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Sexy Friday: Sexual Trauma, Divorce and FAQ!

Welcome to another Sexy Friday at Bliss Counselling! We are confident that you are going to love what we have in store for you this week! Today we are sharing another fun and informative episode of Sex Talk with Kelly on Rogers TV! On this episode, Kelly is joined by special guests Keri Martin Vrbanac, a registered physiotherapist and pelvic health physiotherapist, as well as Roger Macintosh, a lawyer at Rabideau Law. Before the episode is over, Kelly will be joined by Jo Flannery to answer some of their most frequently asked questions!

Keri joins Kelly to talk about sexual trauma and pelvic health, explaining that sexual trauma is quite common for all genders. On this episode, Keri provides some insight on how she works with survivors, emphasizing the importance of creating a survivor friendly environment in order to ensure that everyone receives a positive medical experience that supports healing from past abuse.

Roger Macintosh is on Sex Talk with Kelly to talk about mediation and litigation divorce, explaining that separation agreements will help set the expectaions clear so that there are no surprises when it comes to child support, custody, assests, and so on. He also explains the difference between mediation and court, explaining that mediation can be a helpful way to resolve issues in a much less aggressive arena and in a way that can ultimately be cheaper for both parties. However, he explains that this process will require significant cooperation between spouses.

Lastly, the moment you’ve all been waiting for! Jo Flannery and Kelly answer the most frequently asked questions about size, porn, fantasies and more! Are you interested in hearing what these experts have to say? Check out the full video HERE!

 

Guest Information:

Keri Martin Vrbanac

Facebook page: A Body In Motion Rehabilitation

Twitter: @ABIMpelvicPT and @abodyinmotion1

Roger Macintosh

Twitter: @rabideaulaw

Instagram: @rabideaulawcanada

Jo Flannery

Twitter: @SEXOLOGYMag

Instagram: @sexologyin

 

Couples Therapy for Preventative Maintenance? Why It Works

Navigating the relationship we have with ourselves is tricky enough, add in a partner, and relationships can be downright hard. In a partnership, you’re merging differing backgrounds, stories, possible triggers, preferences, and experiences. No wonder relationships are so much work.

In the past, you may have heard of couples going to therapy together to do some repair work on their relationship after something had been “broken.” Maybe there were huge communication issues, abuse, mistrust, or a betrayal. Couples therapy has often had a certain seriousness surrounding it, since it used to be commonly viewed as a last resort to save a failing marriage.

Today, however, many couples are happily stepping into therapy together when they don’t have any concerns. Whether they’re partnered, dating, or common-law, these couples are taking a proactive step to help figure out how to “do” relationships better before any problems arise.

Couples therapy can help to address any communication patterns that leave us feeling stuck, or keep us from feeling happy and secure in a relationship. Therapy encourages us to develop new and healthy patterns that can help those in a relationship feel more intimacy and closeness with their partner(s).

As a population, we’re getting better at looking after ourselves, but relationships can still get the cold shoulder in our long list of rituals we use to look after our appearance, mind, health, and bodies. People may go to couples therapy long before anything “significant” is going on, like marriage or kids. They do this to understand more about each other’s communication styles, and how they can chat about the small stuff before it can become big stuff.

You may be worrying that this is a little dramatic. Even if you already get along great, the fact that you’re taking a stand to make your relationship even better tells your partner how much you care. Rest assured that many couples are sitting down on our therapists’ couches to learn to become better as individuals, as a partner, and as a parent or friend.

 

Here are some reasons why attending couples therapy before you think you need to is a great idea:

Personal growth

If you love a good self-development book or enjoy moving your body, improving your relationship can also help you to grow as a person. Since couples therapy focuses heavily on learning how to communicate better—anyone can benefit from this! You could even think of it as physical therapy, like a regular trip to the gym to help strengthen a particular muscle.

Learn to solve conflict efficiently

You’re always going to have conflict and problems throughout your life, so learning smart problem-solving techniques sooner rather than later can save you headaches in the long run. And when problems pop up in the future, you’ll have new tools to handle them.

Communicate better for a lifetime

Therapy can help you learn how to truly listen to each other and understand what’s behind your latest argument. Often, the source of your conflict is something that’s just on the surface and isn’t a true issue. These are skills you’ll take with you for a lifetime of rock-solid relationship success.

Feel like part of a team

Couples therapy can help you feel like you’re working together as part of a team to create a relationship that feels happy and healthy for everyone. And when you put each other first and prioritize your relationship, this puts the relationship in the spotlight.

It’s like a tune-up for your car

You may decide that visiting a couples therapist regularly is a fantastic way to check-in with each other and your progress as a couple. You could even look at it as an occasional tune-up, to help keep your relationship working in a way that’s healthy for you both. Many couples decide that engaging in brief stints of couples therapy offers them a chance to check in with each other in a safe space. Looking after your relationship can fall behind our growing list of responsibilities—work, parenting, and being a good friend. When you nurture your relationship, this allows other areas to thrive as well.

It doesn’t have to be forever

Therapy that is. After some time you may both decide that you’ve come a long way and no longer need a mediator anymore. You could continue setting time aside each week to check in as a couple, and communicating what’s working well and what’s not. The skills and communication tools you have at your fingertips from therapy will serve you for life.

When you’re ready, go into couples therapy with intention. Visiting with a couples therapist can help you create a better relationship or give you a clearer vision of the kind of person or people you want to be.

 

If you’re ready to explore the idea of regular couples therapy, get in touch! We’re happy to help you figure out if therapy is right for you.

Written by Bliss Therapist Kelly McDonnell-Arnold

 

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