress leading to a sounder sleep. Reduces the Chemical Cytokines Cytokines are inflammatory chemicals that your body releases in response to stress. They can have a negative impact on your mood and emotions. In fact, one scientific-based study on meditation showed significant measurable signs of positive thinking and optimism. Can Control Pain How you perceive pain has a direct connection to your state of mind. For people who experience mental illness, their perception of pain can be elevated while experiencing stressful conditions. Meditation has been shown to increase brain activity in areas that control pain. In fact, meditation is used to manage chronic pain for people with terminal illnesses such as cancer. Yoga and meditation whether practiced independently or symbiotically have been shown to improve the negative effects of mental illness by creating mental and physical awareness, improving sleep, and directly impacting your body’s chemical imbalances to create a positive mental state of being. So, if you’re looking for a mindful way to manage mental illness, ten minutes of yoga or meditation is a great start. About the Author: Laurie is a writer based on the east coast who enjoys spending her days writing on health and wellness topics. In her free time, she loves doing anything that gets her outdoors breathing fresh air.
5 Mindfulness Practices from Powerful Women 29 April 2019 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Guest Post, Inspiration, Life Coaching, Self Care Being stress-free in the 21stcentury is not all that easy. The pressure from work, family, exercise, studying and leaving some time to hang out with friends can be quite overwhelming. Our mind is constantly working, it has no pause, and the worst thing is that it is always creating different scenarios, making us feel anxious and depressed. It all sounds so negative and scary but with some tips on mindfulness, you can be one step closer to living a better life. There is a big difference between being lonely and alone Loneliness is the number one reason behind depression, according to many people. Not having somebody to share your troubles with or simply talk can severely damage even our brain function in addition to making us depressed. However, keep in mind that being alone doesn’t necessarily mean you are lonely. In fact, research shows that it is good for us to spend some time alone. The philosophy behind this is that we will get to know ourselves better. We will be in touch with our needs and wishes. When It comes to relationships, we will be sure that we are a part of it because we want to be, not because we are lonely and in need of a companion. It might sound cheesy, but get to know and love yourself first, only then will you be able to have meaningful connections. Don’t be too hard on yourself Self-criticism can be a good thing if used correctly. You should look at everything you do objectively and you shouldn’t praise yourself if you have done something wrong. But there is a line that has to be drawn somewhere. A line where you will stop with negative thoughts and turn more towards self-support. Whatever the reason may be: you haven’t accomplished something you wanted to by a certain age or you feel like a failure in some way, always keep in mind that there is time. So, give it some time, pick yourself up, and start from where you left off. Simply by trying you will feel much better. Overthinking is our biggest enemy Rationalizing your problems, tasks, and everyday life is very effective. Thinking ahead also. However, overthinking is something you should step away from. By doing that we are creating additional problems that we don’t already have. As opposed to doing this, stay in the present. Think about what your current situation is, and, to put it simply, go with the flow. Learn to resolve your problems once they really do become a problem, not in advance. Take some burden off yourself and enjoy life day by day. Pampering yourself is not a luxury A connection exists between your mind and body, even scientists think so. Before thinking about taking care of your body, make some time for your mind as well. Simple things are quite effective, like reading a book, decorating, listening to music or being with people who inspire you. Once we have settled this, the body will follow, although it wouldn’t hurt to help a bit. Even if you think that you are indulging way too much if you book a spa treatment or get a manicure, the truth is that sometimes this kind of spoiling is exactly what you need. In addition to being in touch with your nature and character, it is important to take care of your physical appearance in order to feel good. It doesn’t need to be anything luxurious as long as it is within natural product lines. Even better, something like cruelty free makeup lets you take care of your appearance while still feeling good about the products you use. And don’t worry, because there is a big market to choose from. Breathing exercises and mediation If you are into meditation or yoga, practicing it is most certainly beneficial for both your physical and mental health. But don’t get too caught up in the traditional meaning of meditation. If you like lying on the bedroom floor and listening to music or cleaning to help with anxiety, then, by all means, do it. It can be your own version of mediation. The form is not important as long as it makes you feel better. The whole concept of mindfulness is not to suppress our thoughts, but to enjoy experiences in life without overthinking. Written by: Sophia Smith Sophia Smith is a beauty blogger, eco-lifestyle lover, graphic designer and food enthusiast. She is focusing on minimalism and good quality. Her other hobbies center around her love for nature, well-being and living in balance. Sophia writes mostly about beauty-related topics in her blogs and articles. She has contributed to a number of publications including: Life Goals Mag, Savant Magazine, Secret Garden, Bonvita Style, Cause Artist and Book Meditation Retreats. You can find out more about her writing by following her on: Facebook Twitter Google +
5 Tips to Feel More Grateful and Blissful 18 March 2019 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Guest Post, Individual Therapy, Inspiration, Relationships, Self Care, Therapy No one is immune to the stress of everyday life. The grind we face at work, the conflicts we encounter (and often cause) in personal relationships, the dissatisfaction with our selfhood – it all plays havoc with how aware we are of the true beauty that life holds. We miss the grateful smile of a waiter whom you tipped, the elderly couple celebrating their half-a-century of togetherness, and we’re blind to the beauty of an urban sunset, too busy rushing to catch our bus. While it’s true that all of your troubles and their gravity can cause you emotional turmoil, we all have the ability and numerous opportunities every day to become more open to the wonders of life and feel genuinely grateful for them. It’s like finding your little safe haven of bliss in the eye of a storm: and here are the five ways to become more attuned to your inner child, one amazed and grateful for life even amidst chaos. Find your words Our mind is shaped by the words we use to describe ourselves. When you find yourself feeling guilty over a mistake you’ve made, you further exasperate the emotion and hurt your self-perception by “rubbing it in” with harsh language and self-deprecating thoughts. It becomes automatic, so we curse and complain and punish ourselves for the smallest of failings, no matter how human they are. We set impossible standards and expectations. And we always focus on our shortcomings, even when we do succeed. Being more grateful should start within, by choosing a different language to describe yourself and your accomplishments. Would you ever use those stern words to comfort your friend for their recent failure? You wouldn’t even use the word failure in all likelihood. Start writing your words down, and start reshaping your self-descriptions with more love and more encouragement. It will ultimately help you perceive yourself as the worthy, imperfect, incredible person that you are. Nurture your closest bonds As our lives develop, we spend so much of our time on distractions rather than our life’s substance and its deepest meaning. We’ll spend more time scrolling our Facebook feed than talking to our loved ones, or watching TV instead of visiting our family. Our parents are perfect examples of this digital abyss we’ve fallen into: they have helped us build our independence, and now we find ourselves mesmerized by the irrelevant, too busy to express our gratitude for such unspoken gifts. While it’s true that holidays shouldn’t be the only time to show our gratitude for our family members, if you take the time to peruse through Mother’s Day gifts in order to find the perfect one for your mom, you’ll let your actions speak for you to express your gratitude. When it’s evident from the gift itself that you haven’t treated it as another chore, but as an opportunity to express your love, your family will know and appreciate the gesture. Remember, every day is Mother’s Day. So perhaps while we wait for May 12th, a phone call is in order? Take a deep breath The fact that some things go without saying, such as your mom’s love and affection, does not mean that we should take them for granted. Breathing, for instance, is a perfect example of something we take for granted that has an incredible ability to heal us. One of the best ways to nurture your mindfulness every day is to include breathing exercises paired with affirmations. They will not only help you soothe your anxieties in the moment of practice, but they’ll also help you become more mindful of your every moment of every day. You’ll start noticing your stress triggers and you’ll have better control of your experience, you’ll learn how to let go of resentment and focus on the present moment. Forgive yourself as well as others While we’re on the topic of resentment, we spend too much of our time stressing over what we’ve done wrong or what was done to us in the past. The simple truth is that the only way you’ll ever have the chance to enjoy your present is if you let go of the past – it has already shaped you to an extent, we all have moments we regret, but they needn’t taint our present and our future as well. Forgiveness is the only vessel we need to give ourselves a chance to fully enjoy our present, and the only vessel we need in order to outgrow our past self. If you let anger or regret permeate your entire life, you relinquish control to those negative emotions and the events that have caused them – forgiveness means taking back control over your life. Make a difference Finally, sometimes we need and should get a different perspective in order to fully grasp the value of our lives. Ask what you can do for others, how you can make a difference for others, and let your ego deflate a little bit – you and I are not the only creatures that matter in this universe. If you can do something to help others, whether it’s helping your elderly neighbor clean their garden or donate your clothes to those in need, you’ll quickly contribute to a valuable cause and give yourself a new vantage point, one of appreciation. Life is indeed too short to spend it on resentments. Use these simple tips to help yourself feel more grateful, and you’ll unleash an avalanche of bliss into your life, no matter how many hardships you face in the future. Written by: Sophia Smith Sophia Smith is a beauty blogger, eco-lifestyle lover, graphic designer and food enthusiast. She is focusing on minimalism and good quality. Her other hobbies center around her love for nature, well-being and living in balance. Sophia writes mostly about beauty-related topics in her blogs and articles. She has contributed to a number of publications including: Life Goals Mag, Savant Magazine, Secret Garden, Bonvita Style, Cause Artist and Book Meditation Retreats. You can find out more about her writing by following her on: Facebook Twitter Google +
Stop the Worry Trance and Simplify Your Choices 5 March 2019 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Individual Therapy, Inspiration, Self Care, Therapy I’m currently renovating my living room and wanted to paint the walls a shade of white. There are almost 100 different shades of white. I felt overwhelmed while at the paint store, I wanted to choose a colour that would make the living room lighter and brighter. I decided to pick “pebble white”, but questioned whether I had made the best decision or not. You may not be experiencing a paint dilemma right now, but perhaps you have had to make a choice related to your health, school, parenting, finances, relationships, work, travelling or planning an event recently that resulted in anxious feelings. Research is showing that more choices are leading to increased accounts of self-blame and depression. The happiness equation by Neil Pasricha describes that, “We are exhausted by making decisions. We want to go to the movie theatre with the most movies playing, we like the restaurants with the long menu. Having more choice reduces our happiness. We get decision fatigue. We avoid the decision or we make a bad decision and we always worry we made the wrong choice.” I really started to understand choice fatigue after travelling to India. I travelled to the Himalayans and stayed at an Ashram. I used the same plate and spoon at every meal. I had a bucket of water to wash my clothes at the end of the day. I wore the same clothing almost every day. It was a cultural adjustment at first, however I enjoyed the simplicity of it, which created more clarity and focus. There is a reason why Steve Jobs wore a black t-shirt every day, and the founder of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, also embraces a simple clothing style. Simplifying your clothing choices at the start of your day gives you more brainpower for other decisions. Researchers at Columbia University discovered a striking pattern while looking at the verdicts reached by judges in the Israeli court system. Prisoners that were seen in the morning for charges of fraud and assault received parole 65% of the time. Prisoners who appeared late in the day for similar cases received parole less then 10% of the time. There were other common variables noticed in the study, if the judge had taken a lunch break, the cases after the break-received parole 60% of the time. Each choice you make depletes your energy. As you become more fatigued, you’re more likely to make decisions with less clarity. If you’re curious about other choice fatigue research studies, then you may want to read the book Willpower by Roy Raumeister and John Tierney. There is a Ted Talk on the paradox of choice by Barry Schwartz, which describes that choices can produce paralysis instead of liberation. I didn’t fully understand this until my experience in a third world country. When I was staying in India there was only one store in walking distance. At the store there was only one face wash to choose from, you were lucky to find a roll of toilet paper, and only one cold beverage was available – coconut water. Unlike the corner stores here in North America, where we are inundated with 100 different drink options, having only one choice made the selection process very easy. This saved me time, mental exhaustion, and overall I appreciated every drop of that delicious cold coconut water. Having an abundance of choices can lead to depression. When you enter a grocery store and have over 100 different drink options, you can feel paralyzed over what choice to make. Once that choice is finally made, then you may even start to ponder if a different choice would have been better, which can lead to self-blame and depression. So, what can you do to combat the choice fatigue that leaves you exhausted day after day? Below are seven daily tips to create more brainpower! 1. Eating the same thing every day. I enjoy eating oatmeal every day, and when I start to get bored I spice it up with some cinnamon, almond milk and apples! 2. Wearing the same thing. I choose to wear solid colours, and will wear the same cozy clothes each week, rotating approximately 30 items. 3. Embrace daily routines. I enjoy making myself a schedule for the next day the night before. I will plan out a yoga class to attend in the morning, make a grocery list and will meal plan every Monday. I make one soup every week, and will make an abundant amount to take to work with me each day for the week. 4. Limit choices. Fewer choices lead to more time for other things. Reserve your energy for time that matters. I enjoy attending a yoga class before going to work. The yoga instructor creates the flow and instructs me to move from pose to pose. I feel energized when I leave and have more focus and clarity for other decisions during my day. 5. Single-tasking. Schedule time each day to check your email and provide a response. I check my email twice a day, once at 7am and again at the end of the day. I allocate a 30-minute window to go though my email and provide a response. I keep this time distraction free so I can focus on each person to provide the best response. 6. Focus on your intention instead of the outcome. When I injured my IT Band, I had difficulty walking for almost two months. I really wanted my leg to heal so that I could be pain free and move about my day easily. I felt disappointed and sad that it wasn’t healing faster. I had stopped my yoga practice and started float therapy. In order to address the disappointment that I was experiencing, I changed my mindset. Instead of focusing on the outcome I focused on my intention, which was to relieve stress and sooth my pain. Once I became intention focused, I valued and enjoyed the experience of float therapy much more. I stopped focusing on the outcome and enjoyed being in the moment, floating on water like a frog lounging on a lily pad. 7. Trust your intuition! Recently during my home renovations, I was debating whether or not I should keep the popcorn ceiling in my living room. I made a poll on Instagram to see what others thought, but before looking at the results I had already made the decision to embrace the popcorn ceiling. Many people voted not to keep the popcorn ceiling, which made me ponder whether or not I was making the right choice. In the end, I stayed true to my decision to embrace the popcorn ceiling because it not only saved me time and money, but also added character to my living room. Have faith in the decisions you make and trust your gut! “May your choices reflect your hopes not your fears.” – Nelson Mandela Written by Bliss therapist Stacey Harris. Learn more about Stacey and get her secret “Tips From the Couch” here!