You are Getting Very… Misinformed? The Truth About Clinical Hypnotherapy 27 August 2021 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Book Recommendations, Communication, Events, Grief, Individual Therapy, Inspiration, Life Coaching, Self Care, Therapy In your classic portrayal of hypnosis, you might find yourself staring intently at a swinging pendulum, and listening to a series of repetitive phrases until you are lulled into a state of suggestibility. In this state, a hypnotist could make you sing opera or cluck like a chicken. This isn’t a new idea – hypnotherapy has a long history of being falsely represented as a form of mind control. Clinical hypnotherapy, however, is quite different. Clinical hypnotherapists use hypnosis as a therapeutic tool. Hypnosis, a state of deep relaxation and heightened awareness, opens up the unconscious mind to suggestions. Unlike pop culture hypnosis portrayals, in clinical hypnotherapy, the client is always in control. The client’s brain is just more receptive to imagery, creativity, and new ideas. Clinical hypnotherapy can be a valuable tool for breaking habits, promoting relaxation, and even relieving pain. Hypnotherapy has a long history, and in the 1960s, it gained medical recognition as a legitimate form of treatment. Hypnotherapy is currently not regulated by a medical board, but most clinical hypnotherapists are well-trained and hold Master’s degrees or higher. I sat down with one of our practicing hypnotherapists, Stacey Fernandes (she/her/hers), who discussed with me the roots of clinical hypnotherapy, its applications, and misconceptions. What is Clinical Hypnotherapy? Like all legitimate therapeutic approaches, clinical hypnotherapy is grounded in scientific research. Clinical hypnotherapy has been proven to improve anxiety and depression, with or without adjunct treatment. It is thought to be most effective when combined with other talk therapy approaches such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). Hypnotherapy can be used in an individual or group setting. In both settings, hypnotherapy can be used to gain insight into one’s life, habits, and values. When hypnotherapy is done in an individual session, it is more tailored to the client, and parts can even be recorded and played back after the session is over. Often, participants in hypnotherapy groups will pursue individual hypnotherapy later. The typical trope of a client getting very sleepy before slipping into a trance is misguided and misinformed. In fact, Stacey notes that clients often feel re-energized following a session. Depending on the goals of the client, a clinical hypnotherapist can tailor the session to renew energy or restore peace. Each clinical hypnotherapist has their own style. Stacey shares that her own is very imagery- and nature-based, often involving meditations of forests, hammocks, or beaches. Some clinical hypnotherapists have more colour-based hypnotic scripts. Each hypnotic script is designed to evoke a feeling, action, or emotion. How Does One Become a Clinical Hypnotherapist? Stacey obtained her Master of Social Work degree before furthering her education as a hypnotherapist. It was through her college that she learned of a hypnotherapy training course in Costa Rica. The course was centred around “Breaking the Worry Trance” and was revelatory for Stacey. It was imagery-based, and has since informed Stacey’s own practice. To become a clinical hypnotherapist, Stacey did over one hundred hours of clinical training in Ericksonian hypnotherapy. Ericksonian hypnotherapy uses techniques such as metaphor and imagery to alter behavioural patterns. There are other types of hypnotherapy, which combine other therapeutic approaches, such as psychoanalysis or solution-focused therapy. How Does Clinical Hypnotherapy Work? Clinical hypnotherapy taps into our subconscious mind, moving us away from our analytical brain and into our receptive, creative mind. Often, our brain can meet new ideas with resistance or skepticism. Clinical hypnotherapists ask us not to ignore or avoid these feelings, rather to observe and normalize them. Stacey borrowed a metaphor from renowned hypnotherapist, Grace Smith, to describe how hypnotherapy works: “Picture a bouncer (conscious mind) at a nightclub (subconscious mind). Inside the club all the people are smoking cigarettes and a non smoker approaches the bouncer stating ‘I can help, I’ve read lots of books on wealth.’ The bouncer denies the request because they are unfamiliar, despite this person being safe and offering valuable information. Everyone in the club is very familiar with each other despite it being an unhealthy behaviour. Anything new gets blocked. The non smoker tries to tip the bouncer $100 and gets into the club. The person interacts with everyone by speaking on the microphone and engaging them to drink water instead and providing the benefits of hydration. Eventually everyone starts drinking water and feeling much healthier. Now if a person who smoked tried to get into the club the bouncer would deny them – they are unfamiliar!” This helpful metaphor illustrates how clinical hypnotherapy can be helpful for opening up and expanding our minds. Clinical hypnotherapy can be effective where other therapeutic approaches are not, and can be used to calm and alleviate anxiety. However, it is often met with resistance due to preconceived notions as well as unconscious biases. Yet, with an open mind and commitment to heal, clinical hypnotherapy can be incredibly effective. What Should I Know Before Seeking Clinical Hypnotherapy Treatment? I asked Stacey the question, “What would you tell someone who is thinking about starting clinical hypnotherapy?” and she had some great ideas. First of all, do your research. Since clinical hypnotherapy is not regulated the same way social work and psychotherapy services are, literally anyone can claim to be a hypnotherapist. You want to seek out someone who has other credentials, such as a Master’s Degree in Social Work, or Registered Psychotherapist status. Ask questions about your potential clinical hypnotherapist’s background, training, and experience. Many training courses have a required number of hours of practicing the craft; ask if your therapist has completed these, how many, and where. Inquire about their specialties, style, and interests. Book a consultation with the clinical hypnotherapist to see if you two are a good fit. Like any therapeutic relationship, you want to ensure you have similar styles, goals, and interests. If something feels off, or you don’t feel comfortable opening up to this person, consider looking elsewhere. Remember that clinical hypnotherapy is scientifically-backed, and evidence-based. Your clinical hypnotherapist should be adequately trained and qualified. Treat this like you are finding a new healthcare provider; you want to be confident that the provider has the skills and expertise you are looking for. If you are a beginner to clinical hypnotherapy, consider looking for a practitioner trained in Ericksonian hypnotherapy; this is listed as one of the therapeutic modalities in Ontario, along with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS). This means that it is recognized as effective by the regulatory board of Ontario for psychotherapy. Most importantly, approach clinical hypnotherapy with curiosity, open-mindedness, and willingness to learn. Embrace and question your skepticism, and move towards healing with patience and wonder. Interested in partaking in clinical hypnotherapy as part of your healing journey? Bliss is offering a virtual hypnotherapy group workshop this Fall, with the aim to Re-Charge and Re-Energize after a year and a half of pandemic life. Run by Bliss therapists, Stacey and Lindsay, it is an excellent opportunity to engage in clinical hypnotherapy. Are you interested in joining the workshop? Sign up today! . Contact community@blisscounselling.ca or call us at 226-647-6000. __________ Written by: Catiyana Adam and Stacey Fernandes Catiyana is Bliss Counselling’s Office Strategist, a music enthusiast, and avid writer. She has a keen interest in mental health, illness, and treatment, and is aspiring to be a therapist. Catiyana graduated from McMaster University in 2021 with a Honours Bachelor of Arts in Sociology. She focused on courses in health and illness, as well as families and feminist studies. She hopes to pursue a Master of Social Work at Wilfrid Laurier University next year. Stacey is a Registered Social Worker, traveller, and adventurer at heart. She is dedicated to learning and advancing her knowledge through workshops, courses, and travel. Stacey uses EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing) as well as Hypnotherapy and other therapeutic methods in her sessions. She believes in communication, reflection, and slowing down.
New and Trending Research on Autism 28 June 2021 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Book Recommendations, Communication, Individual Therapy, Life Coaching, Relationships, Self Care, Therapy What is Autism Autism is hard to define. Not only because the definition itself changes all the time, but because it affects our perceptions, communication, social experiences, learning and behaviour; essentially, everything you need in order to get through the world. Any information that is being processed by the senses can easily over-stimulate an individual who is on the Autism Spectrum. On the other hand, an individual with Autism can also have difficulty processing input from their senses. This is why we discuss Autism, as a spectrum, and say,“If you’ve met one person with autism, you’ve met one person with autism.” How to diagnose ASD In order to be diagnosed with ASD, you need an assessment from a professional who can provide an assessment. This professional can be a doctor, social worker, psychiatrist, or psychologist, who are able to provide a screening using certain tools. In Canada and the United States, we use the DSM-5 as our tool for assessment and diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). The DSM-5 essentially is like a take out menu; you pick three criteria from column A, two from column B, and 1 from column C, D and E. The DSM-5 also uses a process called, scaling, where the person being assessed is also rated from 1-3 in terms of severity. This is more subjective, as diagnoses are not applied consistently in clinical practice, and as such are less useful from a treatment standpoint. However, the rest of the world uses ICD-11. The ICD-11 uses 3 subtypes or possible diagnoses: (1) Childhood, (2) Aspergers, or (3) Pervasive Developmental Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS). IDC-11 includes profiles such as Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) , a profile where those on the spectrum may avoid demands that would even be pleasurable for them. Since there are different tools that could be used in order to assess a person for ASD, it means that we aren’t all communicating or understanding ASD from the same reference point, or speaking the same language, and as a result, researchers are finding it difficult to collaborate and synthesize common or generalizable patterns. Another big concern in trending research is the discrepancies between the age of concern (i.e., when behaviours and traits become apparent) and the age of diagnosis. Parents and teachers alike are noticing behaviours such as missed milestones and other common traits in children quite young that could indicate ASD. But, it takes years for the diagnosis. This is an unfortunate reality when it is expected (across all neurodiverse people) that the earlier the diagnosis, the better. As a result, we are losing critical time. Currently, we aren’t really sure how to screen more effectively, although researchers are doing their best to try to close this gap. What is the importance of an assessment Sometimes, when we are faced with a number of challenges, we need support. Some people may wish to receive support without a formal ASD diagnosis. For others though, an assessment may help an individual with accessing additional therapy or support programs such as, disability credits (for the adult or family & caregivers of a child or teen), an Individual Education Plan (IEP), or workplace accommodations. What is it be included in an IEP The best IEPs should be a living document that is changed and updated regularly and follows the person with ASD throughout their educational career. IEPs are mandated to be updated at least once a year, in the Fall when the academic year begins. However, the most effective IEPs are updated throughout the school year, as new information becomes available (i.e., new assessments, new interests, new motivations for goals, etc). It’s important that it also be reviewed regularly with the child’s teachers to ensure that they are up to date on all of the important details. IEPs should also include information on practical supports and longer term goals. For instance, you can ask yourself or your child if they are struggling with processing reading, emotional self-regulation, or other daily tasks and brainstorm ways in which they will be able to receive support in these areas throughout the day. When considering long term goals, such as establishing greater independence and/or self-advocacy, you’ll also want to consider whether it is achievable. Basically, we don’t want to give somebody with an ASD diagnosis a tool they are unable to use. Some goals, like self-advocacy, are quite lofty for a person on the spectrum and need to be broken down into smaller skills or parts in order for there to be incremental progress and success. Legally, IEPs are also to include a transition plan, by the age of 16. This is a very integral part of planning the next steps, as this person reaches the end of high school. IEPs may integrate strengths-based approaches. Typically IEPs have focused on the student needing support, or to be assimilated in the classroom, rather than focusing on where the student is already demonstrating success. A strengths-based approach views neurodiversity as a normal variation of the human genome that doesn’t need to be fixed. When incorporating this approach, we are working to maximize the students strengths, talents, and interests as well as their deficits and restricted interests. This process is collaborative and includes the student’s goals so that it is a helpful resource and tool for the student. When we aren’t collaborative in this process, the student isn’t invested or engaged, and why would they be? They didn’t contribute to the creation of the IEP or share their perspectives, experiences, goals or interests, which may be vastly different from those being provided by the parents, caregivers or teachers. This approach also considers the functions of the behaviour, not just the problem behaviours. In doing so we are pulling back the outer layers, the outward reactions, in order to understand what is happening for this person and why. If, for instance, a student relies on behaviour for regulation, then what are we going to do to support them? What is something else that could fill that same function or regulation piece? There’s value in setting the bar high. But, it’s also good for students who struggle to feel success, even if it means breaking a goal down into its most elemental parts, so that the student can attain it, feel success, and improve their self-esteem. How to navigate transitions Transition strategies are used to support individuals with ASD during changes or disruptions to activities, settings, or routines, by planning ahead (front loading) before the transition occurs. Transition plans are used to create predictability and positive routines around transitions. They can be presented to the individual verbally, auditorily or visually such as: Visual schedule planning (e.g., a white board, paper, excel spreadsheet); Electronic (e.g., timers, calendars, colour coded schedules and spreadsheets); Social stories; Visual memory may be higher than audio, verbal or written memory. By providing a visual schedule of the plan, the individual will be better able to remember and regulate the progression of how things are going to go. You may also want to include different colours to distinguish the events and the individuals favourite activities into the schedule. This way the individual can see that these rewards or interests are coming too. Electronic transition tools are great indicators that there will be a transition as well. Using an app on a phone or tablet, also allows them to take ownership of the transitions. When presented well in advance, social stories can help with preparing for a new transition, such as going to the airport for the first time. In this example, you can write a story of what happens when we go to an airport and walk the individual through the series of transitions (e.g., when we arrive to the airport, we will have to park, then we will have to get our bags from the trunk, then we will have to walk across a bridge to the planes, then we will have to wait in line to weigh our bags, then we will have to show our passports to get our tickets, then we will have to go through security, etc.). You can also add to this by finding resources online such as written, audio or video stories, as well as photos, that explain why we are following these steps. What is the difference between meltdowns and burnout Meltdowns and burnout both occur when the demands of a situation exceed the individual’s coping skills. Meltdowns are brief, they last for minutes to hours. The function of this behaviour is to indicate to the individual that they have just crossed a threshold, and offers them a chance to withdraw or regain their sense of control. In order to fully understand the reason for the meltdown, we need to understand the motivation behind the behaviour so that we can make a plan for managing it in the future. ASD burnout is a newer topic in research. It was identified as a new ASD experience when individual participants described the experience to researchers, and it was found to be a common trait. Burnout lasts approximately 1-3 weeks. If this time is exceeded, that’s when professionals begin to question if there are concurrent challenges being experienced, such as depression and anxiety. Burnout is brought on by an extended period of masking. We see it in those with ASD, who have higher social skills who are camouflaging their autistic behaviours. This process can be emotionally, mentally and physically taxing, and ultimately leads to losses in function. These skills, that they use to manage, end up getting lost or reduced. Burnout is present in teens, young adults, and adults at any age. It can amplify stimming behaviours or sensory sensitivity. Burnout is usually seen during transition stages, when expectations and behaviours have to change. The individual usually has no idea that the burnout is about to happen, until it does. Repeated meltdowns can also result in burnout. One resource, “No More Meltdowns” by Jed Baker, provides practical solutions for structuring and managing meltdowns and burnout. Video modelling (e.g., we are going to go to the doctor, then to the playground, etc.) also helps the individual to understand the expectations. Social narrative power cards and comic strips also help. The individual can make their own and manage their own emotions, by for instance, giving themselves a power up, when needed. Whichever method is chosen, the most valuable aspect is to ensure that the individual with ASD is buying into the tools. Other supports include offering choice (e.g., to wipe the table now or in 10 minutes or choice boards) as it helps the individual move toward the activity or goal, and provides them with supportive lessons in terms of limiting choices and power over the decision making process. As rule oriented people, individuals with ASD may also appreciate systems that incorporate rules and offer explanations as to why the rules are the way they are. How does ASD impact sexuality and gender There is a lot of research that is coming out quickly, that is related to sexuality and gender among individuals with ASD. But, it is limited because such individuals are such a proportion of our population. What we do know from the research however, is that only 50% of students with ASD are receiving the same level of sex education as their neurotypical peers. These individuals are sharing the same physical and sexual experiences as their peers, but are receiving less education on the topic, have fewer social supports, as well as a reduced understanding and application of social skills and awareness of social aspects. As a result, younger individuals with ASD are at a higher rate of sexual exploitation, especially online. The most common and fastest growing areas of vulnerability and exploitation are those who are in their tweens and teens. People online will ask them to do and say sexual things. They are then recorded, threatened, blackmailed, and bribed into doing more sexual things online. This is especially dangerous for neurodiverse individuals, because of the combination of lacking: (1) theory in mind, that is, they don’t understand that people would have a different motivation than theirs; (2) social skills, which prevent them from finding support or finding their way out of these situations; and (3) any preventative legal protections. Research has also been finding a strong connection between ASD and gender expression. For instance, studies have found that there is a higher prevalence of ASD in trans-individuals. There is also an overrepresentation of Individuals with ASD in gender clinics reports. There’s debate as to what the connection could be. For instance, when there are assessments being done, there are some ASD specific assessment concerns such as research which was exploring sensory factors of restrictive interests. In this study, the researchers noticed that young boys with ASD who were interested in sparkly, silky things and long hair. This finding aligns with social scripts of femininity or feminine interest. As a result, this interest could be a behaviour exhibited by somebody whose is questioning or considering their gender, but it could also be a sensory factor. Issues related to gender and sexuality are typically ignored when overlapping with a disability, generally, whether it’s physical or invisible. There is an assumption that the complexities that accompany gender and sexuality cannot exist, once somebody is diagnosed with ASD. These issues that are related to gender and sexuality, end up being treated as an obsession or transient phase. But there is some question around whether or not this is an issue of perception. For instance, a person with ASD may think, “I am a man, but I love baking… maybe I am a woman.” By assigning baking as a women-only interest, there may be an issue with being unable to distinguish a gender identity through the ambiguities of social scripts. This is why it is so important to discuss topics of sexuality and gender, as well as the assumptions of categorization or black and white thinking (i.e., that it has to be this or has to be that). Individuals with ASD also place less importance on social norms and don’t necessarily read social cues so they may not conform to gender binaries or scripts, as they feel less social pressure to follow these norms. Where to receive additional support and resources If you are interested in: Updating your tools and strategies for working with individuals with ASD; Creating an effective and strengths-based IEP; Learning more on the functions of ASD behaviours and regulation strategies; Mastering skills like advocacy, goal setting, and independent living skills; Exploring sexuality and gender as it relates to ASD; Understanding the rights for accommodations as an ASD person at school or in the workforce; Finding ways to connect with self and others Then, book an appointment with Josh and receive support that is uniquely tailored to your needs. CLICK HERE to view his online schedule and find a date/time that works best for your schedule. ___________ Written by: Josh Rinz Josh Rinz (MA, RP, AAT) has a Bachelor of Science in Biology from the University of North Carolina and a Masters of Theology, specializing in Spiritual Care and Psychotherapy from Wilfrid Laurier University in Waterloo, ON. Josh is a leading expert in the mental health field, especially when it comes to working with neurodiverse children and adults, as well as their caregivers! He is committed to quality, evidence-based therapeutic practices that work in collaboration with his clients to improve their emotional, cerebral, spiritual, and relational wellbeing. Josh brings an enthusiastic and innovative approach to therapy. Working with diverse individuals, families, and caregivers, he believes in the importance of creating a safe and engaging space where clients can explore their personal stories and discover their sense of hope within. Josh has the training, the experience, and a very special interest in working specifically with adolescents on the autism spectrum, as well as neurodiverse people and those with additional special needs and considerations. He strongly believes in supporting the whole ecosystem of an individual, which includes providing specialized support to the families and caregivers.
HOW TO TALK TO A LOVED ONE ABOUT THEIR MENTAL HEALTH 6 November 2020 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Communication, Guest Post, Life Coaching, Relationships, Uncategorised Being open about our mental health is not a given. Many people living with mental health concerns and emotional pains, or wounds, feel uncomfortable sharing their experience with those around them, and understandably so. Discussions around mental health may still be considered ‘taboo’ for some folks.Despite mental health being a difficult conversation, the reality is that an estimated 1 billion people around the world have concerns about their mental health. During COVID, these conversations may be unavoidable, as families and households are spending more time together in close proximity. Why is Mental Health Taboo? Mental health can be a difficult topic for people for a variety of reasons. Depending on our race, gender, upbringing, religious background, world views, many factors can affect how we relate to and view mental health. I’m sure many can relate to the idea of men having to present as ‘macho’, as the ‘bread-winner’ and being ‘strong’, while women may relate to the stereotype of having to present as ‘vulnerable’ and ‘agreeable’ or ‘passive’.These stereotypes impact the way society views and accept one another. When we do not fit into some of these narrow views of how we “should” identify or present ourselves, it may make others feel uncomfortable, and we may end up feeling unaccepted, or unwanted. Our mental health is affected by these societal values and standards, but some of the challenges we face can also be caused by them. For example, many of us struggle with our mental health when we feel a loss of purpose, community, or understanding. As humans, we need purpose. It’s an evolutionary survival trait. We seek a community for the same reason. There is safety in numbers and we crave to be understood, accepted and welcomed in our groups.When people hold cultural, religious, gender-related biases within their values, it can create a disconnect in our ability to feel understood and to feel as though we relate to those around us. These biases, that to a certain degree, we all have, can make us feel uncomfortable when discussing certain topics, such as mental health. If I was brought up by a family and community who value traditions in gender and hetero norms, and I was born as someone who was gay, for example, I may struggle to come to terms with who I am, but more so, those around me may not be willing to listen to or try to relate to who I am. Essentially… mental health is taboo because we make it so. How to Talk to Someone Struggling with their Mental Health Before opening a dialogue with someone about their mental health, it’s worth taking a step back and asking ourselves these questions.Can I put aside my opinions, which have been formed through my very unique life experiences, to try to approach this situation from a place of open understanding and empathy?In other words, can I appreciate that my opinions and values have been shaped by my very unique experiences throughout life and that those experiences differ wildly from those around me? We are all individuals with very different lives. What may seem normal or a given to one person may be completely foreign to another.Am I ready to listen and be there for this person regardless of my opinions around mental health?How can we respond when someone shares something with us that we cannot relate to or understand? When we can’t relate to an experience, it can be really difficult to listen with intent. If someone is approaching us sharing a hardship, and we don’t recognize the situation as a hardship, that doesn’t mean it isn’t difficult for the person in question. For example, if someone loses their pen and has a panic attack, someone who has never experienced this feeling may consider that person is ‘over-exaggerating’ or ‘crazy’. However, for this person, they may be experiencing obsessive-compulsive symptoms. Their perspective may be that they’ve just lost the item that made them feel safe and in control of their anxiety. Not everyone can relate to this feeling, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t real. And just like people with a herniated disk, people with obsessive-compulsive symptoms need to be given time and support to recover. During COVID, it is particularly important to be mindful of respecting one’s personal space. Conversations can get heated, and living in close proximity to our loved ones can cause discussions to escalate without an escape or a break. If you notice a conversation becoming confrontational or unproductive, honour yourself and your loved one by taking a step back from the conversation, revisiting it at a time when the people involved are ready to speak calmly and listen with intent and empathy.Am I Mentally Prepared to Listen about this Person’s Experience with Mental Health?It’s important to check in with our own mental health before opening our hearts and ears to anyone else. It’s like the aeroplane safety videos say, put on your own safety equipment before helping others, because you won’t be much help if you don’t. Simple Rules to Abide By Listen. Many people with mental health concerns are in need of someone to share with. A lot of the time, talking things through and verbalizing our anxieties can put them into perspective. Take some of the pressure off of yourself, you don’t have to have any answers to fix your loved ones mental health. Offering your time and attention, showing you care and are there to support them, is enough.Mirror their tone. It’s super common for people to use humour as a defence mechanism. If the person you’re talking to is laughing about their own mental health, it could be that they are doing it to cope through the conversation, in which case, if it comes naturally to you and you’re comfortable with the person, you can laugh too. If they aren’t laughing though, neither should you.Be careful with recommendations. ‘Oh you have X? I’ve heard Y is the BEST for treating X!’ – If they’re talking to you about X, they’ve probably heard of Y. Heck, they may even have tried it already! Recommendations are fine and may be appreciated, but just recognize that the person hearing your suggestions may… Not be ready to hear it; Not be ready to take the information in; Already have tried it; Just want to talk and share their frustrations.Unless you’re a healthcare provider with experience in the mental health space, you likely aren’t going to know enough to be able to recommend specific treatments. By all means, offer help in researching treatment plans, but you shouldn’t assume to know what is best for the individual unless you have had formal training. Remember, we’re all different! What worked for a friend in a similar situation may not work for everyone. We all have unique reasons for our mental state, and we all have different responses to types of therapy, treatment and medication.How to Access Support If you’re doing research looking for suggestions for your loved one for treatment, here’s what you need to know. Currently, worldwide, access to in-person therapy is limited due to COVID. In certain areas, in-person therapy may be an option. For the areas that it’s not, there are online treatment plans available.Online therapy allows people to get help from the comfort of their homes, which for many, is incredibly convenient in 2020. The best form of treatment known for folks who are experiencing obsessive-compulsive symptoms is a form of therapy known as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). This approach is available online as well as in-person. There are also self-help practices that people with mental health concerns may wish to try, such as meditation or breathing exercises, but depending on the severity of the challenges or symptoms, seeking professional help may be more suited.When speaking with a loved one about mental health, remember to approach the conversation with empathy and patience. Seeking help for our mental health is tough, and the person struggling may need time before they can ask for the help they may need. Discuss options with them in an open-minded way without expectations. If your loved one has shared that they are planning to harm themselves or others, seek urgent support by calling 911, going to your nearest Emergency Department, or by reaching out to HERE 24/7. _______ Written by: Gabie Lazareff Gabie Lazareff is a certified health coach, yoga teacher and freelance nutrition & wellness writer. After years of navigating the messy waters of mental health, her mission is to share her experiences and advice with others.
How COVID-19 Can Make Us Feel Alone: 5 Ways To Help That 13 August 2020 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Guest Post, Life Coaching, Relationships, Self Care As the coronavirus pandemic continues, many of us are feeling lonely. Our usual routines of seeing friends, family, even colleagues, are no longer the norm and the social habits we used to adhere to have changed. Consequently, loneliness is a genuine and growing problem. But there are ways to combat it yourself. The lockdown has eased and social gatherings are now permitted, albeit with certain restrictions. But even then, some of us may not feel comfortable coming into contact with groups of people. We may still be shielding as a precaution and the thought of socializing after such a prolonged period in isolation might seem daunting. If COVID-19 has left you feeling lonely, read on to discover a few ways that you can help it. Live in the moment If you’re feeling lonely, it can be tempting to think that this will last forever, especially with the world in such disarray. Indeed, with questions persisting of how long this ‘new normal’ will last, when the next spike will arrive, how to prepare for the future, and so on, you might be feeling physically and mentally exhausted. If you are diabetic, for instance, you might be in a constant state of apprehension at the thought of shielding for the foreseeable future. Government programs that provide financial relief for self-isolating workers won’t last forever, and the question of whether to remain shielding or return will only amplify that further. Trans people are also in a similar situation. With medical resources being diverted toward coronavirus, effective and inclusive treatments have become increasingly difficult to find. The uncertainty of when (or if) they will receive their required medication causes immense stress and apprehension, impacting their mental health as a result. And there are doubtless many parents who relied on school or summer camps to help ease the burden of childcare. For single parents, this will only be exacerbated — when your life is a balancing act of work and childcare, it leaves little time for socializing, amplifying feelings of loneliness as a result. Consequently, it’s important to live in the moment as much as possible. Enjoy the physical and sensual things around you. The smell of coffee, the sound of leaves rustling in the wind, the feel of the sun on your face — these are all simple pleasures that we often overlook while focusing on the what-ifs of the future. Mindfulness is an especially effective technique for helping you achieve this. Focus on the situation around you and try to shut out other thoughts. You might find it helpful to use a mindfulness app such as Calm to help you achieve this. Seek therapy where necessary Loneliness is something virtually everyone experiences at some point in our lives. Even the most bubbly and vivacious people feel lonely at times. But in some cases, loneliness can be so debilitating that it requires professional, informed insight to help us work through our issues and find the answers within. One can even feel lonely in relationships, even during the lockdown. Someone might be struggling with their mental health and retreat into themselves, even isolating from their partner, housemates, family, friends, colleagues, even their own children. Professional insight can give us a sense of perspective, helping us navigate these difficult and unusual times. This applies whether you’re in a relationship or solo. Independent, informed exploration of your feelings gives you valuable insight into your relationships, both romantic and otherwise, so you can understand better how to love yourself on your own terms. Start a project to distract the mind Being alone isn’t necessarily a bad thing — it’s just how you deal with being alone that matters. Some people are quite comfortable being alone, while others struggle. Introverted people, in particular, might find the new easing of restrictions actually exacerbates their loneliness. It can seem as though everyone else relishes the chance to meet and socialize again, with introverts feeling like the odd one out for not sharing that excitement. Starting a project is a great way to distract your mind and help you enjoy your alone time. A good project gives your mind something practical to focus on, other than ruminating on your loneliness. It forces your brain to think, challenging it to solve a problem. Jigsaws are a good example of this. A complex puzzle requires the mind to think, and the final result makes one feel productive. Similarly, you might find painting a therapeutic project to fill your mind for the same reasons. Whatever project you choose, remember to pour yourself into it. Let it fill your mind and give purpose to your solo time, distracting yourself from your negative thought cycle. This is easier said than done, of course — some may have deeper traumas that are more difficult to manage. But a common CBT technique might prove useful for some here. View your mind as a clear blue sky, and your thoughts as clouds. If an intrusive, negative thought drifts into your mind, don’t fixate on it. Instead, simply acknowledge it is there, and return your focus to the task at hand. This helps you push past intrusive thoughts, giving you some degree of control, not over your thoughts themselves, but certainly how they manifest within your mind. Make the most of video calls During the lockdown, it’s easy to neglect the usual relationships we have. Unable to see friends, family, and loved ones in person, we can easily stay inside without talking to anyone for days, and it becomes a habit. But it’s crucial that you take steps to pursue those connections. Video technology like Zoom or Houseparty makes it easy to stay in touch with loved ones. You’ve likely played an online quiz with friends, family, loved ones, or colleagues, for instance. But some people have taken video calls to creative new heights — virtual picnics, virtual card games, even a virtual happy hour. For introverts, these activities can still seem quite daunting, even with loved ones via a video call. Instead, something like Netflix Party offers a more subdued social activity that you can enjoy via video. This is a particularly great option for parents too. Reach out to a fellow parent and stick on a film for the kids, while you can have a catch-up via video. If you are LGBTQI2S+ and have suddenly found yourself living at home again, you might experience difficulties with your family members. Not all families are as inclusive, and video calls with fellow LGBTQI2S+ offer welcome relief. It’s worth trawling LGBTQI2S+ Reddit communities here — reach out to others in the same situation and arrange a video call. Connecting with someone in the same situation can be a wonderful salve for loneliness. Just as you might usually meet up with a colleague for a lunchtime coffee or have an evening walk with a friend, take those meetings online with a video hangout. Arrange to have an online quiz or game of cards — whatever it is, as long as you’re staying in touch, even virtually. No, it’s not the same thing as meeting up with someone in real life. But it builds social habits that will tide you through these difficult times. Make a plan for your day and beyond A good plan is essential for staving off loneliness and building a positive mental mindset. This is particularly true during the lockdown, as our usual routines have been thrown into disarray. Plan your day, week, and month so you know what to expect. Create a routine and wake, eat, exercise, and sleep at the same time every day (as much as possible). This builds good mental stability and prevents you from wallowing. But this planning extends beyond your day ahead of you. It’s also worth planning what you want to do once the lockdown has lifted. Think about loved ones you want to visit and places you want to see — this gives you something to look forward to and buoys your spirits when you need it most. Loneliness can happen to us all, and if left unmanaged, it can lead to serious mental health issues over time. Follow the tips above and take steps to help manage your loneliness and keep your head above water during the pandemic. _______________ Written by Orion Talmay Orion Talmay is a wellness expert and love coach. Through her integrative approach, Orion’s Method, she helps women awaken their inner goddess and nurture their feminine confidence. Orion is a graduate of Tony Robbins’ Mastery University and holds certifications with the AAPT, KBA, and AFFA.”
Inner Balance: Time for Yourself 30 July 2019 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Fitness, Guest Post, Inspiration, Life Coaching, Self Care Finding time for yourself is something we all struggle with, but it’s essential for peace of mind and mental wellbeing. If you want to know how those zen-like friends of yours do it, all you have to do is take a look at how they spend those precious few hours of spare time they get each week. It can be tempting to just pull out Facebook and see what everyone’s up to, but all that does is set your mind racing as you inundate yourself with information. Take a look at the following wise words and you’ll be able to enjoy every second of life as you restore your inner balance. Take Some Time to Just Sit and Listen to the Birds There’s a lot to be said for embracing boredom and leaving your phone in your pocket, so why not give it a try? It’s something we could all do with doing a little more often, and it’s a great way to start your day. Taking the time to make yourself a cup of coffee and sit outside in the garden is the ideal quiet start to what will likely prove to be a hectic day. It’s a chance to ground yourself, to relax, and to take in the simple things in life. If you do it every day for a week, it’ll become a key part of your daily routine that you can’t do without. Head to a Clinic for a Pampering Session Cosmetic clinics are the place to go to if you want to really pamper yourself. By having an expert use their skills to soothe your body and put your mind at ease you can get the best of both worlds. Ideal if you want to feel refreshed the moment you wake up the next morning. It’s also a great way to spend some time with the best friend you’ve been meaning to catch up with for ages now. Get together for some coffee beforehand, and then show each other the results of your latest beauty session. It won’t just help you love the way you look, it’ll also make you feel at home in your own skin as you centre yourself. Take a Walk Late in the Evening The evenings aren’t solely devoted to TV and social media if you don’t want them to be. Taking the dog for a walk as the sun goes down is a great way to let your hair down and enjoy one of the simple things in life. It’s a chance to get plenty of fresh air before bed, and the break from screens will give your eyes a chance to rest. Some people even leave their phone at home so they can totally disconnect for an hour so. Binge Watch Your Favourite Shows Despite what we just said in the last point, binge watching is one of the most fun ways to rest and relax. It allows you to immerse yourself in a whole new universe of entertainment, and to lose yourself in a story. If you find a series you’re hooked on, keep watching it. There’s nothing better than getting into a plot and picking out your favourite characters. Find a friend who’s watching the same show and you’ll have something to chat about when you meet up next week. Join the Gym and Take Pride in Your Fitness Joining the gym is a great way to restore your inner balance, and it’s easier to do than you might think. If you’re new to exercise it can feel intimidating going to a muscle bound gym, so why not go with a friend? You could avoid the peak hours straight after work, and go on the weekend morning for a little while as you build your confidence. One thing is for sure, once you start going and you see some gains, you’ll be hooked. It’ll give you confidence, balance, and something to focus on. Start Baking Healthy Sweet Treats Baking is a great mindful activity that will have you feeling at ease in no time at all. Pick a recipe you’ve been meaning to try, walk to the shop, and then get busy rustling up something amazing. It doesn’t even matter if you don’t nail it the first time — the key point is that you’ve got yourself moving and thinking about something new. Just by working with your hands you’ll be stimulating new parts of your brain that you don’t necessarily use during work hours. Take your pick from the options above, think about how you can fit them into your daily routine, and then dive in feet first. It might sound easier said than done, but when you make a start you’ll find you really don’t want to stop. It’ll certainly be worth it when you wake up relaxed and refreshed every single morning. About the Author: Rebecca is a translator by day, and a traveler mostly at night. She is an expert on living with jet lag – and packing in tiny suitcases. You can read more of her exploits at RoughDraft.
5 Work/Life Balance Tips for Incredible Mompreneurs 2 July 2019 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Guest Post, Inspiration, Life Coaching, Self Care, Uncategorised Being a mom is never easy. Mom is also a nurse, a chef, and teacher. It brings immeasurable joy to the heart, but there’s no shame in admitting that sometimes things get really hard. When mom also has entrepreneurial ambitions, finding a work-life balance can be complicated because there’s her work on one side and her children on another. Add a significant other into the mix and things can get quite chaotic. Here are some tips on how to get work and life balance in order. 1. Exercise Sitting in the office all day can be a disaster for the back. Even if you work from home, chances are that you spend a lot of time sitting. It’s important to find some time off to work out. There are few ways to exercise: in a group, in pairs or individually. If time and money allow, go to a gym and find a personal trainer. In case that’s not possible, try working out at home or find a group of people to exercise with. Home workouts are also good since it lets you do it on your own terms. 2. Get organized Knowing when to do something and at what time can be immensely helpful for organizing day-to-day activities. Using containers to make meals in advance and vacuum bags will help you arrange your food and clothes for the week. Learn how to multi-task efficiently. For work, using a good project management tool can significantly reduce work-related stress. There are countless other apps that can be helpful in managing professional and personal activities, and if you’re more of an old-school type, then get a quality notebook planner and keep it with you all the time. 3. Learn to relax Doing laundry, cooking meals and reading bedtime stories is already exhausting, but when you add work deadlines and demanding clients, things get more difficult. That’s why it’s necessary to take some time off and loosen up a bit. Having a bath, reading, watching TV can be relaxing and energizing at the same time. Additionally, treating yourself for a professional massage experience can help you unwind and forget your daily worries, even only for a bit. Mental well-being is crucial to stay focused and thrive. Being alone can be beneficial for recollecting thoughts and decompressing. Also, having regular date nights with your spouse can help you two reconnect and add some zest to your marriage. 4. Know when to say no Being a mompreneur can be very empowering, however, shuffling work duties, money management, family responsibilities, and personal care can put you under significant strain, but it can be done as long as there are set boundaries. Especially if you’re the type everyone relies on. Being needed can be stimulating sometimes, but one must learn how to say no. Prioritizing tasks is what separates successful people from those who do everything for everybody. Remember that your family and your health should always come first. Everything else is less important. 5. Ask for help Having a great career or a business of your own is a notable achievement by itself. Adding a family to the mix can make things complete. But no matter how hard-working you are, there are times when you’ll feel tired. That’s fine and shouldn’t be treated as a failure. We all need a hand sometimes, even the mompreneurs. Asking for help is not something to be embarrassed about. Relying on your partner is much better and can help bring the family together. Also, being in touch with other mompreneurs can significantly help you learn and find support when you need it the most. After all, people who are similar to you can also understand you better and empathize with you on a deeper level. Just remember that being a superwoman doesn’t mean doing everything by yourself. Asking for help is crucial if you want to thrive in all aspects of your life. Written by: Sophia Smith Sophia Smith is a beauty blogger, eco-lifestyle lover, graphic designer and food enthusiast. She is focusing on minimalism and good quality. Her other hobbies center around her love for nature, well-being and living in balance. Sophia writes mostly about beauty-related topics in her blogs and articles. She has contributed to a number of publications including: Life Goals Mag, Savant Magazine, Secret Garden, Bonvita Style, Cause Artist and Book Meditation Retreats. You can find out more about her writing by following her on: Facebook Twitter Google +
Why You Should Consider Yoga and Meditation 13 May 2019 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Fitness, Guest Post, Individual Therapy, Inspiration, Life Coaching, Self Care It is estimated that one in five adults will experience a mental illness in any given year with anxiety disorders as the leading cause. Mental illness is recognized when an individual shows ongoing signs and symptoms of stress that affect their ability to function. Mental illness may impact a person’s mood, behavior, and capacity to think or concentrate. While those suffering from mental illness may feel alone, lost, or incapacitated, research has shown that along with diet and exercise, mindfulness practices such as yoga and meditation can offer amazing benefits that may help some to reduce and/or manage symptoms of mental illness. Benefits of Yoga Yoga is one of the oldest body-and-mind practices in the world dating back nearly 5,000 years. Through the use of body positions and postures, breathing techniques, and mindful meditation, yoga provides several benefits to help manage your mental illness. Here are three. Improves Heart Rate Variability Heart Rate variability is based on how your heart rate varies when you inhale and exhale. A higher variability is an indicator of physical and mental resilience. Studies show that practicing yoga for as little as six weeks shows an improved heart rate variability as well as a lower resting heart rate; two indicators of a strong stress-response. Cultivates Positive Thinking Mental illness is often identified by chronic or frequent bouts of sadness, emptiness, and irritability that impacts a person’s ability to function. Studies have shown that the physical and mindfulness of yoga actually changes the long-term effects of how your brain responds to depression, in some ways acting as a natural antidepressant. Creates Better Understanding of Self The mindfulness and mental development promoted by yoga helps a person realize “shadow” qualities they did not know they possessed. Whether those qualities are empathy toward others, confidence, the ability to overcome obstacles, or greater control over mind and body, yoga can open profound possibility. Benefits of Meditation Meditation is the practice of achieving mental clarity and emotional calm through mindfulness and awareness techniques. The goal of meditation is to bring a person into the “now” while putting aside the stressors brought on by overthinking the past and future. Here are three ways meditation can benefit mental illness. Improves Sleep Insomnia is a leading cause of mental illness causing a disruption in your circadian rhythm and sleep patterns. Meditation helps to reduce insomnia and improve sleep quality by focusing your mind on the now rather than the past which cannot be changed and the future which is unpredictable. This awareness helps to place perspective on your surroundings and ease your mind of daily stress leading to a sounder sleep. Reduces the Chemical Cytokines Cytokines are inflammatory chemicals that your body releases in response to stress. They can have a negative impact on your mood and emotions. In fact, one scientific-based study on meditation showed significant measurable signs of positive thinking and optimism. Can Control Pain How you perceive pain has a direct connection to your state of mind. For people who experience mental illness, their perception of pain can be elevated while experiencing stressful conditions. Meditation has been shown to increase brain activity in areas that control pain. In fact, meditation is used to manage chronic pain for people with terminal illnesses such as cancer. Yoga and meditation whether practiced independently or symbiotically have been shown to improve the negative effects of mental illness by creating mental and physical awareness, improving sleep, and directly impacting your body’s chemical imbalances to create a positive mental state of being. So, if you’re looking for a mindful way to manage mental illness, ten minutes of yoga or meditation is a great start. About the Author: Laurie is a writer based on the east coast who enjoys spending her days writing on health and wellness topics. In her free time, she loves doing anything that gets her outdoors breathing fresh air.
5 Mindfulness Practices from Powerful Women 29 April 2019 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Guest Post, Inspiration, Life Coaching, Self Care Being stress-free in the 21stcentury is not all that easy. The pressure from work, family, exercise, studying and leaving some time to hang out with friends can be quite overwhelming. Our mind is constantly working, it has no pause, and the worst thing is that it is always creating different scenarios, making us feel anxious and depressed. It all sounds so negative and scary but with some tips on mindfulness, you can be one step closer to living a better life. There is a big difference between being lonely and alone Loneliness is the number one reason behind depression, according to many people. Not having somebody to share your troubles with or simply talk can severely damage even our brain function in addition to making us depressed. However, keep in mind that being alone doesn’t necessarily mean you are lonely. In fact, research shows that it is good for us to spend some time alone. The philosophy behind this is that we will get to know ourselves better. We will be in touch with our needs and wishes. When It comes to relationships, we will be sure that we are a part of it because we want to be, not because we are lonely and in need of a companion. It might sound cheesy, but get to know and love yourself first, only then will you be able to have meaningful connections. Don’t be too hard on yourself Self-criticism can be a good thing if used correctly. You should look at everything you do objectively and you shouldn’t praise yourself if you have done something wrong. But there is a line that has to be drawn somewhere. A line where you will stop with negative thoughts and turn more towards self-support. Whatever the reason may be: you haven’t accomplished something you wanted to by a certain age or you feel like a failure in some way, always keep in mind that there is time. So, give it some time, pick yourself up, and start from where you left off. Simply by trying you will feel much better. Overthinking is our biggest enemy Rationalizing your problems, tasks, and everyday life is very effective. Thinking ahead also. However, overthinking is something you should step away from. By doing that we are creating additional problems that we don’t already have. As opposed to doing this, stay in the present. Think about what your current situation is, and, to put it simply, go with the flow. Learn to resolve your problems once they really do become a problem, not in advance. Take some burden off yourself and enjoy life day by day. Pampering yourself is not a luxury A connection exists between your mind and body, even scientists think so. Before thinking about taking care of your body, make some time for your mind as well. Simple things are quite effective, like reading a book, decorating, listening to music or being with people who inspire you. Once we have settled this, the body will follow, although it wouldn’t hurt to help a bit. Even if you think that you are indulging way too much if you book a spa treatment or get a manicure, the truth is that sometimes this kind of spoiling is exactly what you need. In addition to being in touch with your nature and character, it is important to take care of your physical appearance in order to feel good. It doesn’t need to be anything luxurious as long as it is within natural product lines. Even better, something like cruelty free makeup lets you take care of your appearance while still feeling good about the products you use. And don’t worry, because there is a big market to choose from. Breathing exercises and mediation If you are into meditation or yoga, practicing it is most certainly beneficial for both your physical and mental health. But don’t get too caught up in the traditional meaning of meditation. If you like lying on the bedroom floor and listening to music or cleaning to help with anxiety, then, by all means, do it. It can be your own version of mediation. The form is not important as long as it makes you feel better. The whole concept of mindfulness is not to suppress our thoughts, but to enjoy experiences in life without overthinking. Written by: Sophia Smith Sophia Smith is a beauty blogger, eco-lifestyle lover, graphic designer and food enthusiast. She is focusing on minimalism and good quality. Her other hobbies center around her love for nature, well-being and living in balance. Sophia writes mostly about beauty-related topics in her blogs and articles. She has contributed to a number of publications including: Life Goals Mag, Savant Magazine, Secret Garden, Bonvita Style, Cause Artist and Book Meditation Retreats. You can find out more about her writing by following her on: Facebook Twitter Google +
Sex, Relationships, and Blended Families 2 March 2018 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Life Coaching, Relationship Therapy, Relationships, Sex Therapy Keeping the spark alive in your relationship, especially when parenting and blended family struggles kick in, can become challenging. Therefore, being on the same page as your partner despite these stressors is essential to maintaining a healthy relationship. Bliss Counselling’s very own sexologist, Kelly McDonnell-Arnold, and Stepmom coach, Jamie Scrimgeour, discuss tips and tricks on preventing these stressors from entering the bedroom! Check out the video below!
Yama #1: Practicing Ahimsa 25 May 2017 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Individual Therapy, Life Coaching I first learnt about Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras while staying at an Ashram in Rishikesh, India. Patanjali discusses the eight limbs of yoga, the first of which is Yama. The five Yamas are a set of moral values. The first Yama in Sanskrit is called Ahimsa which means non-harming. It consists of being kind to yourself and all other living creatures. Are you mindful of your thoughts, words and actions? “Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony.” Mahatma Gandhi Practicing Ahimsa starts as soon as you wake up in the morning. Most of the time we are in such a rush getting ready for work and organizing the day that we don’t take a moment to appreciate the simple things around us. For instance, the food in the fridge and cupboards, unlimited water right from the tap, the bed you slept in, the blankets that kept you warm. Try taking a moment to appreciate all the gifts that are easily at your grasp. Then praise yourself for being kind to your body by giving it rest, water, and food to provide yourself energy during the day. Additionally, how often do you reflect on the kind things you did for yourself and others throughout your day? Did you take time to do things you enjoy such as reading, cooking, or exercise? It is common to feel more energized and less stressed when you take time to engage in activities you enjoy. A big phenomenon in today’s media saturated society is body image. It is common for people to start comparing themselves to the images they see in magazines and movies. Yet another way to practice Ahimsa is to love yourself, including your body and the abilities that you possess. Everyone has a different body structure and we are all unique beings – embrace the gifts and quirks you are given. Many people attend the gym or an exercise program that works for them, whether it is because they want to make healthy changes, gain self-confidence or relieve anxiety and stress. It is common for people to start feeling better about themselves after exercise. However, it is also important for everyone to listen to their body. When we don’t listen to our bodies, injuries, illnesses and negative self-talk can occur. For instance, if you are in a yoga class trying to hold tree pose but your balance is off, be kind to yourself. Our first reaction may be to think “why can’t I do this” or “your balance is not good enough.” Instead, it is important to let any judgment and expectation go. Praise yourself for showing up to your mat and practicing self-care. Are you practicing Ahimsa toward other beings in your life? It is important to practice kindness not only with ourselves, but also with other people, creatures and the environment. Are you kind to the people and pets in your home? Are you taking time to wish them a good morning and ensuring they also get food, water and affection? Showing people and animals that you care about them makes them feel loved and valued. If you live on your own, make sure you take a look in the mirror and give yourself a smile and wish yourself a good morning. Do you greet people with a friendly smile on the street or when you enter your workplace? A smile can be contagious and can spread more positive vibes. Do you take an interest in other people by learning about them and effectively listening to what they are saying? Being in the present moment giving them your undivided attention shows the person they are important and what they have to say matters. Do you offer to help others, whether it is opening the door or simply offering your assistance if you see someone struggle? When you offer your help to others it not only benefits them, but it can also make you feel happier. This blog asks several creative questions. These questions help you gain insight into your inner world and outer world, and help you to become the best version of yourself. You may notice some people do not smile back or offer a helping hand. It is still important to be kind with your words, thoughts and actions. Sometimes we don’t know what hardships other people are going through. It is important to be compassionate and pass no judgement. Embrace the journey, we are all human and can make mistakes. As you practice Ahimsa, you’ll start diving into deeper self-reflection, find inner peace, and discover the gifts in your life. Ahimsa is the first Yama, however there are still four more. The Yamas will be continued. Thank you for taking the time to read this blog about Ahimsa. Remember be kind to yourself and all other living beings. Stacey Harris, MSW, RSW
What Is Happiness? 11 May 2017 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Guest Post, Individual Therapy, Life Coaching What do Taylor Swift, that guy whose best attempt at romance was to send you a picture of his junk, and bell hooks have in common? Well, if we managed to look past the catchy lyrics, the nauseating brocabulary, and the penetrating eloquence, we’d see that they all just want to be happy. But what is happiness, anyway? I know it seems like a question for philosophers, but as a therapist I’ve learned that how we define happiness actually has serious implications for our mental health. Most of us grow up believing that happiness is the emotion we feel when things go our way. Good grades, good relationships, good job, good health, that sort of thing. Most basically, it’s about the presence of pleasure and the absence of pain. This concept of happiness is so normal that it seems weird even to think about it. The bad news is, this happiness has a serious dark side. For starters, it’s actually impossible to control things so that we only feel pleasure and never feel pain. Built right into gain, praise, pleasure and life are loss, blame, pain and death; trying to cling to one side of the coin while rejecting the other is like, well, trying to cling to one side of a coin and rejecting the other. The other problem is that when we try to cling to pleasure and avoid pain, we tend to act in less than awesome ways. Addiction, abuse, neglect, deceit, manipulation, people-pleasing and even more macro level issues like economic exploitation and environmental destruction can all be traced back to a fundamental attachment to pleasure and avoidance of pain. The worst part? Even when we do manage to grab onto this happiness, it tends to be pretty superficial, and it disappears all too quickly. In summary, the conventional brand of happiness kind of sucks. The good news is, there’s a competing vision of happiness: not the presence of pleasure and absence of pain, but a life lived in accordance with one’s values. Our values are what we cherish most deeply – depending on the person, they could be stuff like compassion, adventure, family, love or humour – and, if we want to get really philosophical about it, they’re an expression of our most authentic selves. The happiness of authenticity has nothing to do with feeling good and not feeling bad. This type of happiness recognizes that humans just sometimes feel terrible and sometimes feel great, sometimes win and sometimes lose. With this happiness, we shift our focus from that fact – which we can’t control – to what we can control, that is, whether or not to act in alignment with our values regardless of the circumstances. The added bonus is that if we’re not chasing pleasure and avoiding pain, we’re much less likely to be awful to each other and ourselves. The best part? Acting in alignment with our values leads to a deep, lasting contentment that makes pleasure and pain seem feeble in comparison. It also happens to be the foundation of unshakable self-esteem. But don’t take my word for it; experiment with chasing this second type of happiness rather than the first, and see how quickly it changes everything. (This article was originally published in the February 2017 issue of The Community Edition.) John is a therapist and coach with two Master’s degrees in counselling and four years of clinical experience. He is self-employed at Transformation Counselling and works with adolescents and adults on issues ranging from trauma and addiction to dating and spirituality. In his spare time, he loves to hike, reflect on the meaning of life, and eat nachos.
Balance and Blood Sugar 20 April 2017 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Guest Post, Life Coaching I am frequently – constantly – asked about tips and tricks for weight loss. I have heard every outrageous claim, from the ‘wrap yourself in plastic while you sleep’ trick to requests for high doses of cinnamon that a certain famous television doctor claimed will do the trick. In reality, this is about six degrees of separation from what cinnamon actually does: balance your blood sugar. Balancing your blood sugar throughout the day actually WILL help you to become happier and healthier, will stabilize your moods and energies, and help you to shed a few pesky pounds over time. When we eat carbohydrates, which break down into sugars or glucose in the body, our pancreas secretes insulin (a hormone) in an effort to control that spike in blood glucose, or blood sugar levels. Insulin carries glucose to our cells to be utilized for energy. Unfortunately, if that glucose isn’t used up for energy immediately, it will be carried to the liver where it’s converted into glycogen, which is then stored as fat. If we were ever to find ourselves without food this process would be a very welcome lifesaver. Our body would burn the fat stores for energy, helping us to survive until the next meal. But most of us tend to see a lot of feast, and not a lot of famine. To maintain a healthy blood sugar balance, keep energy stable, and keep metabolic functions optimal, it is beneficial to include a trifold of macronutrients in a healthy balance at every meal: protein, fat and carbohydrates. Carbohydrates provide you with fuel to convert to glucose, protein helps the body utilize glucose for energy in a slow-release capacity, and fat helps to slow down the absorption of glucose in the bloodstream which leaves you feeling satiated. Without this delicate balance things can go a little squirrely, creating blood sugar spikes and crashes, mental fogginess, fatigue, mood swings, and ultimately, weight gain. Starting each day with a protein-heavy meal to help fuel the body first thing will balance and moderate blood sugar throughout the day. You could try a small portion of sugar-free, organic greek yogurt topped with fresh berries and cinnamon, or a spinach smoothie with a tbsp of your favourite natural nut butter. I also recommend finishing the day with a light protein based snack which will help your body to moderate blood sugar as you sleep and wake up hungry. A handful of almonds or a tablespoon of hummus with carrots should do the trick. I tend to lean towards a balance of a few servings of animal based protein a week (eggs, meat, dairy) with veggie proteins found in beans and legumes. One of my favourite go-to snacks that keeps me full and energized is my Black Bean Nacho Dip (also now my signature dish at parties, by request). Go get your balance on! Black Bean Vegan Nacho Dip Need: **four small containers 1 can black beans 1 can chickpeas 1 avocado cherry tomatos cilantro lemon lime jalapeño red onion red pepper green onion Tofutti ‘sour cream’ Daiya Vegan ‘chedder cheese’ salt and pepper Hummus (can use pre-made) 1 can rinsed chickpeas 1 lemon juiced 1/2 tsp cajun spice 1/2 tsp sea salt 1 tsp black pepper 1/2 jalepeno with seeds *optional and to taste* Blend until smooth Nacho Dip 1 can black beans – rinsed – ground lightly in food processor or blender Mix in: 1/2 tsp. cumin 1/2 tsp. chili powder 1/2 tsp. garlic powder evenly distribute black bean mixture in containers layer on hummus, salsa, sour cream, Daiya Vegan Cheese top with red onion, red pepper, avocado, cilantro and whole cherry tomatoes and lime juice serve with organic, non GMO corn chips or veggie sticks AMBER ELIZABETH REGISTERED HOLISTIC NUTRITIONIST R.H.N 519.497.881 www.AmberElizabethNutrition.com Amber is a Registered Holistic Nutritionist who graduated from the Canadian School of Natural Nutrition. Since graduating, Amber has sought extensive training in homeopathics, botanicals, supplementation and a wide variety of holistic modalities. Using science-based nutrition and symptomatology, she is able to help clients to better understand their individual needs, identify their goals and in turn, live their most balanced, vibrant lives. Her foundation is to educate clients and to help them create and maintain long-term, healthy lifestyle choices. Amber has propelled her interest in the concept of living well into a passion for education, cooking, and exploring the holistic side of life. Holistic or holism is defined as: the theory that parts of a whole are in intimate connection, such that they cannot exist independently of the whole or cannot be understood without reference to the whole, which is thus regarded as greater than the sum of its parts. Holism is often applied to mental states, language, and ecology.