Getting to know Sheila & Acceptance and Commitment Therapy 16 February 2022 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Communication, Events, Individual Therapy, Inspiration, Relationship Therapy, Self Care, Therapy, Uncategorised, Workshops Sheila McDonough is one of our very own therapists at Bliss Counselling + Psychotherapy!. Sheila earned her undergraduate degree with a Major in Social Development Studies and a Certificate in Social Work from Renison University College at the University of Waterloo. Sheila is a Master of Social Work with a Degree from Wilfrid Laurier University in the individual, couple and family stream. Sheila specializes in individuals and relationships and is a Registered Social Worker and a member in good standing with the Ontario College of Social Worker and Social Service Workers and the Ontario Association of Social Workers. Where it all started: In her early 20s Sheila experienced delayed grief, which led her to engage in psychotherapy. Through this experience Sheila realized the value of psychotherapy. Following this experience, Sheila began her journey to become a psychotherapist. Sheila had been working in marketing and sales. Sheila realized her natural skills and talents were useful in developing the therapeutic alliance which is the curative factor in psychotherapy and in all helping professions. This shift in career focus has led Sheila to a very meaningful and satisfying career. She feels very honoured to walk with people as they reflect and work towards making meaningful changes in their lives. Sheila has worked as a Registered Social Worker for the past 15 years primarily in the areas of trauma and mental health. In those 15 years, Sheila has spent more than 10 years in a hospital setting providing outpatient mental health services, emergency mental health services and acute trauma treatment in the areas of sexual assault and domestic violence. In the last 2 years, Sheila has really enjoyed working more with couples. She loves helping couples improve their communication and create more loving and meaningful relationships. Sheila aims to hold each person in esteem, while challenging them to look at how they can change to improve the quality of their relationship. Sheila’s primary approach to working with individuals and couples focuses heavily on incorporating mindfulness. Sheila has studied and practiced mindfulness for more than 25 years. It is the cornerstone of the therapeutic approaches Sheila uses in her therapy sessions. Sheila is a lifelong learner and has postgraduate training in the areas of mindfulness, DBT (Dialectical Behavioural Therapy) and ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy). Sheila believes present moment awareness is essential to making meaningful changes in our lives. Sheila uses an eclectic approach in therapy. This is why she values the ACT model. ACT embodies the main elements Sheila uses in her sessions (i.e. mindfulness, DBT, and compassion). ACT provides a framework to help people ground themselves and increase psychological flexibility. The approach allows a person to recognize a choice point to work towards meaningful change in their life. What is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: ACT helps people open up and respond more effectively to difficult emotions and thoughts. ACT helps a person to recognize their personal values and to move toward more value based behaviours. When using ACT a client will be able to see how small subtle challenges in life can be traced to a conflict in their own value system. This increased awareness then helps the client with unhooking themselves from the negative cycle so that they may move toward who and what is important to them. Sheila loves the following quote and feels it embodies the essence of the ACT model: “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” – Viktor E. Frankl We wanted to unpack the positive impacts of using ACT as an effective and evidence-based approach to therapy, so we interviewed Sheila to learn more. Here’s what she shared: How is ACT used in a therapy session? People will often want to get rid of unwanted thoughts and emotions. But, that’s not entirely possible. Instead, in an ACT session, clients are encouraged to accept these unwanted thoughts and behaviours, to cultivate present moment awareness, to learn how to recognize cognitive distortions and work towards value based and committed actions. How many sessions will it take to notice a positive change? The number of sessions will depend on each individual. Typically clients benefit from 6-8 sessions. Some clients may wish to pursue while others may wish to receive ongoing sessions (16-24), over several months or years. Some clients will attend a few sessions, then return in the future to explore their life in greater depth. Who would benefit from ACT? People with a wide range of challenges may benefit from ACT treatment (i.e. depression, anxiety, Borderline Personality, post traumatic stress symptoms stress, substance use and chronic pain) How might ACT be incorporated into a person’s life outside of the session? Clients learn how to ground themselves, to become an observer of their thoughts and feelings and how to work on committed action so that they may move toward who and what is important to them. Goals are set at the end of each individual or group session. Does ACT sound like an approach that you might like to explore? Look no further. Find out how to join our upcoming ACT Group Therapy! Sheila McDonough (MSW, RSW) and fellow Bliss expert Valentina Messier (RP,) are hosting an upcoming Acceptance and Commitment Therapy workshop series. This workshop series will be held virtually from the comfort of your home via Zoom. Heal through the power of connection in a small group setting! Prepare yourself to engage in group activities and discussions for 120 minutes, once a week for five weeks starting Saturday, March 26th and ending April 30th (excluding Easter weekend Saturday, April 16th). Are you ready to join Bliss Counselling + Psychotherapy’s 5- week virtual ACT workshop? Click here to take the next step in securing a spot in this upcoming group or to be added to the waitlist for future groups. Written By: Sheila McDonough (MSW, RSW) Edited By: Candice Mason (Customer Care Specialist) & Jess Boule (Clinic Manager)
Getting to know Valentina and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy 23 December 2021 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Communication, Events, Inspiration, Self Care, Therapy, Workshops WHO IS VALENTINA: Valentina is one of our very own therapists at Bliss Counselling + Psychotherapy practicing individual therapy. For as long as Valentina can remember, people have felt comfortable opening up to her. She has frequently had strangers join her while sitting on a park bench or at a coffee shop. Valentina feels a sense of value in being able to give others a safe space to listen and to understand them and their story. One day, Valentina connected with a person experiencing Schizophrenia, who shared more with her about their life and the challenges they had been facing. This conversation sparked a curiosity within Valentina that led her to pursue Psychology as her major. Her curiosity to truly see, understand, and accept people as they are, continued to grow and ultimately, lended to her pursuit of a career in Psychotherapy. Valentina obtained her undergraduate and graduate degrees in the United States, at Marquette University and Cardinal Stritch University, respectively. In addition to being a Psychotherapist in Ontario, Canada, Valentina holds a License of Professional Counselling in the state of Wisconsin. During her Clinical Psychology Master’s program, Valentina co-facilitated a Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) group at Aurora Psychiatric Hospital in Wisconsin. This experience further stoked her interest in mindfulness and radical acceptance. She felt motivated to approach those around her with a sense of compassion in order to validate lived experiences and to support them in identifying their own strengths. After graduate school, Valentina began working with marginalized populations in Milwaukee, WI. As part of an interdisciplinary team piloting the CORE (Coordinated Opportunities for Recovery and Empowerment) Program, she actively supported those living with psychosis with the goal to improve the quality of their lives. Through a coordinated effort, Valentina was able to help foster independence for many young adults facing Schizophrenia. She and her colleagues approached hallucinations and delusions with acceptance, rather than dismissal or disapproval. With compassion, Valentina and her team validated their clients’ realities. She offered psychoeducation for families, created strength-based treatment and crisis plans, which incorporated both formal and informal support systems and strategies. Valentina hosted monthly meetings for each client and their circle of care, utilizing open communication and problem solving across the health care team to ensure that the client was well supported, and that ultimately their needs were prioritized. After a move to Canada, Valentina began providing psychotherapy online. It was during this time that she first heard of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Not knowing what it was, Valentina chose to dive into courses and literature. WHAT IS ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is an evidence-based approach to therapy that uses Mindfulness to build awareness of our thoughts, emotions, and behaviours. With this awareness, we are able to observe patterns in our behaviours and thoughts. This then gives us the information we need in order to reflect on whether how we are operating in the world is meaningful and working for us, as well as how we might be able to add value to our lives. Rather than reviewing the content of our thoughts and feelings, we analyze their usefulness. For example, we may encounter a situation where we think, “I’m not good enough.” Instead of asking ourselves, is this thought accurate, ACT encourages us to ask ourselves: Am I placing my focus on one particular thought and is this helping me in some way? By placing my focus on this particular thought, is it bringing me closer to who I want to be? Are my patterns of thoughts and behaviours working for me? Certain therapeutic approaches, such as Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT), ask us to seek out evidence for why we ARE good enough, that is, to consider alternative examples that could counter the negative thought pattern. For some, this is really effective. But, sometimes, there is no amount of evidence that can truly convince us that we are indeed good enough. This is why Valentina loves ACT; it looks at the function of thoughts and feelings rather than their accuracy. When we think, “I’m not good enough,” and then ask ourselves how that thought pattern is working for us, it’s easy to see that it isn’t. Our minds generally want to protect us from pain. Unfortunately, thoughts and feelings are often out of our control; there is no “Delete” button in the brain to get rid of them for good. So while it is important to acknowledge unwanted thoughts and feelings, expending too much of our energy analysing them will not actually change our lives for the better. Ultimately, we may not feel closer to achieving our goals or the life we want, so what could we do instead? Build self-awareness. When we are self-aware, we are able to acknowledge that something is not working. When we realize that something is not working, we can then begin letting go of the unhelpful thoughts and feelings that hook our attention. Mindfulness is incredibly useful for “unhooking” these thoughts. Not only does it bring us into the present moment, but it reminds us that we are not defined by our thinking or our emotions. We are simply observers of our experience. Through Mindfulness, we build flexible attention and foster acceptance of our experience. This approach is liberating and compassionate, it acknowledges and validates the painful experiences in our lives while at the same time giving us our power back. While it is natural for us to allow emotions to dictate our actions, we do not have to let them dominate our lives. Whether in the therapy room, or outside of it, we can approach life through this framework. We can practice mindful awareness in any setting and reflect on our values. The therapy room provides a safe, nonjudgmental space to open up about the painful experiences we encounter. As a Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) with almost a decade of experience and a fellow human, Valentina acknowledges everyone’s emotions as valid and offers understanding and compassionate support. We collaborate as a team to help take steps towards changing life for the better. Change can be intimidating, by having someone along for the journey, to offer encouragement, guidance and reminders of your strengths, can be incredibly helpful. Does ACT sound like an approach that you might like to explore? Then, join Valentina Messier (RP, Qualifying) and fellow Bliss expert Sheila McDonough (MSW, RSW) in our upcoming ACT Now For A New You In 2022 group workshop. The workshop will be held virtually from the comfort of your home via Zoom. Heal through the power of connections with up to ten other like minded individuals! Prepare yourself to engage in group discussions for 90 minutes, once a week for five weeks starting Saturday January 15th and ending February 12th. We’ve got all the information we need, we are interested so just click here to make the next step to booking into our group. Who is ready to join Bliss Counselling + Psychotherapy’s 5- week virtual ACT workshop? All the information is outlined and the interest has been sparked! Just click here to take the next step in securing a spot within the group. Written By: Valentina Messier Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) & Candice Mason, Client Services
Different Therapeutic Approaches Used for Alcohol Addiction Treatment 15 November 2021 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Communication, Guest Post, Individual Therapy, Self Care, Therapy, Uncategorised Alcohol use is marked by an uncontrolled and compulsive need to drink. We may seek treatment regarding alcohol use, if we; feel a compulsion to drink, feel we no longer have control over how much we’re drinking, feel uncomfortable when we are unable to drink. Not having an alcoholic drink may lead to challenges in managing emotions and day to day responsibilities. When seeking treatment for alcohol use, the first step may be to speak with a doctor and to create recovery goals. From this assessment, the doctor will advise the next step, which could include: a treatment centre (inpatient or outpatient), therapy (biofeedback, cognitive behaviour therapy, psychotherapy, family behaviour therapy, or holistic therapy) and/or a support group. Types of Alcohol Addiction Treatment i) Inpatient Rehab Inpatient alcohol rehabilitation offers structured treatment to address multiple facets of a person’s addiction. During this treatment, the patient must live in a substance-free facility where they get round-the-clock support and medical care. Inpatient rehab is good for anyone with chronic addiction and those with co-occurring/behavioural disorders. ii) Outpatient Rehab An outpatient rehab program offers the same level of care, treatment, and therapies as an inpatient one. The only difference is that with the former, the person gets to live at their residence. Outpatient rehabs allow for the individual to continue their daily routines such as: managing jobs, careers, and families. This type of rehabilitation approach may be more appealing to those wanting to maintain their day to day routine. The challenges associated with having access to our home and the surrounding environments (e.g., LCBO, beer store, parties, etc.) could be triggering or create difficulties in maintaining sobriety. Having access to such things can create triggers and a challenge around maintaining sobriety. Therefore, outpatient programs are best suited for those with mild addiction and have a strong support system around them. Therapeutic Approaches Used for Alcohol Addiction Treatment i) Biofeedback Therapy Biofeedback therapy has been researched for over 25 years and has shown to be an effective treatment. The treatment process assists and teaches the client to produce more normal EEG patterns. Biofeedback therapy is a computer based, brain-training technique used to help with developing more control over brainwave activity resulting in improved life functioning. During a typical treatment, sensors are placed on the scalp of a client to measure brainwaves through a computer software system. Each session ranges between 20-60 minutes and it is recommended that a person attend two to three sessions per week. These electronic sensors monitor the ongoing brain activity which is recorded as brain wave patterns. Once the therapist reviews the results, a conversation is had with the client to discuss and recommend additional psychological techniques for working through the addiction. ii) Cognitive Behavioural Therapy Studies tell us that Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is a highly effective method for working through alcohol addiction. The therapist works towards identifying negative and destructive thought patterns and behaviours. The therapist uses CBT to work towards replacing the negative thoughts and behaviours with positive ones. The success of CBT relies on the conversation between a therapist and the client. It is a solution-based therapy that relies more on constructive actions rather than the medical diagnosis itself. Common elements of CBT are – challenging and confronting fears, harmful beliefs, ways to improve social interaction, and coping skills to manage cravings. iii) Psychotherapy During a psychotherapy session, the client discusses their personal challenges and difficult experiences with a registered social worker, registered psychotherapist and/or psychologist. This therapeutic approach can be used in individual, group and family settings. The therapist uses the information collected to analyze a person’s long-standing issues, daily challenges, past traumas, fears, and personal difficulties. If the client wishes to see a psychologist, they would be able to receive a diagnosis and prescribed medication. iv) Family Behaviour Therapy Addiction has multiple facets. It affects not only the individual suffering with the addiction but those closest to the person such as family and friends. There are several cases where family members are unknowingly enabling the individual’s addiction. Family behaviour therapy addresses all these things. During a therapy session in an addiction rehab centre, families work on setting goals, and learning behavioural techniques. The idea is to improve family dynamics and make it more conducive to encouraging recovery and healthy living. In doing this, it encourages healthy communication between family members. To foster recovery, family members are encouraged to work on their roles and partake in effective boundary setting moving forward. Family behaviour therapy is highly effective in getting families to work as a cohesive unit. They learn to support and help each other to achieve sobriety goals. This type of therapy is typically conducted at a later stage of treatment, after alcohol detox is completed. v) Holistic Therapy Holistic alcohol addiction treatment focuses on healing a person’s mind, body, and soul. It takes into account the overall well-being of a person. This is achieved through managing physical withdrawal symptoms as well. Holistic therapies include: Guided meditation Mindfulness practices Breathwork Yoga Acupuncture and acupressure Massage therapy Sound therapy Aromatherapy Reiki Finding Support Groups After an individual has completed a rehabilitation program for their addiction it is suggested that they seek support through external groups. Being part of an external group support system assists in the transition from rehabilitation centre to navigating their new sober life. Support groups are instrumental in encouraging long-term recovery and care both during and after rehab. They provide a safe place to speak with like minded individuals and seek a sponsor. Support groups such as some outlined below are easily accessible to those in all communities and offered at various times each week. 12-Step Programs These are highly popular programs that are considered to be standard for sustainable recovery post-rehab. The program follows a 12-step model and 12 traditions that the participants complete. Each step allows the person to adapt to their surroundings and meet personal goals. Narcotics Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous are the two most well-regarded 12-steps programs in the US and Canada. Alcoholics Anonymous Alcoholics Anonymous meetings offer a common ground for individuals to get together and share their stories with others who have lived very similar stories.Those who join AA meetings appreciate that they are able to relate and draw inspiration from others in the group through storytelling. During group sessions many conversations are had around how recovery both impacted and improved the person’s life. AA meetings are held daily in community and/or church buildings allowing for those in recovery to attend as frequently as needed. There are two types of meetings – open and closed. The former invites loved ones and family members to attend while the latter is solely for recovering individuals. Narcotics Anonymous Inspired by Alcoholics Anonymous, NA meetings create a sense of community for recovering addicts. Members get to meet and motivate one another by sharing their success stories and anecdotes. It helps each other to stay committed to living a drug-free life and avoid relapses. Conclusion Alcohol addiction is one of the most common forms of addiction. It is highly treatable and there is plenty of help and resources available to achieve sustainable, life-long sobriety. Written By: Holly a freelance writer who loves to help those struggling with addiction. Holly’s own personal experience has inspired her to share resources and be part of others’ recovery journey. Holly has been sober for five years and counting. Holly is a frequent contributor to many addiction-related blogs and organizations such as the Addiction Treatment Division and Inpatient-Rehab.org. References: https://www.webmd.com/pain-management/biofeedback-therapy-uses-benefits https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2897895/ https://www.yorkregiontherapy.com/biofeedback/
You are Getting Very… Misinformed? The Truth About Clinical Hypnotherapy 27 August 2021 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Book Recommendations, Communication, Events, Grief, Individual Therapy, Inspiration, Life Coaching, Self Care, Therapy In your classic portrayal of hypnosis, you might find yourself staring intently at a swinging pendulum, and listening to a series of repetitive phrases until you are lulled into a state of suggestibility. In this state, a hypnotist could make you sing opera or cluck like a chicken. This isn’t a new idea – hypnotherapy has a long history of being falsely represented as a form of mind control. Clinical hypnotherapy, however, is quite different. Clinical hypnotherapists use hypnosis as a therapeutic tool. Hypnosis, a state of deep relaxation and heightened awareness, opens up the unconscious mind to suggestions. Unlike pop culture hypnosis portrayals, in clinical hypnotherapy, the client is always in control. The client’s brain is just more receptive to imagery, creativity, and new ideas. Clinical hypnotherapy can be a valuable tool for breaking habits, promoting relaxation, and even relieving pain. Hypnotherapy has a long history, and in the 1960s, it gained medical recognition as a legitimate form of treatment. Hypnotherapy is currently not regulated by a medical board, but most clinical hypnotherapists are well-trained and hold Master’s degrees or higher. I sat down with one of our practicing hypnotherapists, Stacey Fernandes (she/her/hers), who discussed with me the roots of clinical hypnotherapy, its applications, and misconceptions. What is Clinical Hypnotherapy? Like all legitimate therapeutic approaches, clinical hypnotherapy is grounded in scientific research. Clinical hypnotherapy has been proven to improve anxiety and depression, with or without adjunct treatment. It is thought to be most effective when combined with other talk therapy approaches such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). Hypnotherapy can be used in an individual or group setting. In both settings, hypnotherapy can be used to gain insight into one’s life, habits, and values. When hypnotherapy is done in an individual session, it is more tailored to the client, and parts can even be recorded and played back after the session is over. Often, participants in hypnotherapy groups will pursue individual hypnotherapy later. The typical trope of a client getting very sleepy before slipping into a trance is misguided and misinformed. In fact, Stacey notes that clients often feel re-energized following a session. Depending on the goals of the client, a clinical hypnotherapist can tailor the session to renew energy or restore peace. Each clinical hypnotherapist has their own style. Stacey shares that her own is very imagery- and nature-based, often involving meditations of forests, hammocks, or beaches. Some clinical hypnotherapists have more colour-based hypnotic scripts. Each hypnotic script is designed to evoke a feeling, action, or emotion. How Does One Become a Clinical Hypnotherapist? Stacey obtained her Master of Social Work degree before furthering her education as a hypnotherapist. It was through her college that she learned of a hypnotherapy training course in Costa Rica. The course was centred around “Breaking the Worry Trance” and was revelatory for Stacey. It was imagery-based, and has since informed Stacey’s own practice. To become a clinical hypnotherapist, Stacey did over one hundred hours of clinical training in Ericksonian hypnotherapy. Ericksonian hypnotherapy uses techniques such as metaphor and imagery to alter behavioural patterns. There are other types of hypnotherapy, which combine other therapeutic approaches, such as psychoanalysis or solution-focused therapy. How Does Clinical Hypnotherapy Work? Clinical hypnotherapy taps into our subconscious mind, moving us away from our analytical brain and into our receptive, creative mind. Often, our brain can meet new ideas with resistance or skepticism. Clinical hypnotherapists ask us not to ignore or avoid these feelings, rather to observe and normalize them. Stacey borrowed a metaphor from renowned hypnotherapist, Grace Smith, to describe how hypnotherapy works: “Picture a bouncer (conscious mind) at a nightclub (subconscious mind). Inside the club all the people are smoking cigarettes and a non smoker approaches the bouncer stating ‘I can help, I’ve read lots of books on wealth.’ The bouncer denies the request because they are unfamiliar, despite this person being safe and offering valuable information. Everyone in the club is very familiar with each other despite it being an unhealthy behaviour. Anything new gets blocked. The non smoker tries to tip the bouncer $100 and gets into the club. The person interacts with everyone by speaking on the microphone and engaging them to drink water instead and providing the benefits of hydration. Eventually everyone starts drinking water and feeling much healthier. Now if a person who smoked tried to get into the club the bouncer would deny them – they are unfamiliar!” This helpful metaphor illustrates how clinical hypnotherapy can be helpful for opening up and expanding our minds. Clinical hypnotherapy can be effective where other therapeutic approaches are not, and can be used to calm and alleviate anxiety. However, it is often met with resistance due to preconceived notions as well as unconscious biases. Yet, with an open mind and commitment to heal, clinical hypnotherapy can be incredibly effective. What Should I Know Before Seeking Clinical Hypnotherapy Treatment? I asked Stacey the question, “What would you tell someone who is thinking about starting clinical hypnotherapy?” and she had some great ideas. First of all, do your research. Since clinical hypnotherapy is not regulated the same way social work and psychotherapy services are, literally anyone can claim to be a hypnotherapist. You want to seek out someone who has other credentials, such as a Master’s Degree in Social Work, or Registered Psychotherapist status. Ask questions about your potential clinical hypnotherapist’s background, training, and experience. Many training courses have a required number of hours of practicing the craft; ask if your therapist has completed these, how many, and where. Inquire about their specialties, style, and interests. Book a consultation with the clinical hypnotherapist to see if you two are a good fit. Like any therapeutic relationship, you want to ensure you have similar styles, goals, and interests. If something feels off, or you don’t feel comfortable opening up to this person, consider looking elsewhere. Remember that clinical hypnotherapy is scientifically-backed, and evidence-based. Your clinical hypnotherapist should be adequately trained and qualified. Treat this like you are finding a new healthcare provider; you want to be confident that the provider has the skills and expertise you are looking for. If you are a beginner to clinical hypnotherapy, consider looking for a practitioner trained in Ericksonian hypnotherapy; this is listed as one of the therapeutic modalities in Ontario, along with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS). This means that it is recognized as effective by the regulatory board of Ontario for psychotherapy. Most importantly, approach clinical hypnotherapy with curiosity, open-mindedness, and willingness to learn. Embrace and question your skepticism, and move towards healing with patience and wonder. Interested in partaking in clinical hypnotherapy as part of your healing journey? Bliss is offering a virtual hypnotherapy group workshop this Fall, with the aim to Re-Charge and Re-Energize after a year and a half of pandemic life. Run by Bliss therapists, Stacey and Lindsay, it is an excellent opportunity to engage in clinical hypnotherapy. Are you interested in joining the workshop? Sign up today! . Contact community@blisscounselling.ca or call us at 226-647-6000. __________ Written by: Catiyana Adam and Stacey Fernandes Catiyana is Bliss Counselling’s Office Strategist, a music enthusiast, and avid writer. She has a keen interest in mental health, illness, and treatment, and is aspiring to be a therapist. Catiyana graduated from McMaster University in 2021 with a Honours Bachelor of Arts in Sociology. She focused on courses in health and illness, as well as families and feminist studies. She hopes to pursue a Master of Social Work at Wilfrid Laurier University next year. Stacey is a Registered Social Worker, traveller, and adventurer at heart. She is dedicated to learning and advancing her knowledge through workshops, courses, and travel. Stacey uses EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing) as well as Hypnotherapy and other therapeutic methods in her sessions. She believes in communication, reflection, and slowing down.
How Cognitive and Dialectical Behavior Therapy Works in Recovery 30 July 2021 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Communication, Grief, Guest Post, Individual Therapy, Inspiration, Self Care, Students, Therapy, Uncategorised CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) and DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) are similar forms of talk therapy, also known as psychotherapy. Both forms of therapy will help you to more effectively communicate, and both forms of therapy can help you discover more about the condition you’re using psychotherapy to address. Both cognitive behavioral therapy and dialectical behavior therapy are evidence-based, meaning a battery of hard data proves the effectiveness of both forms of talk therapy. These psychotherapies are proven effective for treating: Alcohol use disorder GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) Insomnia Major depressive disorder Panic disorders Phobias PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) Substance use disorder NAMI shows that roughly 10% of adults in the US will develop a substance use disorder in any given year, with around 20% of American adults also experiencing some kind of mental health condition during that same year. Both substance use disorders and mental health disorders are commonplace, then, and they also frequently co-occur in a dual diagnosis. With both of these conditions so prevalent, drug and alcohol rehab centers use therapies like CBT and DBT in combination with medication-assisted treatment to deliver holistic treatment that’s proven effective for treating a range of conditions. CBT 101 Cognitive behavioral therapy is a highly adaptable form of therapy applicable to many conditions from depression and anxiety to substance use disorder and alcohol use disorder. Once you master the basics, you’ll feel capable of more effectively controlling your emotions and your recovery. CBT sessions are delivered individually or in a group setting as appropriate. Whether one-to-one or as part of a group, you’ll work with a therapist to explore the close and interrelated nature of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Cognitive behavioral therapy can help you view things more objectively, and you’ll also discover that you don’t need to allow how you think and feel to govern your behavior. CBT is a goal-oriented and skills-based form of therapy with a grounding on logic and reasoning. As you pursue a course of cognitive behavioral therapy, you’ll examine how your thoughts and feelings can influence your behaviors. This is especially valuable in the case of destructive or harmful behaviors. Beyond this, CBT will also help you to isolate the people, places, or things that trigger you to engage in self-defeating behaviors. Equipped with the ability to identify these triggers, you’ll then create healthier coping strategies for stressors. When triggered in a real-world situation outside the therapy session, you can implement these strategies rather than being guided by the automatic thoughts that can lead to poor behaviors if unchecked. This is perhaps the most powerful way in which CBT can minimize the chance of relapse in recovery. DBT 101 Marsha Linehan created DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) to treat patients with BPD (borderline personality disorder) when working as a psychologist at University of Washington. DBT has been used since the 1980s to treat a variety of mental health conditions, including: Bipolar disorder Depression Dual diagnosis Self-harm Substance use disorder Suicidal ideation Trauma caused by sexual assault When you engage with dialectical behavior therapy, you’ll learn to acknowledge discomfort or pain while still feeling “normal”. By equipping yourself with the skills to cope with life’s stressors, even in hostile environments, you’ll minimize your chances of engaging in negative or destructive behaviors. DBT sessions are delivered in a module-based format. You’ll empower yourself and your recovery by mastering the following techniques: Distress tolerance: DBT will teach you to better tolerate stressful situations and to more comfortably deal with volatile emotional issues without relapsing or experiencing symptoms of depression or anxiety Emotion regulation: Through DBT, you’ll gain a more thorough understanding of your emotions, and you’ll become more capable of resisting the impulsive and emotion-driven behavior you’re trying to eliminate Interpersonal effectiveness: Dialectical behavior therapy can help you to sharpen your communication skills, improving your interpersonal relationships at the same time Mindfulness: Instead of getting bogged down in the past or anxious about the future, DBT will help you to focus fully on the present with a mindfulness component to therapy applicable to many conditions How CBT and DBT Work for Recovery Your treatment provider will advise you whether CBT or DBT is most suitable for treating your condition. In the case of a personality disorder, for instance, DBT in combination with medication-assisted treatment is likely the most effective approach to treatment. Substance use disorder or alcohol use disorder, on the other hand, often respond best to treatment with cognitive behavioral therapy. The core focus of CBT is the interconnected nature of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. DBT acknowledges this interconnection, but focuses on mindfulness, acceptance, and emotion regulation. CBT is proven effective for treating: Anxiety disorder Depression Panic disorder PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) Sleep disorder DBT was created for the treatment of BPD, and is still commonly used in this area. There is also robust research on the effectiveness of DBT for treating: Anxiety disorder BPD with substance use disorder Depressive disorder Eating disorders PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) CBT vs DBT for Treating Alcohol Use Disorder and Substance Use Disorder CBT and DBT can both be effectively used to treat alcohol use disorder and substance use disorder. A simple course of CBT will help you to pinpoint your triggers for substance use. You’ll also learn to implement coping strategies that don’t involve a chemical crutch. With DBT, you’ll dive deeper, examining the core issue. The mindfulness component of DBT can help many people with substance use disorder to better navigate the emotional imbalances confronting them. DBT vs CBT for Treating Co-Occurring Disorder DBT is proven effective for treating a variety of mental health conditions, from anxiety and depression to PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) and ADHD (attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder). These mental health disorders often co-occur with alcohol use disorder and substance use disorder. When DBT is used to treat a dual diagnosis like this, you can address both issues simultaneously through this form of therapy. CBB is used even more often for the treatment of dual diagnosis, delivered in combination with medication-assisted treatment if appropriate. There is a strong empirical evidence base demonstrating the effectiveness of cognitive behavioral therapy for treating substance use disorders. CBT vs DBT for Treating Anxiety Data indicates that CBT is more effective than CBT for treating anxiety. It’s also more effective for treating depressive disorders, phobias. CBT has also been shown to alleviate the symptoms of anxiety associated with PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) and OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) in this meta-analysis of studies. CBT vs DBT for Treating Bipolar Bipolar disorder typically requires integrated treatment combining psychopharmacology with adjunctive psychotherapy. Both forms of psychotherapy are effective for treating bipolar disorder. With CBT interventions, you can manage unhelpful thought processes while establishing a relapse prevention strategy for episodes of mania and depression. With DBT interventions, you’ll learn to sharpen your focus, improve communication and social functioning, decrease negative, self-defeating behaviors, and more effectively cope with emotional pain. Final Thoughts Both CBT and DBT can be effective for treating substance use disorder, alcohol use disorder and a broad spectrum of mental health conditions. CBT can help you to recognise the triggers for poor behaviors with the aim of avoiding them, while DBT will empower you with superior emotional regulation and enhanced mindfulness. ___________________________________________ This is a guest post written by Joe Gilmore, a creator on behalf of Renaissance Recovery. Renaissance Recovery is a drug and alcohol rehab in Orange County dedicated to helping clients kick their substance abuse habit and establish long-lasting sobriety. You can view their website at the following link: https://www.renaissancerecovery.com/
New and Trending Research on Autism 28 June 2021 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Book Recommendations, Communication, Individual Therapy, Life Coaching, Relationships, Self Care, Therapy What is Autism Autism is hard to define. Not only because the definition itself changes all the time, but because it affects our perceptions, communication, social experiences, learning and behaviour; essentially, everything you need in order to get through the world. Any information that is being processed by the senses can easily over-stimulate an individual who is on the Autism Spectrum. On the other hand, an individual with Autism can also have difficulty processing input from their senses. This is why we discuss Autism, as a spectrum, and say,“If you’ve met one person with autism, you’ve met one person with autism.” How to diagnose ASD In order to be diagnosed with ASD, you need an assessment from a professional who can provide an assessment. This professional can be a doctor, social worker, psychiatrist, or psychologist, who are able to provide a screening using certain tools. In Canada and the United States, we use the DSM-5 as our tool for assessment and diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). The DSM-5 essentially is like a take out menu; you pick three criteria from column A, two from column B, and 1 from column C, D and E. The DSM-5 also uses a process called, scaling, where the person being assessed is also rated from 1-3 in terms of severity. This is more subjective, as diagnoses are not applied consistently in clinical practice, and as such are less useful from a treatment standpoint. However, the rest of the world uses ICD-11. The ICD-11 uses 3 subtypes or possible diagnoses: (1) Childhood, (2) Aspergers, or (3) Pervasive Developmental Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS). IDC-11 includes profiles such as Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) , a profile where those on the spectrum may avoid demands that would even be pleasurable for them. Since there are different tools that could be used in order to assess a person for ASD, it means that we aren’t all communicating or understanding ASD from the same reference point, or speaking the same language, and as a result, researchers are finding it difficult to collaborate and synthesize common or generalizable patterns. Another big concern in trending research is the discrepancies between the age of concern (i.e., when behaviours and traits become apparent) and the age of diagnosis. Parents and teachers alike are noticing behaviours such as missed milestones and other common traits in children quite young that could indicate ASD. But, it takes years for the diagnosis. This is an unfortunate reality when it is expected (across all neurodiverse people) that the earlier the diagnosis, the better. As a result, we are losing critical time. Currently, we aren’t really sure how to screen more effectively, although researchers are doing their best to try to close this gap. What is the importance of an assessment Sometimes, when we are faced with a number of challenges, we need support. Some people may wish to receive support without a formal ASD diagnosis. For others though, an assessment may help an individual with accessing additional therapy or support programs such as, disability credits (for the adult or family & caregivers of a child or teen), an Individual Education Plan (IEP), or workplace accommodations. What is it be included in an IEP The best IEPs should be a living document that is changed and updated regularly and follows the person with ASD throughout their educational career. IEPs are mandated to be updated at least once a year, in the Fall when the academic year begins. However, the most effective IEPs are updated throughout the school year, as new information becomes available (i.e., new assessments, new interests, new motivations for goals, etc). It’s important that it also be reviewed regularly with the child’s teachers to ensure that they are up to date on all of the important details. IEPs should also include information on practical supports and longer term goals. For instance, you can ask yourself or your child if they are struggling with processing reading, emotional self-regulation, or other daily tasks and brainstorm ways in which they will be able to receive support in these areas throughout the day. When considering long term goals, such as establishing greater independence and/or self-advocacy, you’ll also want to consider whether it is achievable. Basically, we don’t want to give somebody with an ASD diagnosis a tool they are unable to use. Some goals, like self-advocacy, are quite lofty for a person on the spectrum and need to be broken down into smaller skills or parts in order for there to be incremental progress and success. Legally, IEPs are also to include a transition plan, by the age of 16. This is a very integral part of planning the next steps, as this person reaches the end of high school. IEPs may integrate strengths-based approaches. Typically IEPs have focused on the student needing support, or to be assimilated in the classroom, rather than focusing on where the student is already demonstrating success. A strengths-based approach views neurodiversity as a normal variation of the human genome that doesn’t need to be fixed. When incorporating this approach, we are working to maximize the students strengths, talents, and interests as well as their deficits and restricted interests. This process is collaborative and includes the student’s goals so that it is a helpful resource and tool for the student. When we aren’t collaborative in this process, the student isn’t invested or engaged, and why would they be? They didn’t contribute to the creation of the IEP or share their perspectives, experiences, goals or interests, which may be vastly different from those being provided by the parents, caregivers or teachers. This approach also considers the functions of the behaviour, not just the problem behaviours. In doing so we are pulling back the outer layers, the outward reactions, in order to understand what is happening for this person and why. If, for instance, a student relies on behaviour for regulation, then what are we going to do to support them? What is something else that could fill that same function or regulation piece? There’s value in setting the bar high. But, it’s also good for students who struggle to feel success, even if it means breaking a goal down into its most elemental parts, so that the student can attain it, feel success, and improve their self-esteem. How to navigate transitions Transition strategies are used to support individuals with ASD during changes or disruptions to activities, settings, or routines, by planning ahead (front loading) before the transition occurs. Transition plans are used to create predictability and positive routines around transitions. They can be presented to the individual verbally, auditorily or visually such as: Visual schedule planning (e.g., a white board, paper, excel spreadsheet); Electronic (e.g., timers, calendars, colour coded schedules and spreadsheets); Social stories; Visual memory may be higher than audio, verbal or written memory. By providing a visual schedule of the plan, the individual will be better able to remember and regulate the progression of how things are going to go. You may also want to include different colours to distinguish the events and the individuals favourite activities into the schedule. This way the individual can see that these rewards or interests are coming too. Electronic transition tools are great indicators that there will be a transition as well. Using an app on a phone or tablet, also allows them to take ownership of the transitions. When presented well in advance, social stories can help with preparing for a new transition, such as going to the airport for the first time. In this example, you can write a story of what happens when we go to an airport and walk the individual through the series of transitions (e.g., when we arrive to the airport, we will have to park, then we will have to get our bags from the trunk, then we will have to walk across a bridge to the planes, then we will have to wait in line to weigh our bags, then we will have to show our passports to get our tickets, then we will have to go through security, etc.). You can also add to this by finding resources online such as written, audio or video stories, as well as photos, that explain why we are following these steps. What is the difference between meltdowns and burnout Meltdowns and burnout both occur when the demands of a situation exceed the individual’s coping skills. Meltdowns are brief, they last for minutes to hours. The function of this behaviour is to indicate to the individual that they have just crossed a threshold, and offers them a chance to withdraw or regain their sense of control. In order to fully understand the reason for the meltdown, we need to understand the motivation behind the behaviour so that we can make a plan for managing it in the future. ASD burnout is a newer topic in research. It was identified as a new ASD experience when individual participants described the experience to researchers, and it was found to be a common trait. Burnout lasts approximately 1-3 weeks. If this time is exceeded, that’s when professionals begin to question if there are concurrent challenges being experienced, such as depression and anxiety. Burnout is brought on by an extended period of masking. We see it in those with ASD, who have higher social skills who are camouflaging their autistic behaviours. This process can be emotionally, mentally and physically taxing, and ultimately leads to losses in function. These skills, that they use to manage, end up getting lost or reduced. Burnout is present in teens, young adults, and adults at any age. It can amplify stimming behaviours or sensory sensitivity. Burnout is usually seen during transition stages, when expectations and behaviours have to change. The individual usually has no idea that the burnout is about to happen, until it does. Repeated meltdowns can also result in burnout. One resource, “No More Meltdowns” by Jed Baker, provides practical solutions for structuring and managing meltdowns and burnout. Video modelling (e.g., we are going to go to the doctor, then to the playground, etc.) also helps the individual to understand the expectations. Social narrative power cards and comic strips also help. The individual can make their own and manage their own emotions, by for instance, giving themselves a power up, when needed. Whichever method is chosen, the most valuable aspect is to ensure that the individual with ASD is buying into the tools. Other supports include offering choice (e.g., to wipe the table now or in 10 minutes or choice boards) as it helps the individual move toward the activity or goal, and provides them with supportive lessons in terms of limiting choices and power over the decision making process. As rule oriented people, individuals with ASD may also appreciate systems that incorporate rules and offer explanations as to why the rules are the way they are. How does ASD impact sexuality and gender There is a lot of research that is coming out quickly, that is related to sexuality and gender among individuals with ASD. But, it is limited because such individuals are such a proportion of our population. What we do know from the research however, is that only 50% of students with ASD are receiving the same level of sex education as their neurotypical peers. These individuals are sharing the same physical and sexual experiences as their peers, but are receiving less education on the topic, have fewer social supports, as well as a reduced understanding and application of social skills and awareness of social aspects. As a result, younger individuals with ASD are at a higher rate of sexual exploitation, especially online. The most common and fastest growing areas of vulnerability and exploitation are those who are in their tweens and teens. People online will ask them to do and say sexual things. They are then recorded, threatened, blackmailed, and bribed into doing more sexual things online. This is especially dangerous for neurodiverse individuals, because of the combination of lacking: (1) theory in mind, that is, they don’t understand that people would have a different motivation than theirs; (2) social skills, which prevent them from finding support or finding their way out of these situations; and (3) any preventative legal protections. Research has also been finding a strong connection between ASD and gender expression. For instance, studies have found that there is a higher prevalence of ASD in trans-individuals. There is also an overrepresentation of Individuals with ASD in gender clinics reports. There’s debate as to what the connection could be. For instance, when there are assessments being done, there are some ASD specific assessment concerns such as research which was exploring sensory factors of restrictive interests. In this study, the researchers noticed that young boys with ASD who were interested in sparkly, silky things and long hair. This finding aligns with social scripts of femininity or feminine interest. As a result, this interest could be a behaviour exhibited by somebody whose is questioning or considering their gender, but it could also be a sensory factor. Issues related to gender and sexuality are typically ignored when overlapping with a disability, generally, whether it’s physical or invisible. There is an assumption that the complexities that accompany gender and sexuality cannot exist, once somebody is diagnosed with ASD. These issues that are related to gender and sexuality, end up being treated as an obsession or transient phase. But there is some question around whether or not this is an issue of perception. For instance, a person with ASD may think, “I am a man, but I love baking… maybe I am a woman.” By assigning baking as a women-only interest, there may be an issue with being unable to distinguish a gender identity through the ambiguities of social scripts. This is why it is so important to discuss topics of sexuality and gender, as well as the assumptions of categorization or black and white thinking (i.e., that it has to be this or has to be that). Individuals with ASD also place less importance on social norms and don’t necessarily read social cues so they may not conform to gender binaries or scripts, as they feel less social pressure to follow these norms. Where to receive additional support and resources If you are interested in: Updating your tools and strategies for working with individuals with ASD; Creating an effective and strengths-based IEP; Learning more on the functions of ASD behaviours and regulation strategies; Mastering skills like advocacy, goal setting, and independent living skills; Exploring sexuality and gender as it relates to ASD; Understanding the rights for accommodations as an ASD person at school or in the workforce; Finding ways to connect with self and others Then, book an appointment with Josh and receive support that is uniquely tailored to your needs. CLICK HERE to view his online schedule and find a date/time that works best for your schedule. ___________ Written by: Josh Rinz Josh Rinz (MA, RP, AAT) has a Bachelor of Science in Biology from the University of North Carolina and a Masters of Theology, specializing in Spiritual Care and Psychotherapy from Wilfrid Laurier University in Waterloo, ON. Josh is a leading expert in the mental health field, especially when it comes to working with neurodiverse children and adults, as well as their caregivers! He is committed to quality, evidence-based therapeutic practices that work in collaboration with his clients to improve their emotional, cerebral, spiritual, and relational wellbeing. Josh brings an enthusiastic and innovative approach to therapy. Working with diverse individuals, families, and caregivers, he believes in the importance of creating a safe and engaging space where clients can explore their personal stories and discover their sense of hope within. Josh has the training, the experience, and a very special interest in working specifically with adolescents on the autism spectrum, as well as neurodiverse people and those with additional special needs and considerations. He strongly believes in supporting the whole ecosystem of an individual, which includes providing specialized support to the families and caregivers.
To my Quaran-tine: How can we navigate our relationship during a pandemic? 14 February 2021 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Book Recommendations, Communication, Self Care, Sex Therapy, Sexual Wellness Due to the restrictions on dating activities that would normally happen during Valentine’s Day, couples may feel like it’s going to be just another day. Which can be disappointing to those who enjoy taking a break from the repetitiveness of everyday life relationships. This is a universal conflict for all couples, new or old, healthy or strained. COVID-19 did not just impact how people meet, but also the exploration of romance and even how much time people spend together. For partners who are living together and are spending more time with each other at home throughout COVID-19, emotional connection has improved; physical connection on the other hand has not. The amount of time spent with partner(s) does not necessarily equate to “quality time”. For instance, more time together could mean more conversations about things each person isn’t happy with within their relationship or changes they might like to see. Some partners may realize they aren’t as compatible with each other and may be starting to realize that they want different things. Some relationships may be trying to work through betrayal, such as infidelity, and are finding it difficult to not be able to take space from their partner(s), as they try to figure out what they want. If we layer in those relationships who have children, it’s even more difficult to have privacy and to take time to grieve aspects of the relationship when the kids are around and people are isolated from their support systems, like family, friends, co-workers. For those who are dating, there is also a lot more communication and negotiations of boundaries during COVID-19. For instance, folks may be asking themselves: Is it safe to be discussing COVID-19 related precautions with this new person? How do we discuss and navigate consent? Should I be isolating after sharing a physical connection, and if so, for how long? Are relationships that came to fruition during the pandemic going to last past the pandemic? A list of common challenges people have felt in their relationship during COVID-19 includes: Experiencing Low sexual desire and desire discrepancy Sharing less physical intimacy or avoiding sex Overcoming infidelity Finding ways to effectively communicate feelings and listen to alternative perspectives Managing erectile dysfunction & rapid ejaculation Exploring sexuality Reconnecting sexually Wanting to open up the relationship Sometimes when there is a crisis, it can either connect and bring partners closer or it can have the opposite effect. It’s important to remember that relationship bumps are inevitable, pandemic or not, No matter the situation, great new things will come from this, even though it’s hard right now. At Bliss, we want to help our clients through these challenging times. Navigating relationships during COVID-19 can be hard, but not impossible. Here are some tips from our very own therapists who specialize in sexual health and wellbeing in relationships: Have separate time You’re not going to desire someone when you spend all of your time with them. Do what you can to separate yourself. That could mean, self-care, taking up jogging, biking, connecting with friends, and having outdoor hangouts in safe ways. Do not feel guilty for taking time for yourself. Increasing pleasure and fun Figure out target specific activities you can do at home, or outside, these can be brainstormed with your therapist. Some activities you can discuss with your partner(s), or date are: Exercising Board Games Movie Marathons Puzzles Planning Future Fun Events Cooking Together DIY Spa Dates Bubble Baths Colouring Dressing Up For A Date Night In Reading To Each Other Paint Night Online Classes Yoga Stargazing Create a Photobook Of Memories Long Drives Bake Off Share Your Favourite Stand-Up Specials Streamline a concert together Make (chocolate) fondue together Make breakfast in bed Recreate your first date, from home! Make your own valentine Ask conversation starters, or quiz yourselves on your love maps! Write each other a poem or haiku Write each other love or gratitude letters Cook a romantic dinner, with candle light and all (some of these ideas are great for an COVID friendly Valentine’s) Open Communication Anxiety about COVID-19 leads to stress and irritability in the relationship. Effective open/transparent communication around what you are going to do is key. Whether it is with your partner(s) or someone you’re dating. If you have the same perspective, it’s okay. If you have two different perspectives, or pre-existing anxiety and OCD, it will affect the relationship. So, discussing boundaries and negotiating “dating terms” should be at the forefront of conversation. Managing Stress If you find yourself being hypervigilant in managing emotions, minimizing conflict, protecting kids from the tension or outburst, you may be giving yourself additional unnecessary stress. In managing stress levels, remember that you cannot control anyone else’s emotions except your own. You must let your partner(s) regulate themselves. For those in couples or individual therapy, this is something you can talk to your therapist about. Finding ways to regulate your own emotions will help in figuring out how to move forward with your partner(s) with no resentment. It’s really important to normalize your experience and your partners’ relationship concerns. Our therapists here at Bliss validate client’s emotions and experiences while supporting them in reframing thoughts, changing habits, breaking patterns, and getting out of cycles they may be stuck in. Navigating relationships during a pandemic can be hard. Give yourself more credit, and Happy Valentines Day! Resources: Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski, for desire/arousal in women. Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire by Lori Brotto Not Always In The Mood by Sarah Hunter Murray, for low desire in men and myths around male sexuality Esther Perel – Infidelity Written By: Raman Dhillon Raman Dhillon is the office strategist & digital content manager and helps assist our clinic/operations manager Jess. Raman has a background in Psychology & Literature from the University of Waterloo, and more recently a Post Graduate Degree in Mental Health and Addictions from Humber College. Raman has experience with client-centered intervention as well as holistic assessment. She’s very interested and well versed in different therapeutic approaches such as mindfulness, naturopathy, and art therapy. Raman loves merging her two passions, mental health, and art to convey messages, psychoeducation, and awareness to the masses.
How COVID-19 Can Make Us Feel Alone: 5 Ways To Help That 13 August 2020 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Guest Post, Life Coaching, Relationships, Self Care As the coronavirus pandemic continues, many of us are feeling lonely. Our usual routines of seeing friends, family, even colleagues, are no longer the norm and the social habits we used to adhere to have changed. Consequently, loneliness is a genuine and growing problem. But there are ways to combat it yourself. The lockdown has eased and social gatherings are now permitted, albeit with certain restrictions. But even then, some of us may not feel comfortable coming into contact with groups of people. We may still be shielding as a precaution and the thought of socializing after such a prolonged period in isolation might seem daunting. If COVID-19 has left you feeling lonely, read on to discover a few ways that you can help it. Live in the moment If you’re feeling lonely, it can be tempting to think that this will last forever, especially with the world in such disarray. Indeed, with questions persisting of how long this ‘new normal’ will last, when the next spike will arrive, how to prepare for the future, and so on, you might be feeling physically and mentally exhausted. If you are diabetic, for instance, you might be in a constant state of apprehension at the thought of shielding for the foreseeable future. Government programs that provide financial relief for self-isolating workers won’t last forever, and the question of whether to remain shielding or return will only amplify that further. Trans people are also in a similar situation. With medical resources being diverted toward coronavirus, effective and inclusive treatments have become increasingly difficult to find. The uncertainty of when (or if) they will receive their required medication causes immense stress and apprehension, impacting their mental health as a result. And there are doubtless many parents who relied on school or summer camps to help ease the burden of childcare. For single parents, this will only be exacerbated — when your life is a balancing act of work and childcare, it leaves little time for socializing, amplifying feelings of loneliness as a result. Consequently, it’s important to live in the moment as much as possible. Enjoy the physical and sensual things around you. The smell of coffee, the sound of leaves rustling in the wind, the feel of the sun on your face — these are all simple pleasures that we often overlook while focusing on the what-ifs of the future. Mindfulness is an especially effective technique for helping you achieve this. Focus on the situation around you and try to shut out other thoughts. You might find it helpful to use a mindfulness app such as Calm to help you achieve this. Seek therapy where necessary Loneliness is something virtually everyone experiences at some point in our lives. Even the most bubbly and vivacious people feel lonely at times. But in some cases, loneliness can be so debilitating that it requires professional, informed insight to help us work through our issues and find the answers within. One can even feel lonely in relationships, even during the lockdown. Someone might be struggling with their mental health and retreat into themselves, even isolating from their partner, housemates, family, friends, colleagues, even their own children. Professional insight can give us a sense of perspective, helping us navigate these difficult and unusual times. This applies whether you’re in a relationship or solo. Independent, informed exploration of your feelings gives you valuable insight into your relationships, both romantic and otherwise, so you can understand better how to love yourself on your own terms. Start a project to distract the mind Being alone isn’t necessarily a bad thing — it’s just how you deal with being alone that matters. Some people are quite comfortable being alone, while others struggle. Introverted people, in particular, might find the new easing of restrictions actually exacerbates their loneliness. It can seem as though everyone else relishes the chance to meet and socialize again, with introverts feeling like the odd one out for not sharing that excitement. Starting a project is a great way to distract your mind and help you enjoy your alone time. A good project gives your mind something practical to focus on, other than ruminating on your loneliness. It forces your brain to think, challenging it to solve a problem. Jigsaws are a good example of this. A complex puzzle requires the mind to think, and the final result makes one feel productive. Similarly, you might find painting a therapeutic project to fill your mind for the same reasons. Whatever project you choose, remember to pour yourself into it. Let it fill your mind and give purpose to your solo time, distracting yourself from your negative thought cycle. This is easier said than done, of course — some may have deeper traumas that are more difficult to manage. But a common CBT technique might prove useful for some here. View your mind as a clear blue sky, and your thoughts as clouds. If an intrusive, negative thought drifts into your mind, don’t fixate on it. Instead, simply acknowledge it is there, and return your focus to the task at hand. This helps you push past intrusive thoughts, giving you some degree of control, not over your thoughts themselves, but certainly how they manifest within your mind. Make the most of video calls During the lockdown, it’s easy to neglect the usual relationships we have. Unable to see friends, family, and loved ones in person, we can easily stay inside without talking to anyone for days, and it becomes a habit. But it’s crucial that you take steps to pursue those connections. Video technology like Zoom or Houseparty makes it easy to stay in touch with loved ones. You’ve likely played an online quiz with friends, family, loved ones, or colleagues, for instance. But some people have taken video calls to creative new heights — virtual picnics, virtual card games, even a virtual happy hour. For introverts, these activities can still seem quite daunting, even with loved ones via a video call. Instead, something like Netflix Party offers a more subdued social activity that you can enjoy via video. This is a particularly great option for parents too. Reach out to a fellow parent and stick on a film for the kids, while you can have a catch-up via video. If you are LGBTQI2S+ and have suddenly found yourself living at home again, you might experience difficulties with your family members. Not all families are as inclusive, and video calls with fellow LGBTQI2S+ offer welcome relief. It’s worth trawling LGBTQI2S+ Reddit communities here — reach out to others in the same situation and arrange a video call. Connecting with someone in the same situation can be a wonderful salve for loneliness. Just as you might usually meet up with a colleague for a lunchtime coffee or have an evening walk with a friend, take those meetings online with a video hangout. Arrange to have an online quiz or game of cards — whatever it is, as long as you’re staying in touch, even virtually. No, it’s not the same thing as meeting up with someone in real life. But it builds social habits that will tide you through these difficult times. Make a plan for your day and beyond A good plan is essential for staving off loneliness and building a positive mental mindset. This is particularly true during the lockdown, as our usual routines have been thrown into disarray. Plan your day, week, and month so you know what to expect. Create a routine and wake, eat, exercise, and sleep at the same time every day (as much as possible). This builds good mental stability and prevents you from wallowing. But this planning extends beyond your day ahead of you. It’s also worth planning what you want to do once the lockdown has lifted. Think about loved ones you want to visit and places you want to see — this gives you something to look forward to and buoys your spirits when you need it most. Loneliness can happen to us all, and if left unmanaged, it can lead to serious mental health issues over time. Follow the tips above and take steps to help manage your loneliness and keep your head above water during the pandemic. _______________ Written by Orion Talmay Orion Talmay is a wellness expert and love coach. Through her integrative approach, Orion’s Method, she helps women awaken their inner goddess and nurture their feminine confidence. Orion is a graduate of Tony Robbins’ Mastery University and holds certifications with the AAPT, KBA, and AFFA.”
How to Explore Your Sexuality As You Age! 1 October 2019 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Communication, Self Care, Sex Therapy, Sexual Wellness Today is International Older Persons Day! International Older Persons Day was passed by the United Nations in 1990 to raise awareness of issues that affect older people in society and to appreciate the contributions they have made to their communities. But, who is an older person and how do you know? Who is an Older Person? It depends who you ask! When we’re thinking about national policies, research, programs and services, and other benefits or entitlements, the government will define an older person chronologically as 65 years of age and older. On the other hand, if we consider recreational supports or when discounts might become available, we may consider an older person to be someone 50 years of age and older. Based off of appearance alone, we may try to categorize a person as either younger or older, but if we were to ask somebody if they feel they are an older person, they may or may not consider themselves to be. This is because the process of aging is a subjective experience! Don’t get me wrong, there are objective aspects to aging too… like the biological changes our bodies encounter with time. For instance, as we grow older our skin becomes more wrinkled and less elastic, while our hair thins and becomes grey. We experience losses in muscular strength, joint flexibility, as well as bone strength and mass, which could leave us feeling frail. Our cardiovascular system becomes less efficient and our lungs become less elastic, especially when we are exerting more energy. Our immune system’s ability to fight off illnesses declines with age, so we may become more susceptible to illnesses. There are changes to our kidneys, which could increase the length of time that a drug stays active in our bodies. We may also notice that our vision, hearing and cognition are affected, and that there is a decline in the hormones our bodies are producing. However, all of these changes to the body vary from person to person and are impacted by so many factors that we both can and cannot change, such as: genetics, sex, race and ethnicity, substance use (e.g., cigarette, alcohol, etc.), level of physical activity, nutrition, gender, medications and therapies, race or ethnicity, education, income, occupation, relationship status, and where you live. With these changes to our bodies, the nature of our relationships and roles in our communities also change. So when we ask somebody if they are an older person, there is a lot to consider! They may need to think about their physical and mental health, their (dis)abilities, whether they are giving or receiving care supports, the number and quality of social connections they may have, their level of activity and engagement in their communities and perhaps whether they are following certain aging stereotypes or social scripts. What are Aging Stereotypes? Even though research has found that aging is a complex process that is distinct to the person and their circumstances, we continue to perpetuate misconceptions of aging which impact how we think about and interact with older persons. Aging stereotypes are myths that often go unchallenged. These stereotypes may also include ideas around who is considered beautiful and sexy or how people should dress and behave once they reach a certain age. Sometimes they can be positive by viewing older persons as active, healthy and wise. But more often than not, they are negative and depict aging as undesirable because of illness, loneliness and a lack of capacity for decision-making. Any stereotype, whether positive or negative, has the ability to reinforce ageism, that is, discrimination, oppression, and exclusion based on a person’s age. For instance, one study found that very active older adults wanted to stay physically and mentally active so that they could avoid becoming old (e.g., frail, dependent, diseased). To actively resist aging stereotypes may be empowering for these older adults, but it also perpetuates ageism and the fear of illness, rather than acceptance for a natural process. Similar experiences also come up when we think about an older person’s sexuality… When older persons integrate aging stereotypes into their perceptions of self they may feel sexually invisible and could experience an altered sense of body image because of it. Feeling a lower sense of confidence and self-esteem, older persons may limit themselves from expressing their sexual needs and desires out of the fear of being judged. When older persons reject aging stereotypes or aging sexual scripts they may reject bodies that are aging naturally and may place importance on medical interventions (e.g., Viagra). Physical limitations that impact sexual functioning could be seen as inevitable and fraught with frustrations, disappointments, distress, and other barriers when it comes to being able to have sex or to openly discuss their sexual health needs and desires. For these older persons, they may be focusing on trying to conform to a certain sexual standard, or trying to have “normal” sex, instead of exploring their true sexual abilities, pleasures and desires. What is Sex? Most of us were taught that “sex” had to include a penis being inserted into a vagina. But, your definition of sex can include whatever activities arouse you and bring you pleasure, whether you are having sex with partners or going solo. It should describe what you can do and want to do now – not what you wanted or used to do in the past. Take a moment to think about how you define “sex.” Consider these questions: Does it include the kind of sex you’re having? Does it include intimacy and connection? Do you feel aroused or does it bring you pleasure? Is it what you feel you are supposed to want? Is it possible to have right now, given your circumstances? Does it involve one partner or more partners? Does it include solo acts (i.e., self-pleasure and masturbation)? Recently, we have been having more conversations that normalize aging sexuality and there has been greater research to depict that older persons are sexually active well into later life! Even if older adults are having less sex, or experiencing sexual limitations and greater health concerns, it does not mean that they are having less quality or enjoyable sex. For instance, a Canadian study found that older persons have great sex regardless of ability, age, or illness when they move away from “normal” sex and adapt their sexual activities to meet their needs and abilities. Some ways older persons have done this is by: Being present in the moment; Creating a connection and being intimate with their partners; Being open in their communication; Remaining authentic about their desires and needs; Being receptive to new ideas and taking safe sexual risks; Feeling vulnerable; Exploring all of the ways of being sexually expressive and; Being transcendent and letting go of goal oriented sex. By letting go of aging stereotypes and goal oriented sex, or sex which focuses on achieving orgasms, older persons are able to achieve great sex that goes beyond functionality, medical interventions, physical limitations and penetration. What are 10 Ways to Compensate for the Changes that Come with Aging? Accept Change: If you enjoyed sex when you were younger, there is no reason why you can’t continue to as you age (unless, of course, you don’t want to !). The only thing is that you may need to let go of some of your past sexual expectations, so that you may embrace and explore your new sexuality. Do your best to accept the changes you are experiencing and remember that aging is a natural process. Track Your Responses: Track what time of day you feel aroused or responsive, especially if you are taking medications or have any medical conditions as these tend to affect our arousal and response drive at different times of the day. When you feel it, go with it! If you can’t act on it right away, try scheduling partnered or solo sex accordingly. Schedule Your Sex: If you struggle with getting aroused or reaching an orgasm, it will help to start scheduling weekly partnered or solo sex. The more you practice the easier it will be for your blood to flow the next time. Scheduling sex isn’t spontaneous, but it will help with building anticipation… Talk About Sex: You may not have been brought up to talk about sex, but it’s the only way you will get what you want. Your sexual needs and desires change over time, so be sure to communicate them to your partners. Remember while you are discussing your desires to use “I” statements and to explain what you mean, avoid blaming or judging yourself or your partners, talk about it while you aren’t having sex, be curious and ask your partner what they would like, make a plan to incorporate your desires and check in with each other regularly. Being playful, using humour and gentle teasing can really lighten the mood! Find New Positions and Toys: If you are experiencing physical limitations consider which positions, toys or other technologies may more easily or better support you during partnered or solo sex. For instance, is there a cushion that you could prop under yourself to help with weight distribution (e.g., the Liberator), is there a toy that you could use hands free or with limited hand movements (e.g., the Satisfier, the DiGit, the Wand, the Perfect Stroke, the Fleshlight with suction cup, etc.)? Exercise 30 Minutes Before Sex: Increase your blood flow to speed up arousal, function, and pleasure. You only need to raise your heart rate enough so that you breathing quickens, but you can still talk. Try dancing, walking, or any other activity that will get your blood moving! Avoid Eating Before Sex: When our digestive systems are in full swing it slows down our blood flow, which keeps it from reaching our genitals as quickly. So whether you’re having partnered or solo sex, try to plan your meals afterward. Focus on Intimacy and Touch: Sometimes we may not actually be looking for sex, instead it could be intimacy and to be touched, held, looked at, admired, smiled at, to laugh, or to feel a loved, a connection, or safe and secure. Take your Time: Spend more time on pleasure and intimacy. Draw out foreplay so that it is a before and after sex experience! Find ways to relax and be comfortable with partners or on your own. Use Lube: With age, our skin thins and hormone production declines. This means our bodies are producing less natural lubricants and that our skin is more susceptible to tearing . To avoid this, try using a personal lubricant! There are many types of personal lubricants (i.e., water, silicone, oils, hybrids, flavours, etc.). Click here for a guide that will help you choose one that is right for you. Remember to also keep the lines of communication open with your doctor! There are normal changes related to aging and these could be creating limitations to sexual functioning… but there are changes that may not be! For instance, diabetes and cardiovascular issues affect blood flow and could be limiting arousal and response. Although some older persons may experience greater excitement and sexual desire after menopause, others may have vaginal pain or itching and burning around their vulva. These cases should be explored further with your doctor, or a specialist like a urologist, gynaecologist, pelvic floor physiotherapist, and/or a certified sex therapist. When having sex, there’s also a higher chance of transmitting sexual infections, no matter your age. There are many different types and sizes of condoms that you can be using whether you’re having penetrative or oral sex with long-term, new, or casual partners, or even while sharing toys. Check-in with your doctor if you have any questions or concerns and request more information, as well as regular STI screenings. Now… Go celebrate International Older Person’s Day by having sex! Where Can I Learn More About Older Persons’ Sexuality? Catie’s Safer Sex Guide How do older people discuss their own sexuality? A systematic review of qualitative research studies (Gewirtz-Meydan et al., 2018) McMaster: Optimal Aging Portal Naked at our Age: Talking out Loud About Senior Sex (Joan Price, 2011) Senior Planet: A Senior’s Guide to Lubrication Sex After Grief: Navigating your Sexuality after Losing your Beloved (Joan Price, 2019) Sexual Health and Aging: Keep the Passion Alive (Mayo Clinic, 2017) Sexuality in later life (National Institute on Aging, 2017) Stereotypes of Aging: Their Effects on the Health of Older Adults (Rylee Dionigi, 2015) The Components of Optimal Sexuality: A Portrait of “Great Sex” (Peggy Kleinplatz et al., 2009) The Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50 (Joan Price, 2014) _______________________________________________ Written by: Jess Boulé, Pronouns: they, them, theirs / she, her, hers Jess is our office strategist at Bliss Counselling. Jess is a Master’s graduate from the University of Guelph. During their degree, they focused on aging and end-of-life, communication, human sexuality, LGBTQI2S+ health, inclusive practice and policies, knowledge mobilization strategies, research methods, and program evaluation.
Inner Balance: Time for Yourself 30 July 2019 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Fitness, Guest Post, Inspiration, Life Coaching, Self Care Finding time for yourself is something we all struggle with, but it’s essential for peace of mind and mental wellbeing. If you want to know how those zen-like friends of yours do it, all you have to do is take a look at how they spend those precious few hours of spare time they get each week. It can be tempting to just pull out Facebook and see what everyone’s up to, but all that does is set your mind racing as you inundate yourself with information. Take a look at the following wise words and you’ll be able to enjoy every second of life as you restore your inner balance. Take Some Time to Just Sit and Listen to the Birds There’s a lot to be said for embracing boredom and leaving your phone in your pocket, so why not give it a try? It’s something we could all do with doing a little more often, and it’s a great way to start your day. Taking the time to make yourself a cup of coffee and sit outside in the garden is the ideal quiet start to what will likely prove to be a hectic day. It’s a chance to ground yourself, to relax, and to take in the simple things in life. If you do it every day for a week, it’ll become a key part of your daily routine that you can’t do without. Head to a Clinic for a Pampering Session Cosmetic clinics are the place to go to if you want to really pamper yourself. By having an expert use their skills to soothe your body and put your mind at ease you can get the best of both worlds. Ideal if you want to feel refreshed the moment you wake up the next morning. It’s also a great way to spend some time with the best friend you’ve been meaning to catch up with for ages now. Get together for some coffee beforehand, and then show each other the results of your latest beauty session. It won’t just help you love the way you look, it’ll also make you feel at home in your own skin as you centre yourself. Take a Walk Late in the Evening The evenings aren’t solely devoted to TV and social media if you don’t want them to be. Taking the dog for a walk as the sun goes down is a great way to let your hair down and enjoy one of the simple things in life. It’s a chance to get plenty of fresh air before bed, and the break from screens will give your eyes a chance to rest. Some people even leave their phone at home so they can totally disconnect for an hour so. Binge Watch Your Favourite Shows Despite what we just said in the last point, binge watching is one of the most fun ways to rest and relax. It allows you to immerse yourself in a whole new universe of entertainment, and to lose yourself in a story. If you find a series you’re hooked on, keep watching it. There’s nothing better than getting into a plot and picking out your favourite characters. Find a friend who’s watching the same show and you’ll have something to chat about when you meet up next week. Join the Gym and Take Pride in Your Fitness Joining the gym is a great way to restore your inner balance, and it’s easier to do than you might think. If you’re new to exercise it can feel intimidating going to a muscle bound gym, so why not go with a friend? You could avoid the peak hours straight after work, and go on the weekend morning for a little while as you build your confidence. One thing is for sure, once you start going and you see some gains, you’ll be hooked. It’ll give you confidence, balance, and something to focus on. Start Baking Healthy Sweet Treats Baking is a great mindful activity that will have you feeling at ease in no time at all. Pick a recipe you’ve been meaning to try, walk to the shop, and then get busy rustling up something amazing. It doesn’t even matter if you don’t nail it the first time — the key point is that you’ve got yourself moving and thinking about something new. Just by working with your hands you’ll be stimulating new parts of your brain that you don’t necessarily use during work hours. Take your pick from the options above, think about how you can fit them into your daily routine, and then dive in feet first. It might sound easier said than done, but when you make a start you’ll find you really don’t want to stop. It’ll certainly be worth it when you wake up relaxed and refreshed every single morning. About the Author: Rebecca is a translator by day, and a traveler mostly at night. She is an expert on living with jet lag – and packing in tiny suitcases. You can read more of her exploits at RoughDraft.
5 Work/Life Balance Tips for Incredible Mompreneurs 2 July 2019 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Guest Post, Inspiration, Life Coaching, Self Care, Uncategorised Being a mom is never easy. Mom is also a nurse, a chef, and teacher. It brings immeasurable joy to the heart, but there’s no shame in admitting that sometimes things get really hard. When mom also has entrepreneurial ambitions, finding a work-life balance can be complicated because there’s her work on one side and her children on another. Add a significant other into the mix and things can get quite chaotic. Here are some tips on how to get work and life balance in order. 1. Exercise Sitting in the office all day can be a disaster for the back. Even if you work from home, chances are that you spend a lot of time sitting. It’s important to find some time off to work out. There are few ways to exercise: in a group, in pairs or individually. If time and money allow, go to a gym and find a personal trainer. In case that’s not possible, try working out at home or find a group of people to exercise with. Home workouts are also good since it lets you do it on your own terms. 2. Get organized Knowing when to do something and at what time can be immensely helpful for organizing day-to-day activities. Using containers to make meals in advance and vacuum bags will help you arrange your food and clothes for the week. Learn how to multi-task efficiently. For work, using a good project management tool can significantly reduce work-related stress. There are countless other apps that can be helpful in managing professional and personal activities, and if you’re more of an old-school type, then get a quality notebook planner and keep it with you all the time. 3. Learn to relax Doing laundry, cooking meals and reading bedtime stories is already exhausting, but when you add work deadlines and demanding clients, things get more difficult. That’s why it’s necessary to take some time off and loosen up a bit. Having a bath, reading, watching TV can be relaxing and energizing at the same time. Additionally, treating yourself for a professional massage experience can help you unwind and forget your daily worries, even only for a bit. Mental well-being is crucial to stay focused and thrive. Being alone can be beneficial for recollecting thoughts and decompressing. Also, having regular date nights with your spouse can help you two reconnect and add some zest to your marriage. 4. Know when to say no Being a mompreneur can be very empowering, however, shuffling work duties, money management, family responsibilities, and personal care can put you under significant strain, but it can be done as long as there are set boundaries. Especially if you’re the type everyone relies on. Being needed can be stimulating sometimes, but one must learn how to say no. Prioritizing tasks is what separates successful people from those who do everything for everybody. Remember that your family and your health should always come first. Everything else is less important. 5. Ask for help Having a great career or a business of your own is a notable achievement by itself. Adding a family to the mix can make things complete. But no matter how hard-working you are, there are times when you’ll feel tired. That’s fine and shouldn’t be treated as a failure. We all need a hand sometimes, even the mompreneurs. Asking for help is not something to be embarrassed about. Relying on your partner is much better and can help bring the family together. Also, being in touch with other mompreneurs can significantly help you learn and find support when you need it the most. After all, people who are similar to you can also understand you better and empathize with you on a deeper level. Just remember that being a superwoman doesn’t mean doing everything by yourself. Asking for help is crucial if you want to thrive in all aspects of your life. Written by: Sophia Smith Sophia Smith is a beauty blogger, eco-lifestyle lover, graphic designer and food enthusiast. She is focusing on minimalism and good quality. Her other hobbies center around her love for nature, well-being and living in balance. Sophia writes mostly about beauty-related topics in her blogs and articles. She has contributed to a number of publications including: Life Goals Mag, Savant Magazine, Secret Garden, Bonvita Style, Cause Artist and Book Meditation Retreats. You can find out more about her writing by following her on: Facebook Twitter Google +
3 Ways to Do Meditation: When You Feel Stress 18 June 2019 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Guest Post, Self Care Are you someone who feels stressed out a lot? Then you are not alone. The world is a stressful place, and it can often have a major impact on the way that we live our lives. We often find that our lives are pressure-filled and stressful to the point where it can make it quite hard for us to do things as we would normally have intended. When you feel stressed, though, you can find it hard to get a solution. Some of us put our stress down to our diets and lifestyles, so we change how we eat and drink. We do what we can to stay hydrated, and we stop eating so many foods high in fats, sugars, and salts. However, when you feel like you aren’t making any progress through conventional lifestyle means, you might want to take a look at getting into a bout of meditation. One of the main issues that we find with meditation is that many people do not appreciate just how powerful it is as a source of mental wellness. Our mind is often the biggest barrier that we need to overcome if we wish to live our happiest, healthiest quality of life. Mediation has been shown to have a serious impact on that: the bottom line is that meditation is great for both physical and mental rejuvenation. Sound like a common problem? Then you should definitely look to the following three ways to do meditation. Alongside making other lifestyle changes like staying hydrated, cutting down on work hours, and being more productive in the hours we do work, the following forms of meditation are almost certain to help you live your happiest, healthiest life. So, what matters when you wish to take on meditation? How can various forms of meditation help with stress? 1. Focus with Concentrative Meditation Probably the best form of meditation to start with when you just need to find a focus is to start with some concentrative meditation. This means taking a single object, sound, mantra, whatever, and focusing on that entirely. Turning your thoughts to that entirely. For example, do you have holiday time coming up and you know you just need to get through the next 2-3 weeks to get there? Then focus your mind on the beach where you are going to be staying. Think about the location, the sights, the sounds, the soothing of the sand on your skin. It gives you an immense sense of focus when you have something so specific to concentrate on. A bit of focus and visualization can go a long, long way to making sure you can stay entirely focused on the task and journey at hand. Get used to doing that, and before long you will be in a much better place with regards to the quality and intensity of your ability to remain focused on the task at hand. 2. Rhythmic Movement and Mindful Exercise Another good place to start with meditation is with some exercise mixed in with the meditation itself. While most of us don’t imagine going for a run, a swim, or a cycling session can be particularly calming for the mind, it can be very good for us in some ways. We recommend that you find an exercise that you can do with repetition: for example, riding a bicycle on a stationary surface will ensure that you can rest, relax, and get into your own frame of thinking whilst working the body at the same time. Like many of us, though, you might find that you try to problem solve when you are working out. Instead, let yourself enjoy the repetition of the physical movement whilst letting your mind get a bit of a rest as well. Instead of thinking about what you will do in work tomorrow, think about all the things happening around you. Think about the feeling of your feet on the pedals, the picking up of the pace of your breathing, the way that your body adjusts and adapts to match and re-balance yourself. Exercise becomes more soothing when we just let ourselves think of the feelings that the exercise creates in the first place. When you try to exercise and do a bit of life organizing all at once, you will be very much likely to find it hard to make enough of a difference. Instead, concentrate on the repetitive movement and the feelings those movements create nothing else. Before long, your workouts will produce both mental relaxation and physical improvement! 3. Muscle Relaxation Lastly, one of the best ways to use meditation is to help make your muscles feel a bit more relaxed. Do you ever feel as if all of your muscles are tight and tense? That you cannot get any kind of relaxation in the arms and legs? Then you should look to try out using mediation to help with this. To do so, start working on each of the muscles that you feel needs help by simply tensing them up. Honestly, just try it! Tensing up a muscle – holding it as tense as you can, while taking in slow, deep breaths – is excellent for then relaxing the muscle. Our body will start to immediately let a tense muscle relax, and you will feel an immediate sense of relief and comfort as soon as you do so. By simply relaxing the muscles after tensing them up until the count of 10, you can start to feel a sense of total relief in a previously distressed muscle. Do this with one foot, then the other, then move up the body until you have tensed just about every muscle group that you can. About the Author: Jessica Max is the community manager at hydration calculator. She is a fitness writer. She uses her training to help other women struggling to get fit in mid-life. When not working, Jessica enjoys cycling and swimming.