5 Work/Life Balance Tips for Incredible Mompreneurs 2 July 2019 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Guest Post, Inspiration, Life Coaching, Self Care, Uncategorised Being a mom is never easy. Mom is also a nurse, a chef, and teacher. It brings immeasurable joy to the heart, but there’s no shame in admitting that sometimes things get really hard. When mom also has entrepreneurial ambitions, finding a work-life balance can be complicated because there’s her work on one side and her children on another. Add a significant other into the mix and things can get quite chaotic. Here are some tips on how to get work and life balance in order. 1. Exercise Sitting in the office all day can be a disaster for the back. Even if you work from home, chances are that you spend a lot of time sitting. It’s important to find some time off to work out. There are few ways to exercise: in a group, in pairs or individually. If time and money allow, go to a gym and find a personal trainer. In case that’s not possible, try working out at home or find a group of people to exercise with. Home workouts are also good since it lets you do it on your own terms. 2. Get organized Knowing when to do something and at what time can be immensely helpful for organizing day-to-day activities. Using containers to make meals in advance and vacuum bags will help you arrange your food and clothes for the week. Learn how to multi-task efficiently. For work, using a good project management tool can significantly reduce work-related stress. There are countless other apps that can be helpful in managing professional and personal activities, and if you’re more of an old-school type, then get a quality notebook planner and keep it with you all the time. 3. Learn to relax Doing laundry, cooking meals and reading bedtime stories is already exhausting, but when you add work deadlines and demanding clients, things get more difficult. That’s why it’s necessary to take some time off and loosen up a bit. Having a bath, reading, watching TV can be relaxing and energizing at the same time. Additionally, treating yourself for a professional massage experience can help you unwind and forget your daily worries, even only for a bit. Mental well-being is crucial to stay focused and thrive. Being alone can be beneficial for recollecting thoughts and decompressing. Also, having regular date nights with your spouse can help you two reconnect and add some zest to your marriage. 4. Know when to say no Being a mompreneur can be very empowering, however, shuffling work duties, money management, family responsibilities, and personal care can put you under significant strain, but it can be done as long as there are set boundaries. Especially if you’re the type everyone relies on. Being needed can be stimulating sometimes, but one must learn how to say no. Prioritizing tasks is what separates successful people from those who do everything for everybody. Remember that your family and your health should always come first. Everything else is less important. 5. Ask for help Having a great career or a business of your own is a notable achievement by itself. Adding a family to the mix can make things complete. But no matter how hard-working you are, there are times when you’ll feel tired. That’s fine and shouldn’t be treated as a failure. We all need a hand sometimes, even the mompreneurs. Asking for help is not something to be embarrassed about. Relying on your partner is much better and can help bring the family together. Also, being in touch with other mompreneurs can significantly help you learn and find support when you need it the most. After all, people who are similar to you can also understand you better and empathize with you on a deeper level. Just remember that being a superwoman doesn’t mean doing everything by yourself. Asking for help is crucial if you want to thrive in all aspects of your life. Written by: Sophia Smith Sophia Smith is a beauty blogger, eco-lifestyle lover, graphic designer and food enthusiast. She is focusing on minimalism and good quality. Her other hobbies center around her love for nature, well-being and living in balance. Sophia writes mostly about beauty-related topics in her blogs and articles. She has contributed to a number of publications including: Life Goals Mag, Savant Magazine, Secret Garden, Bonvita Style, Cause Artist and Book Meditation Retreats. You can find out more about her writing by following her on: Facebook Twitter Google +
5 Mindfulness Practices from Powerful Women 29 April 2019 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Guest Post, Inspiration, Life Coaching, Self Care Being stress-free in the 21stcentury is not all that easy. The pressure from work, family, exercise, studying and leaving some time to hang out with friends can be quite overwhelming. Our mind is constantly working, it has no pause, and the worst thing is that it is always creating different scenarios, making us feel anxious and depressed. It all sounds so negative and scary but with some tips on mindfulness, you can be one step closer to living a better life. There is a big difference between being lonely and alone Loneliness is the number one reason behind depression, according to many people. Not having somebody to share your troubles with or simply talk can severely damage even our brain function in addition to making us depressed. However, keep in mind that being alone doesn’t necessarily mean you are lonely. In fact, research shows that it is good for us to spend some time alone. The philosophy behind this is that we will get to know ourselves better. We will be in touch with our needs and wishes. When It comes to relationships, we will be sure that we are a part of it because we want to be, not because we are lonely and in need of a companion. It might sound cheesy, but get to know and love yourself first, only then will you be able to have meaningful connections. Don’t be too hard on yourself Self-criticism can be a good thing if used correctly. You should look at everything you do objectively and you shouldn’t praise yourself if you have done something wrong. But there is a line that has to be drawn somewhere. A line where you will stop with negative thoughts and turn more towards self-support. Whatever the reason may be: you haven’t accomplished something you wanted to by a certain age or you feel like a failure in some way, always keep in mind that there is time. So, give it some time, pick yourself up, and start from where you left off. Simply by trying you will feel much better. Overthinking is our biggest enemy Rationalizing your problems, tasks, and everyday life is very effective. Thinking ahead also. However, overthinking is something you should step away from. By doing that we are creating additional problems that we don’t already have. As opposed to doing this, stay in the present. Think about what your current situation is, and, to put it simply, go with the flow. Learn to resolve your problems once they really do become a problem, not in advance. Take some burden off yourself and enjoy life day by day. Pampering yourself is not a luxury A connection exists between your mind and body, even scientists think so. Before thinking about taking care of your body, make some time for your mind as well. Simple things are quite effective, like reading a book, decorating, listening to music or being with people who inspire you. Once we have settled this, the body will follow, although it wouldn’t hurt to help a bit. Even if you think that you are indulging way too much if you book a spa treatment or get a manicure, the truth is that sometimes this kind of spoiling is exactly what you need. In addition to being in touch with your nature and character, it is important to take care of your physical appearance in order to feel good. It doesn’t need to be anything luxurious as long as it is within natural product lines. Even better, something like cruelty free makeup lets you take care of your appearance while still feeling good about the products you use. And don’t worry, because there is a big market to choose from. Breathing exercises and mediation If you are into meditation or yoga, practicing it is most certainly beneficial for both your physical and mental health. But don’t get too caught up in the traditional meaning of meditation. If you like lying on the bedroom floor and listening to music or cleaning to help with anxiety, then, by all means, do it. It can be your own version of mediation. The form is not important as long as it makes you feel better. The whole concept of mindfulness is not to suppress our thoughts, but to enjoy experiences in life without overthinking. Written by: Sophia Smith Sophia Smith is a beauty blogger, eco-lifestyle lover, graphic designer and food enthusiast. She is focusing on minimalism and good quality. Her other hobbies center around her love for nature, well-being and living in balance. Sophia writes mostly about beauty-related topics in her blogs and articles. She has contributed to a number of publications including: Life Goals Mag, Savant Magazine, Secret Garden, Bonvita Style, Cause Artist and Book Meditation Retreats. You can find out more about her writing by following her on: Facebook Twitter Google +
5 Tips to Feel More Grateful and Blissful 18 March 2019 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Guest Post, Individual Therapy, Inspiration, Relationships, Self Care, Therapy No one is immune to the stress of everyday life. The grind we face at work, the conflicts we encounter (and often cause) in personal relationships, the dissatisfaction with our selfhood – it all plays havoc with how aware we are of the true beauty that life holds. We miss the grateful smile of a waiter whom you tipped, the elderly couple celebrating their half-a-century of togetherness, and we’re blind to the beauty of an urban sunset, too busy rushing to catch our bus. While it’s true that all of your troubles and their gravity can cause you emotional turmoil, we all have the ability and numerous opportunities every day to become more open to the wonders of life and feel genuinely grateful for them. It’s like finding your little safe haven of bliss in the eye of a storm: and here are the five ways to become more attuned to your inner child, one amazed and grateful for life even amidst chaos. Find your words Our mind is shaped by the words we use to describe ourselves. When you find yourself feeling guilty over a mistake you’ve made, you further exasperate the emotion and hurt your self-perception by “rubbing it in” with harsh language and self-deprecating thoughts. It becomes automatic, so we curse and complain and punish ourselves for the smallest of failings, no matter how human they are. We set impossible standards and expectations. And we always focus on our shortcomings, even when we do succeed. Being more grateful should start within, by choosing a different language to describe yourself and your accomplishments. Would you ever use those stern words to comfort your friend for their recent failure? You wouldn’t even use the word failure in all likelihood. Start writing your words down, and start reshaping your self-descriptions with more love and more encouragement. It will ultimately help you perceive yourself as the worthy, imperfect, incredible person that you are. Nurture your closest bonds As our lives develop, we spend so much of our time on distractions rather than our life’s substance and its deepest meaning. We’ll spend more time scrolling our Facebook feed than talking to our loved ones, or watching TV instead of visiting our family. Our parents are perfect examples of this digital abyss we’ve fallen into: they have helped us build our independence, and now we find ourselves mesmerized by the irrelevant, too busy to express our gratitude for such unspoken gifts. While it’s true that holidays shouldn’t be the only time to show our gratitude for our family members, if you take the time to peruse through Mother’s Day gifts in order to find the perfect one for your mom, you’ll let your actions speak for you to express your gratitude. When it’s evident from the gift itself that you haven’t treated it as another chore, but as an opportunity to express your love, your family will know and appreciate the gesture. Remember, every day is Mother’s Day. So perhaps while we wait for May 12th, a phone call is in order? Take a deep breath The fact that some things go without saying, such as your mom’s love and affection, does not mean that we should take them for granted. Breathing, for instance, is a perfect example of something we take for granted that has an incredible ability to heal us. One of the best ways to nurture your mindfulness every day is to include breathing exercises paired with affirmations. They will not only help you soothe your anxieties in the moment of practice, but they’ll also help you become more mindful of your every moment of every day. You’ll start noticing your stress triggers and you’ll have better control of your experience, you’ll learn how to let go of resentment and focus on the present moment. Forgive yourself as well as others While we’re on the topic of resentment, we spend too much of our time stressing over what we’ve done wrong or what was done to us in the past. The simple truth is that the only way you’ll ever have the chance to enjoy your present is if you let go of the past – it has already shaped you to an extent, we all have moments we regret, but they needn’t taint our present and our future as well. Forgiveness is the only vessel we need to give ourselves a chance to fully enjoy our present, and the only vessel we need in order to outgrow our past self. If you let anger or regret permeate your entire life, you relinquish control to those negative emotions and the events that have caused them – forgiveness means taking back control over your life. Make a difference Finally, sometimes we need and should get a different perspective in order to fully grasp the value of our lives. Ask what you can do for others, how you can make a difference for others, and let your ego deflate a little bit – you and I are not the only creatures that matter in this universe. If you can do something to help others, whether it’s helping your elderly neighbor clean their garden or donate your clothes to those in need, you’ll quickly contribute to a valuable cause and give yourself a new vantage point, one of appreciation. Life is indeed too short to spend it on resentments. Use these simple tips to help yourself feel more grateful, and you’ll unleash an avalanche of bliss into your life, no matter how many hardships you face in the future. Written by: Sophia Smith Sophia Smith is a beauty blogger, eco-lifestyle lover, graphic designer and food enthusiast. She is focusing on minimalism and good quality. Her other hobbies center around her love for nature, well-being and living in balance. Sophia writes mostly about beauty-related topics in her blogs and articles. She has contributed to a number of publications including: Life Goals Mag, Savant Magazine, Secret Garden, Bonvita Style, Cause Artist and Book Meditation Retreats. You can find out more about her writing by following her on: Facebook Twitter Google +
Group Therapy -Spring 2019 17 March 2019 Kelly McDonnell-Arnold No comments Categories: Self Care, Therapy, Workshops You are longing for a more fulfilling sense of connection with yourself and others. You want to improve your relationships and maybe even feel better about yourself. Making meaningful connections is hard for you. You often wish you could connect in a more deep and meaningful way with others. Perhaps you have noticed a recurring pattern in your relationships that you would love to change or understand better. You know you need to get better at creating healthy boundaries, but you have no idea where to start. And social situations—UGH! You often struggle and feel anxious. You would like to know how you relate to others, but do not have anyone to give you an honest (and kind) opinion. What if you had a safe and supportive space to explore your feelings, connect with others, and practice new behaviours to help you create more fulfilling relationships? Imagine feeling more connected to the important people in your life. Picture yourself communicating in a way that feels good to you and helps you to feel seen and heard. Envision that you are excited to sit down and have conversations with your friends, family, or your partner and are confident in your ability to be supportive of others, while asking for the support you need. Finally! Visualize feeling better about yourself and creating and deepening the relationships that matter most to you. You can do all this in Group Therapy. Group therapy is a powerful tool for growth and change. In therapy groups, you will use the group format and a proven process as a mechanism to help you explore, heal, and change through developing and examining interpersonal relationships in the group. What to expect: 7 Weekly Sessions: You will meet your group once per week for 90 minutes for 7 weeks. Small Groups for Multiple Perspectives: This group will consist of 6-10 individuals who meet face-to-face to share their every day struggles and concerns with two registered social workers and relationship therapists, Kelly and Melissa. Support and Encouragement:You will tap into the power of this group with the unique opportunity to receive multiple perspectives, support, encouragement, and feedback from other individuals in a safe and confidential environment. Deepened Self-Awareness: You will have the opportunity to deepen your level of self-awareness to learn how you relate to others and to practice new ways of being in a relationship with others. Topics That Matter Most To You: You will enjoy the unstructured nature of the group. Instead of covering one specific topic for each group session, you can focus on a particular theme or issue that’s important to you. Practice Giving Support:You will become more supportive in your personal life as you get a chance to give support and feedback to others. Are you interested in joining us? Great! We’d love to have you. Join the waitlist here and you’ll be the first to know when our Spring group opens up! Coverage: For many people, group therapy with a social worker (MSW or RSW) or psychotherapist (RP) is covered under their insurance plans. THE GROUP AS LABORATORY In trying these new ways of interacting with others, the important thing is to do something that feels difficult. Old, familiar ways of behaving will probably not result in productive experiments. Moreover, a new behaviour may seem difficult at first, but with practice, it gets easier. Then the new behaviour may be added to your repertoire-your range options-and it’s available whenever you need it.
8 Simple Ways to Love Yourself More This Year 11 February 2019 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Guest Post, Inspiration, Self Care It may be a new year, but self-love is always in vogue. If one of your goals is to appreciate yourself more, then you’ve come to the right place. These 8 simple ways to love yourself will get you feeling more comfortable in your own skin than ever before. Fit in some self-care everyday Self-care isn’t a once-a-month gig. To properly cultivate a sense of equilibrium and inner wellbeing, you need to dedicate at least 30 minutes per day to taking care of number one. You weren’t born to serve others, and the least you deserve is half an hour of uninterrupted me-time to get you ready for the next day. What you do to relax is entirely up to you. some people adore a long bath, while others prefer a good book or TV series. Take yourself on a solo break For many people, even the act of sitting in a café and having lunch alone is a big step. It can take some serious willpower to forget about what other people think of you, and to just luxuriate in being alone. Once you do, though, it’s the most freeing thing in the world. When you’ve graduated from the solo café trip, you might consider taking yourself further afield. When’s the last time you travelled by yourself? Maybe it’s time to do that European walking tour you’ve always dreamed about. Believe that you can, and you will People who grab opportunities, take chances, and doggedly pursue their ambitions truly succeed in life. They don’t always win, but they never shy away from fighting for what they want. This kind of determination nurtures the soul just as much as any pampering night. Take inspiration from the women you know who thrive in typically male-dominated sectors or industries. Determined women have risen to the top ranks of trucking companies, and have become CEO of a law firm. These ladies needed self-belief to get where they are, and set a fantastic example for the rest of us. Stop putting yourself down Humility is a virtue. When you’re modest to the point of actually denying your talents and achievements, however, self-destruction can ensue. Enjoy celebrating your wins! That new promotion or personal triumph needs recognition – most of all, by you. Figure out the kind of exercise you actually enjoy Think back to the types of activities you enjoyed as a kid, and determine the type of exercise which will make youhappy. There are so many inside-out benefits to getting active! Don’t compare yourself to others There’s no better testament to the phrase “comparison is the thief of joy” than social media. Although these platforms were created to better connect us with others, they’ve actually turned out to be detrimental to our self-esteem and wellbeing. Consider whether it may be time to take a break from comparing yourself to thousands of curated social media platforms. Treat others as you would treat yourself This doesn’t mean whitewashing your own flaws, but accepting them as a part of you,along with the good. Be objective in your relationship with yourself so that you don’t get lost in the mire of self-loathing. Forgive your past mistakes, and cultivate a sense of positivity about the future. Perhaps most of all, become your own best friend. Make your life a story Committing the daily events of your life to pen and paper is a way to value your personal narrative. Writing in a journal can be a fantastic way to step back and reflect. What’s making you happy? Alternatively, are there parts of your life you need to change? About the Author: Harper is an adventurer, freelance creative writer and Japanese Anime geek. She loves nothing more than long bubble baths, unplanned getaways with her partner, Max, or kisses from their furry babies! You can visit her personal blog here– be sure to come say hi!
The Health Benefits of Living a Mindful Life 21 January 2019 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Guest Post, Inspiration, Self Care, Therapy In the modern-day bustle of living, mindfulness doesn’t always come easy. We’re tired, distracted, and always rushing to get something done, and it’s rare for us to stop and take a pause, to really analyze everything that’s going on around us. But if we want to improve our quality of life, then mindfulness is necessary and we have to stop making excuses—it’s time to slow down and assess our situation, it’s time to start taking better care of our mental and physical health. Becoming mindful is a process that brings many benefits, and if you’re interested in how it can transform you, we’re here to show you. You’ll become true to yourself Humans are social creatures. While this is a good thing that makes it easier to live in a community, sometimes it can also mean the loss of individuality and a damaged sense of self—we try so hard to please everyone and it’s easy to get caught up in our thoughts, feelings, and insecurities to the point that they start ruining our lives. Rather than wondering what will make us happy in this moment, we think about what will look good, what will be socially accepted. Rather than nurturing our own unique selves, we attempt to stifle that energy and mold it into something more agreeable. This is exactly what mindfulness can help with—instead of chipping away at your individuality, it can help you lift it up and remind you why it’s so important to stay true to yourself. Happiness doesn’t lie in pandering to everyone else, no matter how much you love them. It lies in the knowledge that you are the master of your own fate, and it’s on you to make the best of what life has to offer. You’ll learn how to take care of your needs When you start nurturing your spirit, you’ll remember that you must take care of your needs before doing anything else. Mindfulness will help you realize that taking time off and doing things that are good for your health isn’t a mere indulgence. No, it’s absolutely essential. If you want a good example of how important it is to develop self-care strategies, look at Asian cultures. In China, there’s a great emphasis on things like massage therapy, acupuncture, and hydrotherapy as a way to improve wellness. A lot of people have developed a habit of going to a good spa salon when life gets overwhelming, and it’s becoming as common as going to a doctor when you get sick. It’s not just a treat, it’s a health strategy. If you want to care for yourself, consider doing something similar. Figure out what ails you, what needs to be fixed, what kind of things relax you and make you happy. If reading books puts you in a good mood, the find the time to read. Exercise, eat well, and do what needs to be done to keep your mental and physical health in good shape. You’ll reduce anxiety in your life Since all of these things are connected, living in the moment and focusing on what’s right in front of you will undoubtedly make you a lot less anxious. You won’t keep worrying about things that haven’t even happened yet, you won’t keep remembering embarrassing mistakes from the past. You’ll look at what’s happening right now and you’ll know how to enjoy it. Your relationships will improve Once you’re connected to the energy around you and all your needs are met, it’s a lot easier to practice empathy and understand those that are close to you. Patience and gentleness that come from being mindful open up a path towards better communication, and very often talking it out with your loved ones is all you need to improve your relationship. Knowing yourself will also help you know other people better—you’ll understand their fears, insecurities, and generally what makes them tick. You’ll know how to deal with an unpleasant situation and create stronger bonds. Years of pent up anger and bitterness could finally dissipate because you’ll learn how to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, and you’ll learn to let toxic people go and stick only to those who release positive energy into your life. You’ll feel more attractive Mindfulness means being in control of your emotions and knowing your own truth. Instead of being plagued by doubt and insecurities, you’ll be able to let those go and embrace and celebrate all of your positive sides. The confidence gained from that is a huge boost to how good you feel in your own skin. You’ll simply become aware of your own worth, and that is something unshakable. Leading a mindful life is within your reach. Through meditation, self-care, and other activities that help you live in the moment. Once you learn to let go of the past and stop fretting about the future you’ll be able to finally see what’s going on around you—a whole world of beauty and success that’s just waiting for you to embrace it. Written by: Sophia Smith Sophia Smith is a beauty blogger, eco-lifestyle lover, graphic designer and food enthusiast. She is focusing on minimalism and good quality. Her other hobbies center around her love for nature, well-being and living in balance. Sophia writes mostly about beauty-related topics in her blogs and articles. She has contributed to a number of publications including: Life Goals Mag, Savant Magazine, Secret Garden, Bonvita Style, Cause Artist and Book Meditation Retreats. You can find out more about her writing by following her on: Facebook Twitter Google +
What Does it Mean to be Authentic? 22 October 2018 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Individual Therapy, Inspiration, Relationships, Self Care, Therapy “Authenticity is not something we have or don’t have. It’s a practice – a conscious choice of how we want to live. Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.” – Brené Brown Being authentic means feeling comfortable sharing your flaws and failures as much as your triumphs and successes, and that you don’t need to be liked by others to feel as though you matter. It is a true recognition that you matter regardless of what others think, and being able to embrace your weaknesses as much as your strengths. Being authentic means not striving to be what others expect us to be, or even what we think we are supposed to be, but rather loving the most vulnerable parts of ourselves. It means knowing that we can form opinions on our own, and to voice those opinions in a way that holds true to our values. Most importantly, being authentic means staying true to our core values, even when they are different from someone else’s. We have all had those moments where we faked being happy when what we really wanted to do was fall apart. Why do we do that? Because we have been programmed to believe that who we are isn’t enough, and that how we feel isn’t ok. We are taught very early in life that people will only truly like us if we present them with something that feels good to them. This fear often holds us back from being authentically ourselves. Imagine arriving to work, and when asked “how are you today?” you actually respond with how you are feeling; “I am feeling awful, my kids were having complete meltdowns” or maybe it sounds like, “my morning was horrible, my husband and I got into an argument”. Most of us would never say these things, even though they are exactly what we are experiencing and feeling. Of course there may be some people you aren’t willing to share that information with, and that’s okay too! Being authentic means doing and sharing what we feel when we want to, and with whom we want to share that with. Being authentic means not being scared to share those feelings in order to make others more comfortable, and sharing what we want to based on what we may need in that moment. Lastly, I want to emphasize that being authentic isn’t something that we have to search for, it is being exactly who we are. To each person this will look different, and that is what is so beautiful about authenticity! Written by Bliss therapist Tammy Benwell. Learn more about Tammy and get her secret “Tips From the Couch” here. If you liked this article you might enjoy these too: Others Will Treat You The Way You Let Them – 3 Keys to Boundary Setting Good News: There’s No Such Thing As Bad Feelings Why We Need to Stop “Agreeing to Disagree” Do you have any questions for us? We’re happy to help! Get in touch with us here. If you’re interested in booking your first appointment with Bliss, you can do that here.
Good News: There’s No Such Thing As “Bad” Feelings 30 July 2018 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Communication, Individual Therapy, Self Care, Therapy Have you ever screwed up in your relationship, or have done something that you immediately felt terrible about? Perhaps your stomach started doing backflips and you were filled with a sense of dread, anxiety, and maybe even anger or shame. However you choose to describe the feeling, it probably didn’t feel awesome. Many folks might immediately label these feelings as, “bad.” We hear this a lot in our therapy work with clients, and our response is almost always the same: Feelings aren’t good or bad—they just are. These feelings? They’re distinctly uncomfortable. Not bad, wrong, or inappropriate, but simply not comfortable and an important aspect of being human. Feelings give us information that’s impossible to perceive in any other way than with judgment. However, we can only use this valuable information when we stop pushing them away, ignoring them, or becoming numb to them. To help the difficult feelings feel better, people sometimes turn to the blame game, pointing a finger at someone else for what happened. People often place blame on others to ease the pain in the moment, but it hardly works in the long run. In addition to blame, we often want to stop the uncomfortable feeling right away and move on to a better-feeling one, searching for a quick fix to our feelings. Just feel it Whether it’s distracting, minimizing, or turning our backs and sprinting away from uneasy feelings, this could be causing more suffering. Instead, just feel your feelings. It may feel a little overwhelming at first, to feel them all at once, because it might feel too heavy. However, you can give yourself the permission to feel them, do what you need to do, wallow for a while and then move on. It can be all too easy to pretend something didn’t happen, or even ignore our feelings entirely. However, this doesn’t serve us well in the future because our feelings need to move through us. We can sit in the discomfort of an unpleasant feeling and feel our way through it, staring our feelings directly in the eye in the name of being able to move on. Feelings can also give us clues about our current physical and emotional well-being. They offer us insight into what feelings bring us closer to, or further away from joy, helping us spot problems before they happen. Feelings can also help provide us with motivation—to make a change, try something new, or make a decision. They can be a helpful “heads up” for figuring out our lives. Keep in mind, they don’t always give us answers. We need our cognitive skills for understanding what feelings mean, and to do this, we need to first register what the feeling is so that we can feel it fully. Once we do this, then we can get to the business of figuring out what this clue means. The good or bad measuring stick Many people grow up judging our emotions as either “good” or “bad.” Maybe it looks a lot like this: “Good” feelings: Happy Glad Funny Calm “Bad” feelings: Sad Angry Lonely Displeased Think about some of the labels you’ve applied to feelings in the past. Perhaps you could add some to this list. Instead, celebrate your feelings Here’s a fresh take on how to look at your feelings, no matter what they are: your feelings are proof that you have feelings and that you’re a feeling person! That’s fantastic! It means you’re present, you’re here and living out a rich human experience. Life as a human means that we get to experience a full spectrum of emotion, not just good and bad emotions. Sure, some of these sentiments will feel more uncomfortable than others, but once you recognize this simple truth, it can be easier to move on. Therapy isn’t about fixing feelings When you tap into the power of your emotional system and put the information to proper use, this can give you an advantage when it comes to making decisions. Many people see their emotions as something they have to control or keep in check, rather than something they could capitalize on to strengthen their lives. Visiting a therapist isn’t about helping clients to stop feeling their feelings, learning how to manage them, or going through emotions previously described as “bad” or “wrong.” Instead, consider therapy as a practical, judgment-free space to help people feel safe enough to allow the feelings to pop up and incorporate the less comfortable feelings. As therapists, we’re not here to “fix” anyone, but rather, set up a space to just feel and explore feelings. Amp up your emotional intelligence Using your feelings as a learning opportunity is the key to making better life choices. What would happen if you decided to see your feelings as information? What might that change in your life? The next time you notice an uncomfortable or distressing feeling knocking on your door, try pivoting from thinking, “this is bad” to “this feeling is uncomfortable,” and notice what happens to your demeanor and interactions with others. Are you ready to dig into your feelings and learn the clues they might be offering you to help live your best life? We’d love to hear more! Get in touch and book an appointment here. Written by Bliss therapist Kelly McDonnell-Arnold. Learn more about Kelly and get her secret “Tips From the Couch” here. If you enjoyed this article, you might like these too: 12 Reasons It Might Be A Good Idea To See A Therapist So Your Partner Thinks You Need Couples Therapy It’s Not What You Say, It’s How You Say It
You Could Be Sleep Deprived: What It Does and What to Do About It 23 July 2018 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Guest Post, Self Care Sleep plays an indispensable role in overall health and wellness. When the body doesn’t get enough rest, the consequences can affect thinking ability, appetite, and your professional and personal relationships. What Happens to Your Body During Sleep Deprivation Even one bad night of sleep can change the mind and body, and prolonged sleep deprivation only causes these changes to worsen. While you sleep, the brain gets to work cleansing itself of toxins while pruning and strengthening connections made during the day. If you’re not getting enough rest or if you frequently wake throughout the night, your critical-thinking skills, decision-making abilities, and reaction times all slow down because the brain isn’t getting the time it needs for self-maintenance. Your body also changes how it controls appetite when tired. The body releases more of the hunger hormone ghrelin and less of the satiety hormone leptin, leaving you hungrier and less full. Not only do you feel hungrier but the body craves high-fat snacks and sugary treats because the reward center of the brain gets a bigger “hit” from those foods when you’re tired. It becomes difficult to maintain your physical health without enough sleep. Certain areas of the brain also begin to function differently when sleep deprived. The amygdala, which processes emotions, becomes more sensitive to negative thoughts while the prefrontal cortex, which applies higher reasoning to feelings becomes less active. Consequently, irritability, aggression, sadness, and anger can have more influence on your daily interactions. Maintaining both professional and personal relationships becomes harder due to the emotional changes that take place during sleep deprivation. Make a Change for Better Sleep While sleep may be a necessary biological function, that doesn’t mean that it’s always easy. There are many environmental factors as well as personal habits and behaviours that can be altered to affect your sleep positively. The bedroom and everything in it should support healthy sleep. For example, a comfortable mattress with breathability and support eliminates physical discomforts and distractions. Blackout curtains and noise absorbing decor that keep light and sound to a minimum can help reduce wakefulness or waking too early. You can also develop habits that support healthy sleep like: Keeping a Consistent Sleep-Wake Schedule: The body loves a consistent schedule because it allows it to follow natural 24-hour cycles called circadian rhythms. When you go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, you give your body a chance to adjust and strengthen its response to these cycles. Developing a Regular Bedtime Routine: Routines help the brain know when to time the release of sleep hormones. A bedtime routine can also help relieve stress and calm the mind. Reading a book, meditation, and taking a warm bath are all bedtime routine favourites because of their relaxing effects. Regularly Spaced and Timed Meals: Try to eat your meals at roughly the same time every day and keep them evenly spaced throughout the day. Meal timing and spacing plays a role in the proper timing of the sleep-wake cycle. Shut Off Your Screens: Televisions and other electronic devices can give off a blue light that suppresses sleep hormones. You can either shut them off two to three hours before bed or turn on the low blue light setting if the device has one. Everyone will have a sleepless night now and then. However, if the problem becomes chronic, you can take steps to improve your chances of getting a full night’s rest. About the Author: Amy Highland is a sleep expert at SleepHelp.org. Her preferred research topics are health and wellness, so Amy’s a regular reader of Scientific American and Nature. She loves taking naps during thunderstorms and cuddling up with a blanket, book, and cats.
The Power of Me Time 16 July 2018 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Guest Post, Individual Therapy, Inspiration, Self Care, Therapy In today’s fast-paced, digital world, it’s nearly impossible to be alone. We’re always connected. School, work and relationships all have a major impact on the way we live our life, and ultimately on our state of well-being and happiness. A critical part of finding peace and happiness is accepting yourself just the way you are. We as people are not perfect, yet we often times lose sight of this and demand things from ourselves we simply cannot do. And being constantly surrounded by others intensifies this sensation. There’s so much pressure to “be someone,” and it seems like we’re always being judged or compared to others. Enter “me time”. This small change to your lifestyle can have major effects on your self-esteem, self-confidence and self-worth. But what exactly is it? Well, it’s pretty much what the name says. It’s time you take entirely for yourself. It can be just a few minutes, or it can be a few hours, and it doesn’t really matter what you do. The only requirements are that you be alone and that you do something you love to do. Why is this so important? Simply put, carving out some time of the day just for you is an opportunity for you to show yourself that you can be happy without others. Of course, sharing yourself is a critical component of wellness, but when we’re out in the world, we’re constantly being fed messages that indicate happiness is something to be found outside of ourselves, something we need to acquire. Yet long-lasting happiness cannot be found externally. It’s not even something that can be found. It’s already inside of us; we just need some time to realize it. And this is exactly what “me time” is for. It’s a chance for you to forget about the situations in life where you’re asked to do things you perhaps don’t enjoy or that bring you stress. These are unavoidable, so by balancing them with moments of true bliss, you are giving yourself the strength you need to make it through the day. “Me time” can also serve as a great motivator. If you know your day is going to end with you sitting in your room meditating, or that it’s going to begin with a novel and a cup of delicious coffee, you’ll begin to approach the rest of your day differently. Undesirable tasks will take on new meaning since completing them will mean you get to enjoy this wonderful time with yourself and the things you love to do. When you decide to add “me time” to your day, take it seriously. Tell those around you—your partner, children, friends, etc.—the specific time you’ve cut out of your schedule. Inform them to only disturb you in the event of an extreme emergency and consider switching off your phone and/or tablet so that you can’t be distracted by the outside world. In the beginning, it may even be helpful to put this time on your calendar so that you and those around you can understand this is not a fad or a whim but a real component of you maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Once you start doing this, you won’t be able to stop. You’ll be able to see the impacts almost right away. You’ll find new energy and motivation, and you’ll begin to feel better about yourself. If you’re looking to make bigger changes in life, this is a great way to find the drive and confidence to do so. Start taking some “me time” today and see how it can change your life for the better. About the author: Caroline is a freelance writer and entrepreneur. When she entered the working world, she quickly became a self-proclaimed workaholic. While this brought her some financial success, it nearly ruined several relationships and left her in a truly dark place. After seeking some help, she began realizing how important it was to take life a little less seriously and to reserve time for what she loved to do. This has helped her create a work-life balance that supports both her professional and personal goals. She writes frequently about her experiences to help other ambitious women (and men) prioritize their life in the right way so that success at work doesn’t come at the expense of health and well-being.
Busting Stress 6 July 2017 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Guest Post It’s a question I ask during every initial visit: “Tell me about your stress.” Oftentimes, people don’t even recognize their stress as stress. We are so conditioned to think being “go-go-go” all the time is ‘normal’ that we don’t even realize it’s not. More and more, I am convinced that stress is the epidemic of our time. Back to the Basics During hunter-gatherer days when we would see a wild animal our stress would peak, our adrenals would put out adrenaline and cortisol, our bodies would shunt blood from our inner organs to our limbs and muscles, and we would run away. This is fight-or-flight, also known as Sympathetic Mode. The sympathetic nervous system increases heart rate, increases blood flow to extremities, diverts sugar to the blood (increases blood sugar levels), increases blood clotting, increases inflammation. We would get back to the fire and safety, our stress would decrease, our adrenals would relax, our bodies would deliver blood back to our inner organs, and we would rest. This is rest-and-digest, also known as Parasympathetic Mode. The parasympathetic nervous system stimulates digestion (enzyme production, stomach acid production), peristalsis (the movement that moves food the intestines), regulates deep sleep (stage 4), and stimulates sex organs (libido and fertility). Cortisol is known as our stress hormone, and we should have a regular rise and fall in cortisol throughout the day, which is countered with melatonin. In the morning, cortisol peaks while melatonin hits it’s lowest. Then throughout the day cortisol slowly decreases and hits it’s lowest before bed, while melatonin starts to spike which signals sleep. This constant interplay between cortisol and melatonin creates our circadian rhythm. Our ideal cortisol graph would look something like this: After each stressor we are able to return to a relaxed, parasympathetic state, and the stress resolves. However, more and more this rhythm is disrupted with stress. Usually when I am told that, “I’m not stressed, I’m just a busy person. I like it though, I can’t just sit there,” I follow up with, “okay, tell me about your day.” The response usually looks something like this: “Well, I wake up at 6 am, I get the kids up, make them breakfast, pack their lunches, drop them off at school, head over to the office. We are really busy at work so I usually work through the day, sometimes I forget to have lunch or I’ll just have a quick snack at my desk. Then after work I pick up the kids, get them a snack, drop them off at hockey/music/dance/soccer/etc. Then I go to the gym for a bit, then I pick them up, we have a quick dinner, I clean the house, put the kids to bed and I sit down to watch something but often times I fall asleep right away. Then I’ll wake up and go to bed.” (Imagine this said as quickly as possible with few breaths…) That go-go-go is stress. Aging, food, alcohol, coffee, other stimulants, working long hours, and lack of bonding is all stress as well. That is being in sympathetic mode all…day…long. With a graph that tends to look more like this: This means we are rarely getting into parasympathetic mode, and that will take a toll on our body. Stress and the Body It probably comes as no surprise that chronic stress will take a negative effect on the body, but some of the stats and facts might actually surprise you. 79-90% of all visits to primary health care practitioners in North America are due to stress-related illnesses. (Perkins 1994, Saving Money by Reducing Stress. Harvard Business Review 72(6):12) 68% of women say they are chronically stressed, yet only 25% say they are doing anything about it. (Statistics Canada) 11% of Americans age 12 or older report taking antidepressants. (CDC data) Both effects (acute and chronic stress) increase HPA stimulation and result in greater hippocampal and amygdala atrophy, biphasic alterations in structure increasing swings from depression to anxiety in women as compared to men. (Without clinical diagnosis of bipolar). (Bruce McEwen, Glucocorticoids, depression and mood disorders: Structural remodelling in the brain. Metabolism, May 2005, Vol 54, Issue 5, page 20-23). The last fact regarding anxiety and depression may be the most ‘shocking’, but under chronic stress our bodies and adrenal glands get taxed and coping decreases, which includes regulating mood. So, what should you do? It would be awesome if we could all just quit the stress in our lives, move to Mexico, and lay on a beach. But unfortunately that’s not reality, so it’s about finding ways to cope and manage stress. As a Naturopathic Doctor, I will often use nutrition, herbs and nutrients to help support your body and correct depletions. Chronic stress takes a serious toll on the adrenal glands and those don’t bounce back quickly as they won’t ever get a real ‘break’. However, without the tools to mange stress, even supplements are a bandaid and not a solution. My main recommendation for combatting stress is working on getting your cortisol down and into parasympathetic mode. Thankfully, there are a bunch of different ways to do this. Here are my top 5 easy to incorporate ways to manage stress: Yoga: In yoga, physical postures and breathing exercises improve muscle strength, flexibility, blood circulation and oxygen uptake as well as hormone function. In addition, the relaxation induced by meditation helps to stabilize the autonomic nervous system with a tendency towards parasympathetic dominance. (Europe PMC) In one study, researchers evaluated the effects of yoga in females subjects who participated in a 3-month yoga program compared to those on a waitlist and found that those who participated in the yoga program demonstrated pronounced and significant improvements in perceived stress, anxiety, well-being, vigor, fatigue and depression. Physical well-being increased, headaches and back pain decreased and even salivary cortisol decreased significantly after participation in a yoga class (compared to before the class). (com) Guided Meditation/Breathing: This is an easy one to incorporate throughout the day. I will often recommend a quick 2 minute breathing exercise before each meal to help move towards parasympathetic mode and improve digestion. I also love guided imagery. A subscription to Apple Music or Spotify will provide you with a HUGE selection of various guided imageries that can be downloaded and listened to. This type of mindfulness has been shown to improve mood, decrease stress, boost the immune system, and even improve fertility. Studies are also showing there is huge benefits in children as well. My own daughter has a full playlist on Apple Music of children’s guided imagery that we will use after school, before bed, or any time we need a bit of calm. Adult Colouring: I know it’s all the rage right now, but for good reason. In a recent study, participants had their salivary cortisol measured before and after 45 minutes of adult colouring/art making. The results showed a statistically significant decrease in salivary cortisol levels and participants reported feeling much more relaxed with lower stress. It makes you wonder why we adults ever stopped colouring in the first place! Sleep Hygiene: We can’t look at stress and cortisol without also looking at sleep and melatonin. If cortisol becomes unbalanced/spiking improperly then the interplay between melatonin and cortisol will also become unbalanced, and sleep often gets affected. A good sleep routine helps to keep those circadian rhythms in check and allows your body to know when it should be producing more cortisol and when it should be producing more melatonin. Make sure you are following these basic sleep hygiene practices: Keep a regular sleep and wake time (as much as possible) to keep your circadian rhythm regular. Keep your room completely dark – remove clocks, use black out blinds etc. This helps signal your body that it’s time for sleep and to produce melatonin. Avoid electronics before bed – this plays into the dark point above but even more, electronic screens (tvs, phones, e-readers, etc.) emit blue light, which further disrupts melatonin production. So make sure you are avoiding it before bed. You can also download blue light blocking apps, or on iPhones you can set your screen to “night mode” which removes the blue light. Assemble your team: You’ve heard it before. “It takes a village.” And this rings true for your stress and mental health as well. The majority of our stress these days is kind of unavoidable – we have to get to work (traffic), we have to take care of kids, we have to have jobs, etc. Completely removing stress is unrealistic, but it is important to find people who can help you to manage your stress. Find a counsellor or therapist that you click with. I know there is still some lingering stigma around seeing a therapist when there really shouldn’t be. These are skilled practitioners who are well trained to provide you with an outlet to work through stress, as well as an array of coping mechanisms and tools to help manage or reframe stresses. Get a massage. Multiple studies show the benefits of massage. It has actually been shown that massage can decrease cortisol levels and actually increase dopamine and seratonin levels! Participate in mindfulness. Whether through a yoga class/instructor or finding a mindfulness or meditation coach, working on retraining your body to get into parasympathic mode is a huge step in reducing stress and cortisol. There are even group meditation classes in Uptown Waterloo! Talk to your Naturopathic Doctor. Optimizing diet, nutrients and lifestyle goes a long way in dealing with stress and coping. Herbs and supplements can also help support those adrenal glands and give them the nourishment they need after chronic stress. However, it’s not just finding tools, it’s also allowing yourself to make self care a priority. How many people feel ‘guilty’ sitting down in the afternoon or evening, thinking about all the ‘other’ things they should be doing (dishes, laundry, errands, emails, tasks, etc.)? Many times, these moments of just relaxing are thought of as ‘wasted’ time. Working on shifting that mindset to view those times as important moments of self care will be an important way to allow yourself to truly get into parasympathic mode. Remember, self care is never wasted time. If you are feeling stress or overwhelmed, it is never too late to reach out and start making changes. In Health, Dr. Jessica, Naturopathic Doctor at The Coach House Therapeutic Centre This post originally appeared on The Coach House Blog Disclaimer: The information contained in these topics is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, it is provided for educational purposes only. This information shouldn’t take the place of seeing a Naturopathic Doctor or your primary care provider for individualized health recommendations. Dr. Jessica Gurske completed her Bachelors of Science at the University of Waterloo. After her third year of studies, she traveled to Central America with International Service Learning Organization where she spent three weeks providing healthcare to under-serviced areas throughout Costa Rica and Nicaragua. It was a life-changing and educational experience. Jessica went on to complete a four year Doctor of Naturopathic Medicine program at the Canadian College of Naturopathic Medicine in Toronto, Ontario. She has successfully completed two national board exams through NABNE (North American Board of Naturopathic Examinations) and provincial licensing through the Board of Directors of Drugless Therapies-Naturopathy (BDDT-N). Jessica also has additional training in facial rejuvenation acupuncture. Jessica is also a mother which has sparked her interest in pregnancy and newborn care, women’s health and paediatrics.
Getting Ready for Mother’s Day: Self-care for Moms 9 May 2017 Bliss Team No comments Categories: Individual Therapy With Mother’s Day fast approaching it is important for us moms to practice self-care. At Bliss we believe that self-care is important for everybody, but it is super important for moms for several reasons. Reason number 1: we need to maintain our sanity SOMEHOW. And reason number 2: we need to model for our children that they matter. Yes, you read that right – you teach your children that they matter by showing them that you matter. Kids don’t respond to what you tell them, they respond to what you show them. If you live your life as a martyr to the needs of others, you are not teaching them to honour and cultivate their self worth, a skill they will need in the years to come. Now, I know that it can be difficult to find the time to take care of yourself, especially when children are small and they depend on you for…everything. But it is absolutely essential, and completely doable if you start with the little things and build to a self-care ritual that works for you and your family. Here are some suggestions for practicing self-care as a mom: Alone time – take a bath, read a book, go for a walk, meditate, go to the gym, journal. These can all be quick 15-30 minute practices or afternoon-long relaxation events, depending on what you need/have time for! Forgive yourself – we all make mistakes, there isn’t a mom alive who doesn’t have flaws. In fact, there isn’t a human alive who doesn’t have flaws. Instead of beating yourself up, practice forgiveness. Show your kids that it is ok to make mistakes and that it’s important to own them, apologize for them, and then move on. Build a support network – have friends who don’t claim to know what is best for you but who support you, who listen and don’t judge. Those are the best kinds of people, and you deserve them. Make time for them, laugh with them, and explore common or new interests with them. Take a nap – if you are feeling overwhelmed and exhausted give yourself the rest your body and mind need, even if only for 15 minutes. You deserve to rest. Say “NO” – it’s ok to say no to things. You would never justify a yes, so don’t feel like you need to justify a no. No is a good enough answer. It can be difficult at first, but once you start practicing saying no it gets easier – I promise. Try a new recipe – only if you like to cook. If you don’t it’s perfectly ok – order from or visit a new restaurant! In fact, it’s probably a good rule to just try something new once in a while. Write a gratitude list – regularly remind yourself of all of the wonderful things in your life. Sometimes when we feel overwhelmed we forget to acknowledge the things that are working well. Trust me, you will have more than you realize. Get outside – take your kids for a walk in nature, play basketball, have a picnic, kick a ball, read a book. It’s also ok if you do this alone! If you enjoy being outside make it a part of your self-care routine either way. Allow yourself to have your feelings – crying is ok, feeling angry is ok. It’s how you handle your emotions that matters most. In fact, it teaches your kids that it is ok to have emotions, and that feeling them isn’t a bad thing. Again your job is to model for your children, not to hide what you are experiencing. No one ever says we need to hide our happiness, why should we hide anything else? Order dinner in – it’s ok if you are too tired to cook! Even if that ends up being most nights…been there! Hire a cleaning lady – it doesn’t mean you are a failure, it means you have different priorities. That’s ok, and you should not feel ashamed to make that decision for yourself. Most importantly do what works for you! This list isn’t exhaustive; there are so many other ways to care for yourself. Don’t gage yourself based on what other moms are doing, do what works for you. And remember – you matter. Your kids want a mom who is available and you can’t be present if you are exhausted and emotionally depleted. Take care of yourself and everyone will benefit from it, I promise. I’ll say it once more in case you really need it today: You matter. “Parenting is hard. Just like lots of important jobs are hard. Why is it that the second a mother admits that it’s hard, people feel the need to suggest that maybe she’s not doing it right? Or that she certainly shouldn’t add more to her load. Maybe the fact that it’s so hard means she IS doing it right…in her own way…and she happens to be honest.” Glennon Doyle Melton Tammy Benwell, MSW, RSW