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Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder

Please note that every person’s experience of borderline personality disorder (BPD) is different. The symptoms and ranges of BPD run both vertically (the number of symptoms experienced) and horizontally (the intensity of how they are experienced). If we also consider other factors that layer and intersect, such as life events (e.g., t/Trauma) and social positions (e.g., financial security, colour of skin, sexual orientation, gender, etc.), our end result is a very unique tapestry of experiences.

“People with BPD are like people with third degree burns over 90% of their bodies. Lacking emotional skin, they feel agony at the slightest touch or movement.”

Dr. Marsha Linehan

What is Borderline Personality Disorder?

BPD is the most common personality disorder listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV-TR). This manual is used by physicians and psychologists to make mental health diagnoses. Someone with a personality disorder typically faces unique challenges in:

  • Relationships and social situations;
  • Managing emotions and thoughts;
  • Understanding how certain behaviours are creating problems and/or;
  • Recurring difficulties in changing a mindset to suit different contexts. 

 

75% of people with BPD self-injure one or more times. 

10% of people with BPD take their own lives.

 

What are the symptoms of BPD?

The DSM-IV-TR lists 9 categorical criteria for BPD. A person must present with at least 5 of the symptoms in order to be diagnosed with BPD. The 9 symptoms can be summarized as:

  1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment, significant fears of being alone;
  2. Unstable and intense interpersonal relationships;
  3. Lack of clear sense of identity;
  4. Impulsiveness in potentially self-damaging behaviours, such as substance abuse, sex, shop lifting, reckless driving, binge eating;
  5. Recurrent suicidal threats or gestures, or non-suicidal self-injury such as cutting, burning with a cigarette, or overdose that can bring relief from intense emotional pain; 
  6. Severe mood shifts and extreme reactivity to situational stresses;
  7. Chronic feelings of emptiness, loneliness and neediness;
  8. Intense, frequent, short-lived and inappropriate displays of anger, depression or anxiety;
  9. Transient, stress-related feelings of unreality or paranoia.

Inconsistent symptoms are the hallmark of BPD, which makes it difficult to define a single set of criteria for a diagnosis. This is further complicated, as research has shown that about 90% of folks with a BPD diagnosis, share at least 1 other major psychiatric diagnosis.

What is it like living with BPD?

“Prick the delicate ‘skin’ of a borderline and she will emotionally bleed to death.”

Kreisman and Straus

BPD has been described as emotional hemophilia. In the case of BPD, the client will have difficulties with moderating their feelings. Mood changes can come and go quickly and can shift from extreme joy to the deepest despair. A person with BPD may be filled with anger or despair one hour and then calm the next, with little understanding as to why. This then leads to feelings of insecurity, lower self-worth and inner criticism, which brings about more self-hate and depression. 

Symptoms, such as dissociation, can also interfere with concentration making it very difficult for folks with BPD to complete their tasks. Feelings of emptiness makes a person with BPD feel as though they have to do anything to escape, such as impulsive and self-destructive behaviours, so that they may feel something. People with BPD may also feel as though they do not have a core identity and to overcome their mostly negative self-image, they will create characters or codes.

People with BPD may also experience splitting. Splitting can happen at any time, if they are under enough pressure, stress, anxiety, or anger. Splitting is when a person only thinks about a situation or person in binaries. It is the rigid separation of positive and negative thoughts and feelings about oneself and others. For instance, a person with BPD may only consider a context to be right or wrong, good or bad, or in black and white terms without any room for grey. A person with BPD may struggle to accept human inconsistencies or ambiguities, and as such favour predictability. 

When there is a miscommunication or when somebody they idealize eventually disappoints them in some way, or acts in a way that they did not predict, a person with BPD may look at them as though they cannot be trusted. When this occurs, the person with BPD has to make a decision to either restructure their strict and inflexible conceptualization of this person or to isolate themselves in order to preserve the “perfect” image they had created. 

Research shows that there is no definitive cause for BPD, rather it is a combination of genetic, developmental, neurobiological and social factors that contribute to its development. People with BPD may come from family backgrounds with parents who were indifferent, rejecting or absent. They may have also received little to no affection and/or experienced chronic abuse. 

A person with BPD will also seek out new relationships (i.e., partners and/or friendships) quite often. Once in a close romantic relationship they will both crave and become terrified of intimacy; fearing abandonment, they will cling to their partner, which will then lead to fears of enmeshment, so they push away. Because of this, they end up pushing away those they want to connect with the most. 

Of all the major mental health diagnoses, BPD is the most stigmatized. Stereotypes include viewing folks with BPD as dramatic, manipulative, unfeeling or lacking emotion, attention-seeking and/or narcissistic. They are consistently suspected of wrongdoing, carelessness, anger, and difficulties with building a regular routine. This leads folks with BPD to hide this part of themselves from others. 

For a person with BPD there are significant fears of abandonment and they will attach to a favourite person and rely on this person for emotional validation and security. Their favourite person becomes the source of their comfort and devotion. A BPD person’s favourite person can be anybody: a relative, parent, best friend, lover, or somebody they just met. The difference between a best friend and a favourite person, is related to the intensity of the thoughts that surround this person. 

A person with BPD requires compassion, understanding, acceptance, honesty, patience and love. They may not have grown up with either receiving or learning how to share these characteristics with their formative relationships, so accountability for behaviours that are challenging a relationship and empathy, are key. Of course a person with BPD will need to learn how to give themselves the love and compassion that they crave from others, as well.

What can you do if you or a loved one is experiencing BPD related symptoms?

It is important to recognize that there is no “cure” for BPD, rather somebody who experiences these traits and is receiving treatment may just have more time between self-harm episodes and/or coping strategies to support emotional regulation.

Kreisman and Straus have described a structured method of communication, known as SET that can be used when communicating with a person who is in a BPD related crisis, or emotionally spiralling. 

Support – Use a personal “I” statement of concern to demonstrate a personal pledge to try to support the person in emotional crisis. For example, “I am really worried about how you are feeling.”

Empathy – Acknowledge their chaotic feelings with a “You” statement. For example: “You must be feeling awful/scared/hurt/etc.”

Truth – Emphasize that this person is accountable to their own life and that others’ attempts to help, cannot avert this primary responsibility. In this statement, you must acknowledge that there is a problem that exists and offer a solution for what can be done to solve it. This must be done in a matter of fact tone. For example, “Here’s what happened…These are the consequences…. This is what I can do… What are you going to do?”

It is possible to have a healthy relationship with a person with BPD, especially if you are the favourite person. You can do this in 5 easy steps.

Step 1 : Communicate

The first step is to have a discussion, to acknowledge that you are their favourite person, and to determine if the relationship is mutual.

Questions to reflect on and consider during this discussion are:

  1. What are each person’s needs? Are they currently being met? 
  2. Has there been an instance where either person’s needs weren’t met, why might that be and how might you both be able to overcome this in future interactions?
  3. What are both of your feelings regarding space and emotional boundaries? 

 

Step 2: Avoid Assumptions

BPD folks generally think in black and white (e.g., “they don’t love me anymore”). In order to avoid this assumption and the potential for an emotional crisis, or “testing” the favourite person to make sure they still do love them or won’t leave them, the BPD person should feel comfortable with being direct and asking for reassurance from their favourite person (e.g., “Is everything alright? I’m just worried because I haven’t heard from you in a while”).

Step 3: Develop More Friendships

It is comfortable and easy for a BPD person to give all of the love and everything they have to their favourite person, but it’s a lot of pressure to receive and also reciprocate as a single human being. This is why it is important for both the favourite and BPD person to have friends of their own that they enjoy spending time with. This will help the BPD person with the intensity of putting all of their emotional needs on one person, and will also help the favourite person to have other outlets and their own support. It’s important that the BPD person avoids scheduling their plans around their favourite person. 

Step 4: Limit Expectations

This is one of the most difficult ideas for a BPD person to incorporate into their worldview, but it is to cultivate a mindset in which their favourite person may leave, by choice or not, and this is okay. This requires a mindful appreciation for enjoying the day for what it is. No matter what happens. It is not possible to control a person or to demand that they be committed to your relationship or friendship forever. Thinking of the future and the possibility that they could leave, may generate anxious thoughts and feelings of being abandoned. Instead, the BPD person can try practicing gratitude for the current state of their relationships. 

Step 5: Therapy & Medications

Treatment for both the BPD and favourite person usually begins with education; discussing what is known about BPD and its causes, as well as how the BPD person can self-manage and prevent relapses. Therapy and counselling may also be offered at the individual or group level for both the BPD and favourite person. The BPD person may also wish to take prescription medications that align with their specific symptoms (e.g., mood swings or anxiety). There are a number of therapeutic tools that can be used in the treatment of BPD symptoms. The 2 major tools are cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), which focuses on the present and on changing negative thoughts and behaviours, and dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT) which uses concepts of mindfulness and acceptance or being aware of and attentive to the current situation and the client’s emotional state. DBT helps clients to regulate intense emotions, to reduce self-destructive behaviours and to improve relationships.

It’s important to remember that like any relationship, the connection you build will be at it’s healthiest if it is constructed on a foundation of trust, friendship, mutual respect and care, honesty and accountability. 

At Bliss, we want to help our clients navigate the complexities of BPD and help them live balanced, happy, fulfilling lives. If you need additional guidance, please book an appointment with one of our therapists who specialized in this area and will guide you through the therapy process in a safe, non judgemental atmosphere: 

 

You do not have to go through this alone. Bliss is here to support you.

 


Written By: Jess

 

Jess is our amazing office strategist at Bliss Counselling. Jess is a Master’s graduate from the University of Guelph. During this degree, they focused on aging and end-of-life, communication, human sexuality, LGBTQI2S+ health, inclusive practice and policies, knowledge mobilization strategies, research methods, and program evaluation.

 


 

I would like to learn more about BPD, what other resources exist?

 

For more information and support, please consider the following resources.

 

Books

  • Beyond Borderline: True Stories of Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder by John G. Gunderson (edited by Perry D Hoffman)
  • Building a Life Worth Living: A Memoir by Marsha M. Linehan
  • Coping with BPD: DBT and CBT Skills to Soothe the Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder by Blaise Aguirre
  • I Hate You – Don’t leave me: Understanding the Borderline Personality by Jerold J. Kreisman and Hal Straus
  • Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder by Shari Y. Manning
  • Mastering Adulthood: Go Beyond Adulting to Become an Emotional Grown-Up by Lara E. Fielding
  • The Dialectical Behaviour Therapy Wellness Planner: 365 Days of Healthy Living for Your Body, Mind, and Spirit (The Borderline Personality Disorder Wellness Series) by Amanda L. Smith
  • The Mindfulness Solution for Intense Emotions: Take Control of Borderline Personality Disorder with DBT by Cedar R. Koons
  • This is Not the End: Conversation on Borderline Personality Disorder by Tabetha Martin
  • The Dialectical Behaviour Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation and Distress Tolerance by Matthew McKay, Jeffrey Wood, and Jeffrey Brantley

Online Documents

Inner Balance: Time for Yourself

Finding time for yourself is something we all struggle with, but it’s essential for peace of mind and mental wellbeing. If you want to know how those zen-like friends of yours do it, all you have to do is take a look at how they spend those precious few hours of spare time they get each week. It can be tempting to just pull out Facebook and see what everyone’s up to, but all that does is set your mind racing as you inundate yourself with information. Take a look at the following wise words and you’ll be able to enjoy every second of life as you restore your inner balance.

Take Some Time to Just Sit and Listen to the Birds

There’s a lot to be said for embracing boredom and leaving your phone in your pocket, so why not give it a try? It’s something we could all do with doing a little more often, and it’s a great way to start your day. Taking the time to make yourself a cup of coffee and sit outside in the garden is the ideal quiet start to what will likely prove to be a hectic day. It’s a chance to ground yourself, to relax, and to take in the simple things in life. If you do it every day for a week, it’ll become a key part of your daily routine that you can’t do without.

Head to a Clinic for a Pampering Session

Cosmetic clinics are the place to go to if you want to really pamper yourself. By having an expert use their skills to soothe your body and put your mind at ease you can get the best of both worlds. Ideal if you want to feel refreshed the moment you wake up the next morning. It’s also a great way to spend some time with the best friend you’ve been meaning to catch up with for ages now. Get together for some coffee beforehand, and then show each other the results of your latest beauty session. It won’t just help you love the way you look, it’ll also make you feel at home in your own skin as you centre yourself.

Take a Walk Late in the Evening

The evenings aren’t solely devoted to TV and social media if you don’t want them to be. Taking the dog for a walk as the sun goes down is a great way to let your hair down and enjoy one of the simple things in life. It’s a chance to get plenty of fresh air before bed, and the break from screens will give your eyes a chance to rest. Some people even leave their phone at home so they can totally disconnect for an hour so.

Binge Watch Your Favourite Shows

Despite what we just said in the last point, binge watching is one of the most fun ways to rest and relax. It allows you to immerse yourself in a whole new universe of entertainment, and to lose yourself in a story. If you find a series you’re hooked on, keep watching it. There’s nothing better than getting into a plot and picking out your favourite characters. Find a friend who’s watching the same show and you’ll have something to chat about when you meet up next week.

Join the Gym and Take Pride in Your Fitness

Joining the gym is a great way to restore your inner balance, and it’s easier to do than you might think. If you’re new to exercise it can feel intimidating going to a muscle bound gym, so why not go with a friend? You could avoid the peak hours straight after work, and go on the weekend morning for a little while as you build your confidence. One thing is for sure, once you start going and you see some gains, you’ll be hooked. It’ll give you confidence, balance, and something to focus on.

Start Baking Healthy Sweet Treats

Baking is a great mindful activity that will have you feeling at ease in no time at all. Pick a recipe you’ve been meaning to try, walk to the shop, and then get busy rustling up something amazing. It doesn’t even matter if you don’t nail it the first time — the key point is that you’ve got yourself moving and thinking about something new. Just by working with your hands you’ll be stimulating new parts of your brain that you don’t necessarily use during work hours.

Take your pick from the options above, think about how you can fit them into your daily routine, and then dive in feet first. It might sound easier said than done, but when you make a start you’ll find you really don’t want to stop. It’ll certainly be worth it when you wake up relaxed and refreshed every single morning.

 

About the Author:

Rebecca is a translator by day, and a traveler mostly at night. She is an expert on living with jet lag – and packing in tiny suitcases. You can read more of her exploits at RoughDraft.

5 Work/Life Balance Tips for Incredible Mompreneurs

 

Being a mom is never easy. Mom is also a nurse, a chef, and teacher. It brings immeasurable joy to the heart, but there’s no shame in admitting that sometimes things get really hard. When mom also has entrepreneurial ambitions, finding a work-life balance can be complicated because there’s her work on one side and her children on another. Add a significant other into the mix and things can get quite chaotic. Here are some tips on how to get work and life balance in order.

1.  Exercise

Sitting in the office all day can be a disaster for the back. Even if you work from home, chances are that you spend a lot of time sitting. It’s important to find some time off to work out. There are few ways to exercise: in a group, in pairs or individually. If time and money allow, go to a gym and find a personal trainer. In case that’s not possible, try working out at home or find a group of people to exercise with. Home workouts are also good since it lets you do it on your own terms.

2. Get organized

Knowing when to do something and at what time can be immensely helpful for organizing day-to-day activities. Using containers to make meals in advance and vacuum bags will help you arrange your food and clothes for the week. Learn how to multi-task efficiently. For work, using a good project management tool can significantly reduce work-related stress. There are countless other apps that can be helpful in managing professional and personal activities, and if you’re more of an old-school type, then get a quality notebook planner and keep it with you all the time.

3. Learn to relax

Doing laundry, cooking meals and reading bedtime stories is already exhausting, but when you add work deadlines and demanding clients, things get more difficult. That’s why it’s necessary to take some time off and loosen up a bit. Having a bath, reading, watching TV can be relaxing and energizing at the same time. Additionally, treating yourself for a professional massage experience can help you unwind and forget your daily worries, even only for a bit. Mental well-being is crucial to stay focused and thrive. Being alone can be beneficial for recollecting thoughts and decompressing. Also, having regular date nights with your spouse can help you two reconnect and add some zest to your marriage.

4. Know when to say no

Being a mompreneur can be very empowering, however, shuffling work duties, money management, family responsibilities, and personal care can put you under significant strain, but it can be done as long as there are set boundaries. Especially if you’re the type everyone relies on. Being needed can be stimulating sometimes, but one must learn how to say no. Prioritizing tasks is what separates successful people from those who do everything for everybody. Remember that your family and your health should always come first. Everything else is less important.

5. Ask for help

Having a great career or a business of your own is a notable achievement by itself. Adding a family to the mix can make things complete. But no matter how hard-working you are, there are times when you’ll feel tired. That’s fine and shouldn’t be treated as a failure. We all need a hand sometimes, even the mompreneurs. Asking for help is not something to be embarrassed about. Relying on your partner is much better and can help bring the family together. Also, being in touch with other mompreneurs can significantly help you learn and find support when you need it the most. After all, people who are similar to you can also understand you better and empathize with you on a deeper level.

 

Just remember that being a superwoman doesn’t mean doing everything by yourself. Asking for help is crucial if you want to thrive in all aspects of your life.

 

Written by: Sophia Smith

Sophia Smith is a beauty blogger, eco-lifestyle lover, graphic designer and food enthusiast.  She is focusing on minimalism and good quality. Her other hobbies center around her love for nature, well-being and living in balance. Sophia writes mostly about beauty-related topics in her blogs and articles. She has contributed to a number of publications including: Life Goals Mag, Savant Magazine, Secret Garden, Bonvita Style, Cause Artist and Book Meditation Retreats.
You can find out more about her writing by following her on:  Facebook  Twitter  Google +

Why You Should Consider Yoga and Meditation

 

It is estimated that one in five adults will experience a mental illness in any given year with anxiety disorders as the leading cause. Mental illness is recognized when an individual shows ongoing signs and symptoms of stress that affect their ability to function. Mental illness may impact a person’s mood, behavior, and capacity to think or concentrate.

While those suffering from mental illness may feel alone, lost, or incapacitated, research has shown that along with diet and exercise, mindfulness practices such as yoga and meditation can offer amazing benefits that may help some to reduce and/or manage symptoms of mental illness.

Benefits of Yoga

Yoga is one of the oldest body-and-mind practices in the world dating back nearly 5,000 years. Through the use of body positions and postures, breathing techniques, and mindful meditation, yoga provides several benefits to help manage your mental illness. Here are three.

Improves Heart Rate Variability

Heart Rate variability is based on how your heart rate varies when you inhale and exhale. A higher variability is an indicator of physical and mental resilience. Studies show that practicing yoga for as little as six weeks shows an improved heart rate variability as well as a lower resting heart rate; two indicators of a strong stress-response.

Cultivates Positive Thinking

Mental illness is often identified by chronic or frequent bouts of sadness, emptiness, and irritability that impacts a person’s ability to function. Studies have shown that the physical and mindfulness of yoga actually changes the long-term effects of how your brain responds to depression, in some ways acting as a natural antidepressant.

Creates Better Understanding of Self

The mindfulness and mental development promoted by yoga helps a person realize “shadow” qualities they did not know they possessed. Whether those qualities are empathy toward others, confidence, the ability to overcome obstacles, or greater control over mind and body, yoga can open profound possibility.

 

Benefits of Meditation

Meditation is the practice of achieving mental clarity and emotional calm through mindfulness and awareness techniques. The goal of meditation is to bring a person into the “now” while putting aside the stressors brought on by overthinking the past and future. Here are three ways meditation can benefit mental illness.

Improves Sleep

Insomnia is a leading cause of mental illness causing a disruption in your circadian rhythm and sleep patterns. Meditation helps to reduce insomnia and improve sleep quality by focusing your mind on the now rather than the past which cannot be changed and the future which is unpredictable. This awareness helps to place perspective on your surroundings and ease your mind of daily stress leading to a sounder sleep.

Reduces the Chemical Cytokines

Cytokines are inflammatory chemicals that your body releases in response to stress. They can have a negative impact on your mood and emotions. In fact, one scientific-based study on meditation showed significant measurable signs of positive thinking and optimism.

Can Control Pain

How you perceive pain has a direct connection to your state of mind. For people who experience mental illness, their perception of pain can be elevated while experiencing stressful conditions. Meditation has been shown to increase brain activity in areas that control pain. In fact, meditation is used to manage chronic pain for people with terminal illnesses such as cancer.

Yoga and meditation whether practiced independently or symbiotically have been shown to improve the negative effects of mental illness by creating mental and physical awareness, improving sleep, and directly impacting your body’s chemical imbalances to create a positive mental state of being. So, if you’re looking for a mindful way to manage mental illness, ten minutes of yoga or meditation is a great start.

 

About the Author:  Laurie is a writer based on the east coast who enjoys spending her days writing on health and wellness topics. In her free time, she loves doing anything that gets her outdoors breathing fresh air.

 

 

 

 

 

Book Review: The Whole-Brain Child

If you enjoy reading, it is likely that you already understand the therapeutic nature of a good book. At Bliss Counselling, we also recognize the power of reading and the numerous benefits that books provide for us. Reading can encourage individual growth, develop or strengthen empathy, teach us better ways of interacting with the world, or provide much-needed support in difficult times. Below is my review of a recent book recommended to me from Bliss therapist Jenna Luelo!

Book Reviewed

The Whole−Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel M.D., and Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D.

What It’s About

The book provides 12 revolutionary strategies to nurture a child’s developing mind.

Why You Should Read It

I think this book is great for any parent, caregiver or anyone who has an interest in learning more about the developing brain! As a parent, it can be challenging when we are confronted the strong emotions from our children. I enjoyed this book because I believe that it helps us to interpret what is happening in a child’s mind when they are experiencing extreme emotions such as fear or anger. It is a fantastic reminder that sometimes a child is not able to connect their “upstairs brain” (reasoning skills) with their more intense emotions.

Each chapter in the book describes twelve revolutionary strategies that can be used with children. Below is a link to a quick guide outlining each strategy mentioned in the book:

A Quick Guide of Strategies

 

Favourite Quote

“Imagine a peaceful river running through the countryside. That’s your river of well-being. Whenever you’re in the water, peacefully floating along in your canoe, you feel like you’re generally in a good relationship with the world around you. You have a clear understanding of yourself, other people, and your life. You can be flexible and adjust when situations change. You’re stable and at peace. Sometimes, though, as you float along, you veer too close to one of the river’s two banks. This causes different problems, depending on which bank you approach. One bank represents chaos, where you feel out of control. Instead of floating in the peaceful river, you are caught up in the pull of tumultuous rapids, and confusion and turmoil rule the day. You need to move away from the bank of chaos and get back into the gentle flow of the river. But don’t go too far, because the other bank presents its own dangers. It’s the bank of rigidity, which is the opposite of chaos. As opposed to being out of control, rigidity is when you are imposing control on everything and everyone around you. You become completely unwilling to adapt, compromise, or negotiate. Near the bank of rigidity, the water smells stagnant, and reeds and tree branches prevent your canoe from flowing in the river of well-being. So one extreme is chaos, where there’s a total lack of control. The other extreme is rigidity, where there’s too much control, leading to a lack of flexibility and adaptability. We all move back and forth between these two banks as we go through our days—especially as we’re trying to survive parenting. When we’re closest to the banks of chaos or rigidity, we’re farthest from mental and emotional health. The longer we can avoid either bank, the more time we spend enjoying the river of well-being. Much of our lives as adults can be seen as moving along these paths—sometimes in the harmony of the flow of well-being, but sometimes in chaos, in rigidity, or zigzagging back and forth between the two. Harmony emerges from integration. Chaos and rigidity arise when integration is blocked.”

 

Written by Jill Stroeder

 

The Not So Secret Ingredient Every Relationship Needs to Thrive

 

There are many components that most healthy relationships need to thrive including communication, intimacy and honesty. The one element that remains at the top of relationship experts’ lists is trust.

Trust is incredibly important to the success and fulfillment of all relationships, especially intimate or romantic ones.

Whether you believe that trust is something to be earned or something that’s given freely until proven otherwise, it is true that we all carry around pieces of our past in some way or another. Perhaps we’re unconsciously referring back to lessons we learned as kids from the adult role models or parents in our lives. Maybe we’re having trouble learning to trust a new partner, rebuild trust in a partner, or even prove that we are trustworthy.

Trust is necessary for healthy relationships to grow.

Trusting your partner means you can count on them. It’s knowing for sure that they’ll do their best to get your takeout order right at the Thai restaurant on Friday night. It’s also about having faith that they’d pick you up if you were stranded on the side of the road and that they’ll handle any vulnerable information you share with care. Mutual trust means that they can count on you for all of the same reasons.

Trust and communication go like peanut butter and jelly—you need both. And for an intimate relationship to grow deeper, you can’t have one without the other.

Wherever you and your partner(s) are on the spectrum of trust—it’s often something that can be further enriched over time. So how do you do that? Here are some top tips we share with clients in relationship coaching.

Showing your trust

Even though the early stages of a fresh new relationship are filled with fun, they can also be filled with worry. Perhaps you’ve hesitantly sent a text and then didn’t hear back and the thoughts running through your head run from, “They don’t really like me,” to “They’re seeing someone else,” only to hear back, “Sorry! I was just driving!”

The good news is that you’re not alone. Everyone has experienced something similar at one point or another in a past or current relationship.

The early stage of a new relationship is the most essential time to focus on building trust between one another. Starting your relationship with honesty and transparency in all of your communication can go a long way.

Do what you say you’re going to do

One of the simplest ways to build trust is to follow through and merely do what you said you were going to do. When your partner(s) can rely on you to show up, be consistent, dependable, and honest, these easy actions will serve you for your entire relationship together.

And if you happen to make a mistake (don’t worry, we all do), make it right as quickly as possible, apologize, and then avoid repeating that same blunder.

Repair trust in a relationship

Once broken, trust can be repaired—though not always easy, or quick. Regardless of the reason for needing to rebuild trust, you can make efforts to repair what’s been broken (in some cases). You can’t, however, control how the person you hurt or offended by breaking the trust will react, or even be sure that they want to correct what has happened.

Regardless of the receptiveness of your partner(s), the most important move is to take responsibility right away—and doing it without acting in defense. It helps to show the other person that you value the relationship and want to make an effort to move forward while respecting the others’ needs.

How to handle it if your partner doesn’t trust you

If your partner doesn’t trust you, try to keep in mind that it’s about them—not you. Even if you trust your partner, you may have a trust discrepancy in your relationship. And it can be frustrating when nothing you seem to do can help reassure your partner that you’re trustworthy.

Avoid taking it personally if you can, and know that it’s not a reflection on your behaviour (assuming you’ve been trustworthy). Then, all you can do is continue to show just how reliable you are. This can feel tiring if your partner is doubting you, but worth the effort if you value the relationship.

Lastly, if your partner betrayed your trust and you’re feeling like it’s irreparable—it very well might be. Every situation and every relationship is unique. We’re here for you if you need to talk this through.

 

Written by Bliss Sex & Relationship Therapist, Kelly McDonnell-Arnold. Learn more about Kelly and get her secret “Tips From the Couch” here.

If you liked this article on trust you might enjoy these too:

 

Do you have any questions about trust in your relationship? We’re happy to help! Get in touch with us here.

If you’re interested in booking your first appointment with Bliss, you can do that here.

 

 

8 Simple Ways to Love Yourself More This Year

 

It may be a new year, but self-love is always in vogue. If one of your goals is to appreciate yourself more, then you’ve come to the right place. These 8 simple ways to love yourself will get you feeling more comfortable in your own skin than ever before.

  1. Fit in some self-care everyday

Self-care isn’t a once-a-month gig. To properly cultivate a sense of equilibrium and inner wellbeing, you need to dedicate at least 30 minutes per day to taking care of number one.

You weren’t born to serve others, and the least you deserve is half an hour of uninterrupted me-time to get you ready for the next day. What you do to relax is entirely up to you. some people adore a long bath, while others prefer a good book or TV series.

  1. Take yourself on a solo break

For many people, even the act of sitting in a café and having lunch alone is a big step. It can take some serious willpower to forget about what other people think of you, and to just luxuriate in being alone. Once you do, though, it’s the most freeing thing in the world.

When you’ve graduated from the solo café trip, you might consider taking yourself further afield. When’s the last time you travelled by yourself? Maybe it’s time to do that European walking tour you’ve always dreamed about.

  1. Believe that you can, and you will

People who grab opportunities, take chances, and doggedly pursue their ambitions truly succeed in life. They don’t always win, but they never shy away from fighting for what they want. This kind of determination nurtures the soul just as much as any pampering night.

Take inspiration from the women you know who thrive in typically male-dominated sectors or industries. Determined women have risen to the top ranks of trucking companies, and have become CEO of a law firm. These ladies needed self-belief to get where they are, and set a fantastic example for the rest of us.

  1. Stop putting yourself down

Humility is a virtue. When you’re modest to the point of actually denying your talents and achievements, however, self-destruction can ensue. Enjoy celebrating your wins! That new promotion or personal triumph needs recognition – most of all, by you.

  1. Figure out the kind of exercise you actually enjoy

Think back to the types of activities you enjoyed as a kid, and determine the type of exercise which will make youhappy. There are so many inside-out benefits to getting active!

  1. Don’t compare yourself to others

There’s no better testament to the phrase “comparison is the thief of joy” than social media. Although these platforms were created to better connect us with others, they’ve actually turned out to be detrimental to our self-esteem and wellbeing. Consider whether it may be time to take a break from comparing yourself to thousands of curated social media platforms.

  1. Treat others as you would treat yourself

This doesn’t mean whitewashing your own flaws, but accepting them as a part of you,along with the good.

Be objective in your relationship with yourself so that you don’t get lost in the mire of self-loathing. Forgive your past mistakes, and cultivate a sense of positivity about the future. Perhaps most of all, become your own best friend.

  1. Make your life a story

Committing the daily events of your life to pen and paper is a way to value your personal narrative. Writing in a journal can be a fantastic way to step back and reflect. What’s making you happy? Alternatively, are there parts of your life you need to change?

 

About the Author:

Harper is an adventurer, freelance creative writer and Japanese Anime geek. She loves nothing more than long bubble baths, unplanned getaways with her partner, Max, or kisses from their furry babies! You can visit her personal blog here– be sure to come say hi!

 

 

Single this Valentine’s Day? We’ve got you Covered!

 

As Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, it’s hard not to notice stores filling up their shelves with chocolates, stuffies, cards and everything pink and red. For those that soak up all the fun, loving, mushy sentiments, Valentine’s Day can be great! But what about those of you who are riding solo this year? Here are 5 ways to help navigate this Hallmark holiday:

  1. Check in with yourself.What emotions is this day bringing up for you? Once you have identified if there are any lingering feelings that you haven’t dealt with, you can begin to make space to process them. Whether it’s sadness, loneliness, relief or happiness, what are you feeling? Are you holding on to a past relationship, lover, experience, etc.? What do you need to heal and move forward? Valentine’s Day can stir this pot, so make sure you are being honest with where you are at, and what you need.

 

  1. Check in with your friends.Who else is in the same boat as you? Sometimes it can be helpful to know that there are others feeling the same way. Do you have other single friends that you could connect with? Or maybe even friends that are in relationships that don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day? Think about getting together and going out for a movie, dinner, paint night, dancing, a spa day, a yoga session or a killer spin class. If going out isn’t your thing, maybe you could have a low key night at home, or invite friends over for dinner or to hang out on the couch catching up.

 

  1. All my friends are coupled up, so now what do I do? Do something for yourself!Buy yourself those special chocolates you were eyeing earlier at the grocery store, take yourself out for dinner or order in your favourite dish. Do something that will make you feel good and empowered. We are our own worst enemies, and we can get wrapped up or lost in our own thoughts and self-judgments. Be kind to yourself and give yourself a break. Remember that you are worthy of love and healthy relationships, but being single can be celebrated just as much as being coupled up; and Valentine’s Day gives you the opportunity for self-reflection and well-deserved me time!

 

  1. Check in with your family.Maybe you could use this day to have dinner with your parents, or to spend time with a grandparent. Do you have any nieces or nephews? Maybe you could babysit them while their parents go out. It could be fun to do cheesy crafts again, or decorate some heart shaped goodies!

 

  1. Limit social media.We all have those friends on our Facebook or Instagram feeds who create over the top posts on how great their partner is, and how loved they are. While that may be something they feel is important for them to share on their platform, it can feed challenging or unhelpful thoughts that you may be experiencing. Social media has the tendency to contribute to our need to compare where our friends are at in their lives and relationships with where we are. So, if you think you may feel triggered by seeing what your friends are sharing on Valentines Day, don’t spend as much time scrolling!

 

There isn’t a clear path to avoiding Valentine’s Day altogether, but there are definitely ways to help you navigate the day and get out on the other side. If you really do find yourself struggling with where you’re at right now and need someone to talk to, you can always connect with one of us here at Bliss Counselling.

 

Do you need some ideas of solo activities, or things to do with friends this Valentine’s Day? Check out these websites for things to do around KW!

  1. https://www.ammayoga.ca (Restorative yoga? Yes please!)
  2. https://www.hustlandflow.com/home (Kick boxing, spin classes, yoga and juice bar)
  3. https://www.socialart.ca (Get your paint on)
  4. https://www.dejavusalonandspa.ca (Pamper yourself)
  5. https://www.thewatersspa.com (Making me time)
  6. https://www.ginaspa.com (Focusing on yourself)
  7. http://adventurerooms.ca(Grab a team and try to escape these rooms)
  8. https://batlgrounds.com/axe-throwing-kitchener/ (Let it go!)
  9. https://www.ctrlv.ca/ctrl-v-waterloo-flagship/ (Whoa!)
  10. https://www.cineplex.com/Theatre/cineplex-cinemas-kitchener-and-vip?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=local&utm_content=CPXKitchenerVIP (Drinks, food, movies, sounds like a plan)
  11. https://apollocinema.ca (A gem kind of spot)
  12. http://www.princesscinemas.com (And they have a café too!)
  13. https://www.facebook.com/PatentSocial/ (Super Mario!)
  14. https://www.acepingponglounge.com (Ping Pong)
  15. http://www.crossroadscafe.ca (Board games)
  16. http://www.gamesontap.ca (More board games)

 

Written by Bliss sexologist Lindsay Kenna. Learn more about Lindsay and get her secret “Tips From the Couch” here.

7 Relationship Challenges Therapists See All the Time

 

In a new relationship, everything feels fresh and fun. You anticipate dates for days in advance with butterflies in your heart and are uncovering all these goodies about each other every day. It’s like unwrapping your birthday gifts all year long.

Over time, as you grow closer and more familiar with one another you’re likely to run into some bumps in the road. In couples therapy, we work with clients on these kinds of issues—big, small, and everything in between, every day. So first, know that you’re not the only ones running up against these challenges.

Next, based on our work with couples who have navigated or are still finding their way around these tricky spots, here are the top challenges that pop up most often between couples, and how to approach them:

1. Your partner has some bad habits (and it’s grating on your nerves)

Perhaps your partner has a habit of leaving dishes on the counter or leaving empty rolls of toilet paper for you to change. At first, these little quirks didn’t bother you much. Maybe you noticed but didn’t pay it much attention. Perhaps you’ve even mentioned it a few times thinking they’d change their ways. Well, here you are months or years later and nothing has really changed. Loving your partner(s) means learning to fully accept less than desirable habits.

You could keep falling down the irritation trap and mention the toilet paper or the dishes thing every time it happens. Or, after not noticing changes, you could learn to let insignificant things go. If your partner is engaging in any kind of behaviour that’s truly hurtful, harmful, or crosses any of your boundaries, then your communication will need to be more direct. This also may be a good time to bring in a couples therapist.

2. You may argue about your families

Your partner chose you but they can’t choose their family. Though at times, maybe you wish you could send some family members back, but that’s not helping to strengthen your communication with your partner. Family is often a sensitive topic between couples, and there’s a lot that comes into play here, from upbringing, culture, and what one partner deems as “normal” family stuff. Boundaries are helpful in all relationships, and especially ones where family members may be causing a problem.

3. Your partner can’t fill all the shoes

We might have a long list of demands of our partners. We require them to be the love of our lives, be romantic, be our sexual partners, parenting partners, best friends, and even financial advisors. It’s not possible or necessarily even healthy for one person to tick all the boxes on another’s list of demands. We all have many needs, and need a variety of people in our lives to fill these different roles.

4. Your desire will fluctuate

If your sensual encounters were toe-curling in the early months of your relationship, and then one of you suddenly lost interest a few months down the road, this is totally normal. Our lives are in a perpetual state of change, including our sexual desires. There are many things that can affect our fluctuating desire levels, from family, stress, work, and a jam-packed schedule. A mismatch in desire creeps into the healthiest of intimate relationships and that’s perfectly natural. Sometimes couples need to let go of the idea that sex is the end goal, and learn to find more pleasure in all the other ways they can be intimate together. In our practice, we work with couples to help them communicate what’s going on behind a desire discrepancy, and work with them to find a new groove that works for them.

5. Money may be a source of conflict

Once financials co-mingle, this can be an added stressor for many couples. When people come together in a relationship, they each bring their own ideals, values, and perceptions of money and how it should be spent, saved, and handled. We often recommend alleviating financial tension by having clients act like more of a team to handle any money issues and decisions as they come up.

6. Work might get in the way

When you first started dating, perhaps you or your partner would drop everything for a chance to go out to dinner. As you got more comfortable in your relationship, other competing priorities likely crept in. Perhaps even a promotion or new job calls for more attention than in the past. Regardless of the reason for the change, work might come up as a point of contention at one point in your relationship.

7. Staying faithful is hard work

You or your partner may inevitably become attracted to others, and you may even find yourself wondering if you made the right partner choice. The essential point to keep in mind is that while staying monogamous can feel hard at times, it’s worth the effort if it’s something both of you value. Alternatively, a sex-positive relationship therapist can support you in exploring consensual non-monogamy.

 

As you spend more time in an intimate relationship, know that every bump you encounter has the power to help you deepen and strengthen your connection. Staying mindful of everyone’s feelings, keeping communication kind and honest, and putting a deliberate effort into your relationship can help you come out the other side of any troubles even closer than you were before.

 

Written by Bliss sexologist Kelly McDonnell-Arnold. Learn more about Kelly and get her secret “Tips From the Couch”here.

 

If you enjoyed this article you might like these too:

 

Do you have any questions for us? Or do you need some help with creating healthy habits in your relationship? We’re happy to help! Get in touch with us here.

If you’re interested in booking your first appointment with Bliss, you can do that here.

The Health Benefits of Living a Mindful Life

In the modern-day bustle of living, mindfulness doesn’t always come easy. We’re tired, distracted, and always rushing to get something done, and it’s rare for us to stop and take a pause, to really analyze everything that’s going on around us. But if we want to improve our quality of life, then mindfulness is necessary and we have to stop making excuses—it’s time to slow down and assess our situation, it’s time to start taking better care of our mental and physical health.

Becoming mindful is a process that brings many benefits, and if you’re interested in how it can transform you, we’re here to show you.

You’ll become true to yourself

Humans are social creatures. While this is a good thing that makes it easier to live in a community, sometimes it can also mean the loss of individuality and a damaged sense of self—we try so hard to please everyone and it’s easy to get caught up in our thoughts, feelings, and insecurities to the point that they start ruining our lives. Rather than wondering what will make us happy in this moment, we think about what will look good, what will be socially accepted. Rather than nurturing our own unique selves, we attempt to stifle that energy and mold it into something more agreeable.

This is exactly what mindfulness can help with—instead of chipping away at your individuality, it can help you lift it up and remind you why it’s so important to stay true to yourself. Happiness doesn’t lie in pandering to everyone else, no matter how much you love them. It lies in the knowledge that you are the master of your own fate, and it’s on you to make the best of what life has to offer. 

You’ll learn how to take care of your needs

When you start nurturing your spirit, you’ll remember that you must take care of your needs before doing anything else. Mindfulness will help you realize that taking time off and doing things that are good for your health isn’t a mere indulgence. No, it’s absolutely essential. If you want a good example of how important it is to develop self-care strategies, look at Asian cultures. In China, there’s a great emphasis on things like massage therapy, acupuncture, and hydrotherapy as a way to improve wellness. A lot of people have developed a habit of going to a good spa salon when life gets overwhelming, and it’s becoming as common as going to a doctor when you get sick. It’s not just a treat, it’s a health strategy.

If you want to care for yourself, consider doing something similar. Figure out what ails you, what needs to be fixed, what kind of things relax you and make you happy. If reading books puts you in a good mood, the find the time to read. Exercise, eat well, and do what needs to be done to keep your mental and physical health in good shape.

You’ll reduce anxiety in your life

Since all of these things are connected, living in the moment and focusing on what’s right in front of you will undoubtedly make you a lot less anxious. You won’t keep worrying about things that haven’t even happened yet, you won’t keep remembering embarrassing mistakes from the past. You’ll look at what’s happening right now and you’ll know how to enjoy it.

Your relationships will improve

Once you’re connected to the energy around you and all your needs are met, it’s a lot easier to practice empathy and understand those that are close to you. Patience and gentleness that come from being mindful open up a path towards better communication, and very often talking it out with your loved ones is all you need to improve your relationship. Knowing yourself will also help you know other people better—you’ll understand their fears, insecurities, and generally what makes them tick. You’ll know how to deal with an unpleasant situation and create stronger bonds. Years of pent up anger and bitterness could finally dissipate because you’ll learn how to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, and you’ll learn to let toxic people go and stick only to those who release positive energy into your life.

You’ll feel more attractive

Mindfulness means being in control of your emotions and knowing your own truth. Instead of being plagued by doubt and insecurities, you’ll be able to let those go and embrace and celebrate all of your positive sides. The confidence gained from that is a huge boost to how good you feel in your own skin. You’ll simply become aware of your own worth, and that is something unshakable.  

Leading a mindful life is within your reach. Through meditation, self-care, and other activities that help you live in the moment. Once you learn to let go of the past and stop fretting about the future you’ll be able to finally see what’s going on around you—a whole world of beauty and success that’s just waiting for you to embrace it.

Written by: Sophia Smith

Sophia Smith is a beauty blogger, eco-lifestyle lover, graphic designer and food enthusiast.  She is focusing on minimalism and good quality. Her other hobbies center around her love for nature, well-being and living in balance. Sophia writes mostly about beauty-related topics in her blogs and articles. She has contributed to a number of publications including: Life Goals Mag, Savant Magazine, Secret Garden, Bonvita Style, Cause Artist and Book Meditation Retreats.
You can find out more about her writing by following her on:  Facebook  Twitter  Google +

7 Essential Habits of People in Healthy Relationships

 

Healthy Relationships—They take work, self-awareness, and (frequent) communication. And that’s not all. 

Growing a budding relationship into a thriving one that feels good for everyone involved takes deliberate and focused attention.

 

What we pay attention to grows, and our intimate relationships are no different.

Whether you’re on your third date or you’ve been together for three decades, studies show that the more connected we are to our partners, the happier we are in all other areas of our lives.

Those in the healthiest relationships have some key things in common. They practice relationship-building habits. And not just at the beginning of the relationship, but years into their intimate adventure too.

 

Here are 7 habits to go deeper in your intimate relationships:

1. Lay on the praise

Peek inside a healthy relationship and you’ll see an abundance of compliments and praise. They’ll do this publicly too—they aren’t afraid to show their appreciation for one another. They also talk about their partners in a positive light instead of complaining. The healthiest relationships focus on all the good things about their partner(s) instead of focusing on all the things they wish were different.

2. Prioritize connection

People in healthy relationships regularly connect each day and every week—no matter what. No matter how busy life and work gets. In our practice, we’ve seen people taking regular after-dinner walks, making the time to connect over coffee in the morning, scheduling date nights and sticking to them. Even 20-minutes spent alone with your partner, distraction-free, even from bed, can do wonders to amp up the closeness factor of your relationship.

To make the most of your conneting time, put all outside distractions such as your phone, computer, and all other screens away! If you have kids, an excellent opportunity to do this may be when they’re asleep for the night, or at Grandma’s. Doing so is good modeling for children too! When they’re old enough, direct the kids to avoid interrupting you because it’s your adult time to connect over coffee (or whatever else you’re connecting over!).

3. Laugh—a lot

Having a sense of humour is essential for life, and possibly even more important for people in relationships. It’s hard to stay mad when someone can lighten the mood. Of course, leave the laughs out of the serious conversations, but the more you can weave some snorts and giggles into all your moments, the more connected your intimate relationship will feel.

4. See life from their eyes

Great relationships are filled to the brim with empathy. They know how to put themselves in each other’s shoes. When people empathize with one another, they’re usually able to get past common misunderstandings that creep up in all relationships. Helping the other person feel seen, heard, and valued is a way to show you genuinely care.

5. Keep flirting
Keep the fun and flirty interactions going long after the first few dates. When partners flirt with each other, they’re showing their love and excitement for life with each other. It simply feels good! Think about flirting as the long game, and not just when you’re hoping to get a date or get to the “next stage” of your relationship.

6. Think like scientists

Constantly think of new ways you can look at your relationship. People in healthy relationships often think of it as having two or three relationships with the same person. Play and experiment with everything from your date nights to how to feel more connected. And when something doesn’t seem to be working, put your scientist hat on and get curious about what you could do differently or try next.

7. Stay forever curious

It’s easy to get lost in the day-to-day hustle and take our loved ones for granted. When we combine this with the understanding that we’ll all change and grow throughout our lives, and if we’re not pausing to tune in, we could end up growing in different directions. Constantly stay curious and get to know your partner. Ask questions about what’s making them tick, what’s driving them, and then really listen. Here are some ideas to prompt a deeper discussion:

  • What can I do for you right now to help you feel more loved?
  • Have I done anything recently that may have unknowingly hurt you?
  • Is there any kind of emotional or physical intimacy you feel is missing?
  • How do you feel about our sex life lately?
  • Is there anything stressing you lately and can I help alleviate that stress for you?

 

Asking these questions may feel scary at first. Listen and stay open. Then sincerely thank them for sharing their thoughts—sharing often isn’t easy either!

While these are just some examples of the habits that the people in the healthiest relationships regularly take on, there are countless other ways that you and your partner(s) can love each other through the tricky situations and deepen your connection. The best way to find your groove is to keep talking.

 

Written by Bliss sexologist Kelly McDonnell-Arnold. Learn more about Kelly and get her secret “Tips From the Couch” here.

 

If you enjoyed this article you might like these too:

 

Do you have any questions for us? Or do you need some help with creating healthy habits in your relationship? We’re happy to help! Get in touch with us here.

If you’re interested in booking your first appointment with Bliss, you can do that here.

 

 

How to Manage Stress at Bedtime

Everyone deals with stress. It’s a part of daily life. And eight in 10 Americans say they feel stress sometimes or frequently during the day.

Stress is a natural reaction to challenges. When we’re stressed, we get a boost of energy with an elevated heart rate and higher blood pressure. It’s nature’s way of offering support as we deal with threats or challenges. However, experiencing stress all day every day is not good for your health, and can result in increased cardiovascular risk, smoking, overeating, and headaches. Common sources of stress include politics, money, work, violence, and crime.

But for some people, stress is debilitating, and can interfere with sleep quality. We may stay up at night thinking anxious thoughts, or find it difficult to get good quality rest while feeling particularly stressed.

In fact, it’s common for adults who experience high stress to say they don’t sleep enough because their minds race at night. And 35 percent of teens, 31 percent of Millennials, and 27 percent of Gen Xers say stress keeps them up at night.

And although stress can so easily interfere with sleep, getting a good night’s sleep can relieve stress. When we’re well rested, we’re more mentally and physically prepared to face the challenges of the day at full capacity. If we’re short on sleep, we may struggle to concentrate, manage emotions, or deal well with fatigue.

What to Do to Relieve Stress and Sleep Well

Combining stress relief and healthy sleep habits can offer a better night’s sleep and may improve your stress levels throughout the day. Take these steps for relief:

  • Manage stress with relaxation practices. Proven stress relievers may make it easier to calm down and relax before bed and get a good night’s sleep. Practice yoga or meditation as part of a bedtime routine to wind down and release tension before it’s time to rest.
  • Keep a journal next to bed. If stressful thoughts at night are a problem, a journal may help.
  • Address fears. It’s ok to feel scared at night sometimes. Dark shadows, strange noises, and general uneasiness plague adults as well as children. Consider comfort items, such as a nightlight, which may make it easier to feel more secure at night.
  • Commit to healthy sleep. Good sleep can support stress relief, so practice healthy sleep habits. Keep a regular sleep schedule and maintain a regular bedtime routine. Steer clear of pitfalls including late night screen time and caffeine.
  • Get support for stress. No one has to go it alone when dealing with stress. Talk to friends, family, and counselors who can help when working through stressful situations that call for help.
  • Eliminate stress as much as possible. Overdoing it can easily lead to stress, so it may be a good idea to cut back. If possible, eliminate stressful activities and prioritize commitments.

 

Stress and sleep often go hand in hand, so improving one can often improve the other. Focus on managing stress and practicing healthy sleep habits to support good mental health.

Sara Westgreen is a researcher for the sleep science hub Tuck.com. She sleeps on a king size bed in Texas, where she defends her territory against cats all night. A mother of three, she enjoys beer, board games, and getting as much sleep as she can get her hands on.

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