The current times, they sure are strange. It is perfectly normal during these tense times to be overwhelmed and to feel fear and anxiety when facing a new disease. Besides that, public health measures, such as social distancing and working from home, can make people feel isolated and lonely and increase stress and anxiety. 

Here are some tips that can help you cope with the challenges that the pandemic brings. 

Keep in touch with your loved ones

Don’t allow the feeling that you are on your own to take hold of you. It is more important than ever to stay connected with the people you love and trust during difficult times. Being cut off from the love, support, and close contact of family and friends can trigger depression or make existing symptoms worse.

Back when the first lockdowns began around the world, it was easier to think we could get through it on our own because we believed the restrictions would only be in place for a short period of time. As we enter 2021 still facing the same challenges, it is crucial that we realize we must stay in touch with our support networks to get through this.

If you can, meet the people you care about in person while adhering to the current social distancing measures. If not, use video calls and social media to maintain any form of contact. 

These times might even be an opportunity to reach out to the old friends you have fallen out of touch with. Remember, we’re all struggling, and everyone could use a bit of human contact.  

Talk about your feelings 

It is crucial to be able to admit to yourself that you are not feeling okay. Without acknowledging the emotions you are experiencing, you won’t be able to deal with them.

Once you manage to overcome this hurdle, it is equally essential not to keep all your negative emotions to yourself. If you don’t want to burden those around you, seek help from a professional. Doing this is the best thing you can do for your mental well-being. You can do so even without leaving the comfort of your home, as many places offer remote therapy or counseling. 

Remember to be kind to yourself

One of the trickiest things about anxiety and depression is their ability to self-perpetuate. Once you go down the spiral of depression, you have even less energy than before to deal with the negative things in your life. In turn, this makes you even more depressed or susceptible to depression, and the circle goes on. 

This is why you should do your best to remember that you have value and to practice self-belief. Self-belief incorporates self-care and believing in yourself, and as such, it can be essential for a healthy mindset during the Covid pandemic. 

Be supportive of others as well 

If you feel healthy and capable of doing something for those in need, do it. Helping others can help you as well as them. See if there are any local community groups that you could join to help people around you locally. (If you do go out to offer support or help to others, always follow social distancing guidelines when you are outside your home.)

Another option is to find a friend or family member nearby who is affected by Covid and try to help them. If you cannot help this way, try to be a little more understanding of other people’s concerns, worries, or behaviors at this time.

Take care of your body 

Many people reach for unhealthy coping mechanisms such as junk food, alcohol, or even drugs during uncertain times like these. Do your best to avoid these traps, as your physical health has a significant impact on how you feel. All these things might provide a short relief, but in the long-run, they’ll make your anxiety or depression symptoms much worse.

Try to eat healthy, well-balanced meals, drink enough water, and exercise regularly. Avoid smoking or drugs, and try not to drink too much alcohol. 

If you can, go for a hike or a bike ride, as those can help you clear your mind and reconnect with nature while simultaneously boosting your overall health. Getting fresh air and catching some rays is particularly important in the winter when the lack of sunlight lowers our levels of D vitamin, making us more susceptible to seasonal affective disorder.

Try to do the things you love

One of the worst things you can do for your mental health during this pandemic is to let the routine take over the control of your life. Being stuck in a rut is never a good thing, but during times like these, it can make you less likely to turn your attention and energy towards the things you love doing, the ones that can fill you with positivity. 

Focusing on your favorite hobby, relaxing, or connecting with others can help with anxious thoughts and feelings. If you cannot do the things you usually enjoy, think about how you could adapt them, or try something new.

This is also important: when the pandemic started, everybody talked about self-improvement and set up huge goals for themselves. As you might have seen already, most of those grandiose plans have failed.

It is essential to judge yourself on your own merits. Every small accomplishment counts. Even if all you do until the end of the pandemic is to stay safe and maintain your mental and physical wellbeing, that is no small feat, especially as we begin to realize this is a marathon, not a sprint.  

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Written by: Rebecca Brown

I’m Rebecca, a translator, avid traveler, and a bookworm. My job has given me the amazing opportunity to travel to dozens of countries around the world, and writing on Rough Draft gives me a chance to try to showcase some of them.

It’s that time of the year again! Bell will be donating 5 cents to mental health initiatives in Canada for every:

• Text (not iMessage) sent from a Bell customer phone;
• Tweet or retweet that includes #BellLetsTalk;
• Snapchat sent using Bell’s special filter.

More than just one conversation is needed, especially when we consider the number of people in Canada who are impacted by mental health challenges.

For instance, 20% of Canadians experience mental health challenges in any given year. By age 40, approximately half of the population have or will experience a mental health illness. Suicide is one of the leading causes of death from adolescence (15-24; 24%) to middle age (25-44;16%), with men being 4 times more likely to die by suicide when compared to women (1). Other populations such as First Nation, Metis, Inuit and LGBTQI2S youth, as well as federal inmates are at a higher risk for suicide as well (2).

Since 2010, Bell Let’s Talk has contributed significantly to mental health initiatives in Canada by funding community-based programs, educational resources, and anti-stigma and mental health awareness campaigns (3; 4). However, it’s important to remember this initiative isn’t called “#LetsTalk” and that this kind of activism is a form of marketing that is intended to promote a positive corporate message.

It’s without a doubt that more accessible resources and services are required now that there is a greater awareness of Canadians’ mental health needs. At Bliss Counselling, we will do our best to remove the barriers to accessing our mental health resources. We strive to provide an inclusive, safe, comfortable, compassionate and affordable space to talk about life’s challenges. If at any point we are unable to meet your needs, we will refer you to resources that will.

So… #LetsTalk today, tomorrow, and all of the days that follow.

If you would like to talk to somebody immediately about your mental health concerns, please call HERE 24/7 at 1-844-437-3247. If you would like to schedule a time to talk to one of our therapists, click here to book your consultation or contact us by phone or email. We are here to help!

These days when everything seems chaotic, it can be very hard to focus on certain tasks at hand and to find the time to do everything that is expected of us. Having so much on our plate makes it much more difficult to live a truly fulfilling life and to think about what is important to us.

One way to improve the quality of our lives is to consider living in the moment and practicing mindfulness. While this can be quite a difficult feat to achieve in this digital age, there are still things that we can do. We’ve made a list of ten ways to support you in adding mindful moments to your day. Take a look.

Start your day in the positive way

First things first, try to start your day in the most positive way possible. If you get out of bed all grumpy and nervous, it’s only natural to feel like that throughout the rest of the day as well. There are many ways to set a more positive tone for the day. For example, you can stay in bed a few minutes longer and think of affirmations to tell yourself, like “I am smart, kind, and I continue to grow,” “I am doing my best and am worthy of desire,” “I am loved,” etc. You can also get out of bed and look at yourself in the mirror. Cheerfully greet and assure yourself by listing several positive things that await you during the day. Another idea is to make space for gratitude. Name three things, people, or places that you have felt especially appreciative for in the day, month, or year. Finally, a great way to achieve mindfulness in the morning is by setting a few minutes aside and focusing on your breathing or following a guided meditation. Meditation, just like yoga, has many benefits for our mental health. Just a few minutes without your phone and the various notifications pouring in can help a lot.

Engage in meaningful conversations

Being mindful in social situations is also a great opportunity to work on this practice. When spending time with our loved ones and colleagues, make sure you are present in that moment. Really listen to what they are saying and process this information. Try your best to not get distracted by your own thoughts and just nod along to their stories. If you happen to get distracted, practice self-compassion. Acknowledge that your mind is feeling busy and do your best to bring your focus back to your friend. Listening and showing an interest in others is a form of care that can leave people feeling loved. When we receive care, we are more likely to return the favour. Seeing as how we have many conversations on a daily basis, you should have no trouble developing your mindful listening skills further.

Be present when eating

It happens way too often that our mind simply wanders off during meals. If we eat in front of the TV and computer or while playing on the phone, we don’t pay attention to what we eat. This could lead to eating more food than we really need or want, which could also affect our mental health. Try to focus on your food and enjoy the pleasure it brings along. Chew slowly, taste each flavour and notice every texture. There is no need to rush so really take in every aspect of the dish in front of you, from the colour, to the smell, to the temperature. Take small bites, feel the intention and let yourself be fully present in the experience.

Deal with the household chores

Doing chores around the house is just something that you can’t avoid, so why not make the most of it and turn it into a great mindfulness practice? The next time you have to deal with these tasks, think of some ways for how you can use them to create mindful moments and not just rush through everything. For example, when grocery shopping, choose your ingredients with the utmost care. When making a meal, notice how you are peeling, cutting, and cooking your food. Take note of the smells this activity is producing. If you’re doing laundry, really feel the textures of the clothes and dedicate yourself to folding them. By thinking of the details, you will really be in tune with your surroundings.

Go for a walk

An easy way to be mindful during the day requires you to leave the house and just roam around. This simple activity can do wonders for your mental health. However, we often tend to listen to music, podcasts and audiobooks while walking and even text and talk on the phone. In order for this experience to be truly mindful, you need to do your best to connect with the world around you. Notice the little things, take in the sensations around you like smells and sounds, feel the ground beneath your feet and so on. Meditating outdoors like this can help you de-stress and soothe your body and mind.

Ride your bike

Another activity that can bring you closer to nature is cycling. Just like walking, cycling can help you clear your mind, de-stress and put you in a better mood. The same rules apply here as well – take off your headphones and take in your surroundings. When going out cycling, try not to plan your route but go where the road takes you. That way, you will have to stay mindful of everything that is around you, especially if you stumble upon an unfamiliar track. You will have to keep an eye out for any bumps in the road, the other cyclists or pedestrians and any other obstacles you might encounter. Listen to your body and do your best to stay in the moment. If you feel your thoughts wandering, refocus once again on what you are doing. However, unlike walking, you will need some equipment to make this possible. Luckily, if you turn to companies like Bikes Online, you can find everything from bikes that will help you conquer the roads and bags you will need for your water all the way to spare parts for your trusty steed.

Celebrate the little things

In such hectic times, it’s not uncommon to stay focused on your overall goals. However, in order to be mindful, you have to enjoy even the little things. Thinking only about the big picture can lead to a lot of stress and planning that can be overwhelming. So, it would be best to start celebrating even the smallest of your achievements during the day. To avoid robotically doing tasks one after the other without actually realizing what you’ve done, you should stop after every completed task and congratulate yourself for doing it. You can even reward yourself by taking a break, stretching or having a healthy snack. This will allow you to appreciate your end goal even more. Sometimes it can be difficult to identify and celebrate what we have accomplished throughout the day. We may feel as though we haven’t really done anything. In these moments, remember that doing small tasks like getting out of bed, brushing our teeth, eating breakfast, for meal prepping for later, or even breathing, are all very important acts of self-care that deserve positive recognition.

Do things one at a time

We know that some people consider multitasking to be a great skill that helps us do more in a short time but the truth is that it only makes us less productive. We are spread too thin and, therefore,energy much faster. Plus, we are more likely to make mistakes. So, instead of trying to juggle several obligations at once, we should deal with one thing at a time. Finishing one task before starting another one will not only ensure we do it mindfully and properly but it will also allow us to celebrate it once it’s done. The great thing is that this can apply both to our private and professional life and help us thrive and be more connected to the world around us.

Schedule time to do nothing

Doing nothing may be perceived as laziness but, actually, having some time to yourself without any obligations is a necessary form of self-care. Even if it’s just five minutes, you need to take this time to do nothing and be truly in the here and now. You can just sit outside in the sun, lie in your bed or look through the window. Turn off all electronics and do your best to avoid any distractions. If you consider this to be your break from work, know that you will return to the task at hand refreshed and relaxed.

Make time for yourself before sleep

Before you turn in for the night, you can do a similar ritual to the one we suggested for the morning. You can stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself how good your day was and go through everything that you’ve managed to achieve. Try to quiet stressors or negative thoughts and energy which might still be on your mind. You can also do some meditating to calm yourself down as that might help you sleep better and wake up well-rested.

As you can see, there are so many ways how you can introduce mindfulness into your everyday routine and these ten are only scratching the surface. From developing a morning and evening routine, to implementing some exercise and learning how to enjoy the little things, you should be able to find the approach that will fit you just right.

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Written by : Helen Bradford, Pronouns: She/Her/Hers

Helen Bradford is a journalism student who always seeks new ideas to write about. She enjoys blogging about beauty, health and style trends for women. When she’s not writing, she spends her spare time being active through fitness and traveling.

Compersion is the warm, enjoyable, and downright pleasurable feelings that we experience when our partners’ are cultivating good feelings with or from other people. The principal of compersion originates within consensual non-monogamous relationships (e.g., polyamory, swinging, open relationships, etc.). If we are thinking in binaries, compersion opposes jealousy and monogamous ideologies that are rooted in possessing, or “mate-guarding,” our partner’s affection for ourselves. 

If one partner is experiencing jealousy in their relationship, we might describe them as being in pain from the perceived threat of their significant other receiving care from or giving attention to another person. With jealousy, there is a sense of entitlement over a partner (i.e., feeling that we are owed our partner’s attention) and a fear of loss due to comparing ourselves to another. Anthropologists suggest that jealousy may be present in all cultures, but that it varies in the amount and intensity across communities and seems to be most prevalent among cultures where there is strong or aggressive masculine pride, or patriarchal standards (Peluso, 2008). 

Jealousy is most often known for leading to losses in affection, self-esteem and mistrust, as well as feelings of insecurity, anxiety, and rejection. For instance, in a recent study (Mogilski et al., 2019), the researchers found that when monogamous participants considered their partner as being involved with another person, they reported greater emotional distress than those who were consensually non-monogamous. Jealousy can create tones of possessiveness, aggression, and manipulation in a relationship and subjects all those involved to stress, and in more extreme cases, depression, abuse, suicide, and/or homicide (Harmon-Jones et al., 2009). So it’s no wonder that jealousy is one of the most common reasons that romantic and intimate relationships dissolve! 

Some researchers suggest however, that there are benefits to milder forms of jealousy (Rathus, Nevid, Fichner-Rathus, McKay, 2015). From this perspective, jealousy may serve as a way to show how much we care for our partners. But we have to consider to what extent this might be. Are you feeling occasional self-doubts or are you feeling consumed by your fears and overly dependent on your partners?

None of this is to say that we should try our best to avoid jealousy or hide our experiences of jealousy from our partners. It’s quite the opposite. Consider instead that milder forms of jealousy may be a signal of care when we are feeling challenged with openly communicating the emotions we are experiencing in our romantic and intimate relationships. Rather than falling into the pits of jealousy, or supressing it completely, what if instead it could be tamed? 

Enter compersion. Unfortunately, limited research exists on compersion, especially in comparison to jealousy. From what we do know, compersion is sensitive and empathetic to other people faring well or experiencing joy, and as a reflection of this, we feel positively of the situation too. Compersion is not the masochistic pleasure (i.e., enjoyment from emotions that are construed or socially constructed as “bad”), pride, or vicarious enjoyment. Rather, it requires learning to appreciate others’ as they flourish. 

In order to tame jealousy, we must understand the more deeply rooted issues and unpack our underlying concerns, which are often related to the fact that we enjoy affection and we care about ourselves. Jealousy is a response to vulnerability, as other people shape how we engage and feel connected in our communities. Perhaps our attachments to those we view as sources of security, feel susceptible to instability. When we are attached to another person, we feel a great sense of pleasure and dependency. However, dependency can feel like a great risk, as it comes with the potential for harm and abandonment, as well as losses in terms of support, pleasurable companionship and connections, or our relational identity. Ultimately, dependency can feel as though it is destabilizing our self-concepts (i.e., our beliefs of ourselves and others). 

Overcoming jealousy then, requires reflection and nurturance. We must reflect on social constructions of romantic ideals, like commitment, exclusivity, and competitive mating, and consider whether we would like to endorse these perspectives in our own relationships. This kind of reflection requires us to interrogate notions of power, social structures, identities and norms and to consider notions of consent and autonomy (i.e., the ability to make decisions for ourselves). We must too contemplate the ways in which we would like to communicate with our partners, and whether this consists of transparency, openness, accountability, and empathetic understanding for each other. Further, we should also reflect on our own expectations and boundaries. Ask yourself:

What do you want from a romantic relationship and why?

Are you bound to social standards or are you driven by your own personal desires?

Are you feeling too dependent on your partner?

Are you feeling insecure, and if so, what might be triggering these feelings and how could they be managed?

What affirmation are you looking for from your partner?

By doing this, you can begin to tame some of jealousy’s worst manifestations by slowly exposing yourself to new ideas and affirmations. Jealousy is fear-based, and therefore, thrives in silence and isolation. Try communicating these fears with others, practicing positive affirmations (e.g., “It’s okay to feel jealous”), and expressing love. 

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Written by: Jess Boulé, Pronouns: they, them, theirs / she, her, hers

Jess is our office strategist at Bliss Counselling. Jess is a Master’s graduate from the University of Guelph. During their degree, they focused on aging and end-of-life, communication, human sexuality, LGBTQI2S+ health, inclusive practice and policies, knowledge mobilization strategies, research methods, and program evaluation.